I think I turned that corner. You know the one Oprah says you’ll turn when you hit 50 or so? The one where you are finally comfortable in who you are and you embrace the lumps and bumps and bruises you have had along the way. The one where it no longer matters if you fit into a mold or size or state of mind. I think I turned that corner.
As I am fast closing in on the end of my 55th year, I realize that the last five years of my journey have been hilly. I’m going to even go back 10 years - I lost my sister to lung cancer in 2001. September 2, 2001. Somedays, it seems like such a long, long time ago and then I realize that’s probably because so much has happened in between now and then.
Of course, we all know what happened just 9 days later. My lovely little niece had a memorial service planned for my sister on September 15, 2001. While I was able to be with Micki when she passed away, and I had every intention of returning to Florida with my brothers to go to the memorial, after September 11th I found myself unwilling, unable, to budge. Too much unknown, too much fear, too much out and out horror. I couldn’t move. My brothers made it. They drove there and back in just a quick trip but I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t. I had a daughter in high school, a daughter on a college campus and a son in another state. I needed to be “home base” cause we knew not what was to come. I was rocked to my core.
I worked in a building where I was ridiculed every day. Belittled and bullied, but I plodded on. Good things happened in my life and they almost made up for the daily pile of pooh I went through each day, just to earn a paycheck. I began to unravel though, just a little bit, every day. Didn’t really know it at the time but looking back, I can see it starting and I know how it finished. But, the good news is, it finished, before it finished me.
This begins a new series of my reflections folks. This one is not going to be as light hearted nor as sunshiney as the rest of my posts. This one is going to get a bit dirtier...and I don’t mean cuss words, I mean dirt. Grime. Icky, ewwie. We are going to examine words and deeds and why we endure what we shouldn’t have to endure. I won’t use names, but you are smart people and if you figure out characters, okay by me. These are MY events, this is MY story.
You see, kind ladies and sirs, I’ve turned a corner. I’ve come to embrace my fragility and my failures...mine. But I will not, do not, accept the bumps and bruises inflicted by others. I’m going to ask you to open your mind to the truth of words and deeds, and of bullying behaviors. Where it happens, when it happens, what causes someone to bully another and why oh why, is it tolerated, acknowledged but not addressed, from the playground to the office building, and everywhere in between.
This could get uncomfortable.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Sunday, August 8, 2010
What do you do anyway?
I have had a lot of people ask me what I do. I know I touched on this briefly in my early post and its vaguely explained in my profile but, I’ll try to give you a little more information.
I work for an small, independent business. Its me. CL Boardman Agency. I have a home office and previously mentioned cpus, telephone line, blah blah blah. I guess the meat of the question is “Huh?”. I’m an independent contractor, fully licensed under the great State of Indiana and the United States Federal Government. I contract specifically to a corporation who serves as a “hub” for other independent contractors. This corporation holds service agreements with many, many top notch companies. I have chosen a contract to provide services to a communications company. A big one.
I am in my office 7 to 10 hours per day. I am a Quality Enhancement Facilitator. I provide this service in two ways. The first, I offer “real time” support to agents that are servicing the communications company. They are the front line, providing customer support/service. Answering questions on billings, features, services. Trouble shooting devices. Sometimes they get stumped, that’s where I come in. I provide support to them through a chat room.
The second way I facilitate quality is by serving as a contact off line to the representatives. They each have expectations to meet...did they provide good service? Answer questions correctly? Provide the right information? Make the changes they said they would make? I monitor calls, score the calls, provide feedback through email using specific forms, or not. I meet with them in a virtual environment and the telephone.
That’s my day. I listen to recorded calls late at night usually because I can concentrate then. I score them, report back to the representative and let them know where they might improve. They are all independent as well so they can take my recommendations or leave it. But, they do have to meet quality so its in their best interest to work with me on the recommendations.
This is my 4th assignment with the corporation I contract through. I have progressed to this point and did not start out in this role. Had to pay some dues and take some lumps on the way here. I may not be done with the progress either. There are other roles within the corporation that can be managed “off site” or “virtually” and I might be interested in one of those one day.
Its been a real blessing to me. I have made some nice “friends” virtually who are also finding themselves in a great situation. The work can be demanding, its sedentary, it can be stressful. Its rewarding and its nice, so nice, to take a break for a second, like we do in every “job”, to get a drink of water and walk through my home, looking at my things, seeing my family pictures on the wall, the dirty dishes in the sink (What????) and yes, out my window.
I work for an small, independent business. Its me. CL Boardman Agency. I have a home office and previously mentioned cpus, telephone line, blah blah blah. I guess the meat of the question is “Huh?”. I’m an independent contractor, fully licensed under the great State of Indiana and the United States Federal Government. I contract specifically to a corporation who serves as a “hub” for other independent contractors. This corporation holds service agreements with many, many top notch companies. I have chosen a contract to provide services to a communications company. A big one.
I am in my office 7 to 10 hours per day. I am a Quality Enhancement Facilitator. I provide this service in two ways. The first, I offer “real time” support to agents that are servicing the communications company. They are the front line, providing customer support/service. Answering questions on billings, features, services. Trouble shooting devices. Sometimes they get stumped, that’s where I come in. I provide support to them through a chat room.
The second way I facilitate quality is by serving as a contact off line to the representatives. They each have expectations to meet...did they provide good service? Answer questions correctly? Provide the right information? Make the changes they said they would make? I monitor calls, score the calls, provide feedback through email using specific forms, or not. I meet with them in a virtual environment and the telephone.
That’s my day. I listen to recorded calls late at night usually because I can concentrate then. I score them, report back to the representative and let them know where they might improve. They are all independent as well so they can take my recommendations or leave it. But, they do have to meet quality so its in their best interest to work with me on the recommendations.
This is my 4th assignment with the corporation I contract through. I have progressed to this point and did not start out in this role. Had to pay some dues and take some lumps on the way here. I may not be done with the progress either. There are other roles within the corporation that can be managed “off site” or “virtually” and I might be interested in one of those one day.
Its been a real blessing to me. I have made some nice “friends” virtually who are also finding themselves in a great situation. The work can be demanding, its sedentary, it can be stressful. Its rewarding and its nice, so nice, to take a break for a second, like we do in every “job”, to get a drink of water and walk through my home, looking at my things, seeing my family pictures on the wall, the dirty dishes in the sink (What????) and yes, out my window.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Alright. I give. I give. In previous posts I have relived my history, admitted I might be getting old as others were deferring to me in the parking lots and grocery stores and generally talked like an older person. Today, I'm ready to just face it. I am old. Chris, my husband of 33 years, is old. WE are old.
My feet swell now. Oh sure, I have had other times in my life where my feet have become swollen...pregnancy related mostly and this is different; and its new. Just swelling of the ol' feet. Sometimes just one. But, usually when its super hot and usually when I let my feet dangle, like for example, while on a stool. I remember one time years ago my older brother Glenn and I were sharing a footstool. He told me "You have pretty, little feet." One of those things that an older brother says that you just carry around with you forever. I don't think he would say that today when they are looking like little round sausages with little link sausages substituting for toes.
The insomnia that comes for some people as they age has been with me for a while. It use to bother me and now, I just roll with it. I do stuff. Sometimes I work, sometimes I watch TV, start a movie, read a book. There's no need for me to let it have any sort of victory here. But, having only two to four hours a sleep in your system is no way to get through a long day. I still want to function, you know?
What's the end result? The rebuttal to insomnia and swelling feet? Ugh. Diet and exercise, my friends. I give. I'll try it. We'll see.
My feet swell now. Oh sure, I have had other times in my life where my feet have become swollen...pregnancy related mostly and this is different; and its new. Just swelling of the ol' feet. Sometimes just one. But, usually when its super hot and usually when I let my feet dangle, like for example, while on a stool. I remember one time years ago my older brother Glenn and I were sharing a footstool. He told me "You have pretty, little feet." One of those things that an older brother says that you just carry around with you forever. I don't think he would say that today when they are looking like little round sausages with little link sausages substituting for toes.
The insomnia that comes for some people as they age has been with me for a while. It use to bother me and now, I just roll with it. I do stuff. Sometimes I work, sometimes I watch TV, start a movie, read a book. There's no need for me to let it have any sort of victory here. But, having only two to four hours a sleep in your system is no way to get through a long day. I still want to function, you know?
What's the end result? The rebuttal to insomnia and swelling feet? Ugh. Diet and exercise, my friends. I give. I'll try it. We'll see.
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