Starting to adjust.

New traditions.  Is that an oxymoron? Can something be new and become a tradition simultaneously? Coming off a Thanksgiving weekend full of “new” traditions,  I am truly grateful.  I have much for which I am thankful.

  

As I get older and a bit more settled I am finding that my responsiveness to holidays is evolving, too.  Traditions are important, and I enjoy the heck out of them, but what is more important to me is the time together the traditions bring. I no longer have to race and fret, to plan and control, nor shop…oh my word, the shopping.  But, I’m not doing it ALL these days.  Younger women and men have stepped up, stepped in.   It can all happen around me.  I cook, sure.  I help my daughter get the dinner ready and plan the menu, yes.  I do pick up some ingredients here and there.  And, I forget stuff and have to send someone to the store…what of it?

I think Thanksgiving and the 4^th of July are my top two holidays.  I mean, they are neck and neck.  I would mention Halloween but I most just like the decorating. Of course, there is Christmas and I love Christmas.  I’ve got some feelings about Christmas that may be in contrast to what the “holiday” is intended and because of that inner discussion, I don’t put Christmas at the very top of the holiday list…now, anyone out there who needs to hear this, hear this: My ranking Christmas lower has nothing to do with my faith.

 

I am very thankful this year, maybe more so than in previous years, and I’ve tried to put gratitude at the forefront this holiday season.  Along with my focus on making adjustments in 2019, and being really decidedly grateful,  I will share that I am also determined to be more expressive, more in tune and in touch with people and things.  Some things I vow to learn more about are not so pleasant as I witness what is happening around the country, and some of those people, well, not so pleasant either.  One of the things I am most grateful for is my ability, my privilege, my right by golly, to be educated, informed and to be a voice. 

So what do I know about this anyway? Nothing, to be honest.  But, in my need to make adjustments I also vow to educate myself, to learn more, to not avoid or turn my head but to face both some beautiful and some darned ugly issues.  Are there topics you are afraid to approach?  I have some.  You want to hear about racism? I can get in to that with you.  WE can delve in to that together.  You want to talk about women’s rights? Oh, yes, hey…I am here for that.  Shall we explore reasonable gun legislation together? Okay, we can, but, I have to warn you, I am emotional on that one. I am willing, however, to hear your thoughts. 

I am making adjustments in 2019, and it starts from a place of thanksgiving, of true and sincere gratitude, more than just giving words around a table.  It takes a weekend in a hotel with five beautiful, happy, healthy, bouncing and joyous grandchildren to bring me to this place.  I have so much to be grateful for, I really do…and I bet you do, too.

Let’s roll up our sleeves together and do the work. 

Days of love.

After a particularly horrific national event on October 1 of this year I began posting a “days of love” on Facebook. Pretty much without fanfare or announcement,  I wanted only to post reasons for us to love, to feel love, to give love, to just love.  I have posted pictures on my timeline of kids, dogs, nature, my kitchen, coffee cups, crab cakes.  Everything, from minor to major, of love.

 

A few years ago there was this big push, I think because of something Oprah, or one of her guests, said, to keep a gratitude journal.  Before long, there were journals, books, devotional readings all centered around gratitude.   I wonder how many of us are still keeping those journals? Those lists? Are we sufficiently grateful now, ten years or so down the road?  I occasionally see reflections of gratitude posted on social media, mostly around Thanksgiving, but are we no longer thinking of gratitude daily? Or did we train our minds to center on gratitude so well that now we don’t have to be purposeful? Those that went through that exercise and made those lists are caught up, so to speak?

I have a confession.  I didn’t do a gratitude journal or list, or a page a day calendar.  It’s not that I wasn’t grateful at the time, or that I’m not grateful now…it’s more like procrastination on my part or even (I am reluctant here, but transparent) disorganization, apathy, laziness…a possibility of any one or a number of those traits.

I have never been much of a joiner, or a trend/fad follower.  I have been isolated and independent,  a loner, an observer.  May be because of the childhood traveling thing,  but,  I am not the first to volunteer, or contribute…I am a hand sitter.  So while many were expressing their gratitude and seemingly taking pleasure and satisfaction from doing so, I sat on my hands. 

When the attitude of gratitude campaign was underway, we were not on Facebook.  There was no daily sharing of our item of gratitude that day, so it was very much a personal list.  Maybe we spoke it to each other in conversations; we were also encouraged to express our gratitude of a person to him or her, so we shared it to some extent with each other.

I started posting my “days of love” on my Facebook timeline in response to some awful stuff. I post a picture or comment daily on Facebook because I’ve set myself out there as a writer, as someone who shares. For this non-joiner, non-fad follower to share a post of love, to expose my heart and raise my hand …it is a bit of a big deal.  I appreciate, very much, those of you who have sent me messages of support, of encouragement, and even of gratitude. Thank you. 

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Shine light.

I listened as my husband tried to describe some acquaintances to another couple.  I watched him pause as he sought the words he has been newly taught, people first language, in describing one of the family members, wanting to get it right.  I gently said to him “their son” as I realized what he was about to say, the words he was searching his brain for, didn’t even need to be said.  It didn’t matter, really, in the telling of the story. How quickly we need to place a descriptor on someone, a title.  I am not criticizing him here…I know I am guilty of this same thing, and it’s a learning process.  I too often describe someone by their age, or color (forgive me) or, in the case here, their disability (forgive me more).  It seldom, if ever, matters.

I started this post two weeks ago, this paragraph removed from the blog post I was writing, and saved for a future entry.  Today, it seems more appropriate. 

 

Today, I scrolled through my Instagram and Facebook feeds, grateful for the many posts of sweet, smiling kids going back to school, of professional photographs of happy families, chubby, angelic babies.  I even stopped to watch some of those crazy recipe videos.  This morning I needed happy, I needed goodness.  I will take on the news later in my day, but, with my coffee this morning, I needed light. 

I hope you are seeking light today, and finding joy.  It’s a tougher challenge on some days than others, but the joy is there for those who search for it.  For me, I vow anew to start each day with a grateful heart, even if it means scrolling through Instagram and Facebook looking for chubby baby pictures, or a new favorite, kids with horses. Filling myself with light, that I might shine light.  


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