Watching, and waiting.

I am posting to my blog a little late this week for really no reason other than time got away from me.  Which is crazy to even say out loud, too.  How could that possibly be? I have not left this house all week, but, yet, time got away.

Where did it go this time, this time? When I was younger I could tell you where my time had gotten to, even though now it is a blur.  But, at this age, I find myself on the couch, gazing out the window, watching squirrels dart across the yard, like they do every day.  Yet, I am fascinated by their movements.  Hours could pass, no TV, although I am sure my husband is convinced I watch TV all day long, as I don’t need the noise.  Sometimes music, but I often just forget to turn on the stereo. 

It’s during these times that I think about my kids as children, as babies and toddlers, that I look out in to the yard and imagine them there.  I am so proud of who they are as adults, but, man, I miss them as children sometimes.  I miss those days.

 

I wonder if I taught them enough, played enough, worked enough.  Did I tell them enough about electricity? About water on the bathroom floor and being careful with the blow dryer? About staying out from under trees if there is lightning? About getting off the lake during a storm? Did I teach them about cat litter under your tires or even taking the floor mats out for traction if stuck in snow? Do they know, really know, not to put their tongue on a flagpole in the winter or SUMMER? Ew. It’s NEVER okay.

 

Parenting is joy, pure and simple joy, but, it’s also hard.  I judge myself, I know I do, almost every day, even though my kids are fully grown, functioning adults.  Do my kids know, like some of their friends know, how to change the oil? How to change a flat tire? I don’t think they do.  I don’t think I do, for that matter.  There, there you have it.  Two areas already, in just minutes of thinking about it, that I know I failed.  They can change a lightbulb, though, and change a baby, so there’s that.

 

My kids don’t water ski.  How could we raise them on a lake and they don’t’ know how to water ski? Well, I know it’s because we didn’t have a speed boat during those days.  We had a pontoon boat and they can jump off a pontoon boat like it’s their job.  They can dock a boat, pull it in, tie it up.  They know what food to take out on the boat to spend the day. They just can’t ski.  They also don’t love to canoe…not one of them, but, they can.  Can you? Canoe?

If I had the chance at a do-over, I might do it differently today ~ I might make sure they learn how to water ski.  But, we don't get do-overs. My kids are good citizens, they vote, they watch out for their neighbors and others less fortunate, not one of them is a dud I am happy to report.  We did good, hubs and I. As far as being able to water ski, it’s not a life skill, but it is how I lost an hour sitting on the couch today, watching squirrels dart about the yard, with the lake beyond, waiting.