Swingin'

This week my mood is swinging. Less than a swing really, more like a sway. 

Have you ever had one of those weeks? Where it is just off for you?  Can’t rally, can’t wallow.  Don’t really want to call it a low, as its more like a...oh,  I don’t know, when you are walking along and there’s a change in the terrain and you sort of sink for a second.  Like mole runs.  

I have been watching a show in which a character develops Alzheimer’s.  Its so sad and it brought back some personal sadness for me.  The show is kind of dark and gloomy all around, actually.  

I think I need to pop in a Disney movie.  

Cow manure anyone?

Today is one of those gloomy days.  One that makes you think there is no such thing as the sun or bright colors, and draws you to stay snuggled in a big bed with fluffy covers. 

Snap out of it.  

There’s always something to do, even on these gloomy days.  Today, for example, I looked down near the lakeshore to where I have a couple small flower boxes.  I weeded these boxes over the weekend.  I also took advantage of the cooler, sunny day and dumped out the garden cart, cleaned off some tools, emptied a couple of cow manure bags, black dirt bags and the like of the dredges that remained,  laid things out on the lawn to “dry out”.   Inventoried what I had left over,  what I might need to purchase.  Nearly full cow manure bag, full bag of top soil.  That will be enough for some other small projects near the house.  Set those aside, tool caddy empty and shaken out, animal nest of at least two pair of my jersey work gloves thrown out...need new gloves.  Left the garden cart, one of my favorite things, in the sunshine to receive some air and for the dirt clods to dry so I could easily sweep it.

This morning, naturally, I looked down to where my garden cart is left in the field, its sunny spot replaced by a torrent of rain.  I did not want my garden cart to get wet, to become swollen with moisture! I did not want my tools to be strewn about, now near floating as the rain creates puddles in my yard, to become rusty and gross.   I certainly did not want the plastic bag of cow manure, with an ever so small opening, to turn into heavy liquid mush.   Why oh why is it raining again today? 

Find some rubber sandals, tredge down to the lakeside, attempt to empty the cart of standing water, pull it, yank it, through my now soaking yard; would have been much easier yesterday, when it was dry and breezy.  Into the barn, where I have been left no room to roll my cart in and out, but squeeze it in after turning it on its end, banging against my shin only twice.  If I were a cartoon character, and somedays I think I am, I would have one of those bubbles with @#&%#$@ above my drenched head.  

Faced now with the heavily laden cow manure and top soil issue, the assortment of tools, empty pots and what was once  fertilizer granules, I hear thunder and I chuck whatever plan I had brewing for salvaging what I could.   Eh, it will be there tomorrow, having left  big yellow patches in my lawn, but I’ll get my garden cart out and go load that stuff up. 

Stories. Yours, mine, ours.

When I started thinking about a blog a couple years back, there were particular topics rolling around in my noggin’ that I thought I would write about.  Creating a name, thinking about what was important to me, chimed in.  Being able to look out of my window, both at the big picture and my little corner of it came into play.  Then there is the whole looking inward thing, you know, Cindi’s window into Cindi, and ta-daa.  (Did you think it was only about looking out that window?)

As it turns out, some of the topics no longer interest me.  Some of the “fire” of the topics has simply become stale or stupid, to be frank, so I think they would not interest you, either.  Coupled with this is my true desire to be somewhat entertaining.  I like being entertaining. I think of myself as a storyteller, although not accomplished particularly, I love a good story.  I love the retelling of a good story, and hearing a good story.   

I think this is the old lady that I want to become.  The one that gathers all the little children to her feet and tells some great story, that will keep them enraptured for about a half hour.  Some may say I already am this person.  I kept many a kid at least  interested in a particular experience or two along my life’s highway and I really enjoyed it when they would share one of theirs with me.  Usually wasn’t a law breaker - those I think they kept to themselves or shared with friends.  I’m kinda grateful, as if any of them did have something illegal to tell me, well, I would have been heavily burdened on how to move forward, both with them and with their parents!  As it were, it was mainly about romances and relationships, but also just fun, goofy stuff.  

I have some nieces and nephews and I love to hear their stories.   I wish I had more of their time so that I could pull details out and watch them come alive with storytelling.  I love to hear my niece giggle as she sets aside her teenage isolation to become an active participant in family conversation.  I truly enjoy a favorite (should I call one a favorite among several? Well, he is, I can’t help it!) nephew squirm when he realizes he has revealed too much and may have just stepped over a line.  But, he’ll figure it out.  Like his growth spurts, his mouth spurts are unpredictable at times.  He steps in it more often than around it, and it is, right now, part of his charm.  

As kids turn in to young adults, and having had a few bruises and bumps along the way, they often turn reluctant to remember, to share.   Getting their stories out is one of my favorite things.   Talking to strangers is another.  I have learned so much from strangers.   I like to go to museums or displays or flea markets...whatever... and instead of just walking by ask questions and wait for the story.  There are too many that will walk by, nod their head and let the story remain untold.   Adults don’t ask.  It’s funny when we see adults prod little Johnny or Sally to ask questions they themselves really want to know the answer to!  Ask.  That person did not set up that display, or volunteer to work that table so we will all walk by as uninformed after passing as we were upon approaching.  Ask!  Tell!