Shine light.

I listened as my husband tried to describe some acquaintances to another couple.  I watched him pause as he sought the words he has been newly taught, people first language, in describing one of the family members, wanting to get it right.  I gently said to him “their son” as I realized what he was about to say, the words he was searching his brain for, didn’t even need to be said.  It didn’t matter, really, in the telling of the story. How quickly we need to place a descriptor on someone, a title.  I am not criticizing him here…I know I am guilty of this same thing, and it’s a learning process.  I too often describe someone by their age, or color (forgive me) or, in the case here, their disability (forgive me more).  It seldom, if ever, matters.

I started this post two weeks ago, this paragraph removed from the blog post I was writing, and saved for a future entry.  Today, it seems more appropriate. 

 

Today, I scrolled through my Instagram and Facebook feeds, grateful for the many posts of sweet, smiling kids going back to school, of professional photographs of happy families, chubby, angelic babies.  I even stopped to watch some of those crazy recipe videos.  This morning I needed happy, I needed goodness.  I will take on the news later in my day, but, with my coffee this morning, I needed light. 

I hope you are seeking light today, and finding joy.  It’s a tougher challenge on some days than others, but the joy is there for those who search for it.  For me, I vow anew to start each day with a grateful heart, even if it means scrolling through Instagram and Facebook looking for chubby baby pictures, or a new favorite, kids with horses. Filling myself with light, that I might shine light.  


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Getting on with it.

I've written a little about getting lost in Facebook, which I do far too often and succumbed to it this morning for more than a few minutes as I finished my cereal and drank coffee.  I like the leisure of it sometimes, you know? But, I have begun watching that little clock in the corner of my desktop screen so I don’t lose hours.  I have much to do today.

It’s a gorgeous day.  I spent a little time yesterday in the garden department at our local Lowe’s and purchased some half price shrubs, which I will get in the ground today.  I have so many places for shrubs that what I purchased won’t even make a dent, but, I must start somewhere and I have to start financially wise.  I wish I could afford a landscaper to come in and just do it all. I do have a bit more “disposable income” these days to make some landscaping purchases, unlike years ago, when raising kids and every extra penny went to gas up the car to drive them to an event or competition.  Those were great days, I wouldn’t change a thing, but I often wonder how we afforded to be on the go ALL the time, and eat at McDonalds more times than I should admit.

Anyway, back to landscaping.  I am beginning with a near blank slate.  As I’ve mentioned, three of the four sides of the house have been pretty disturbed by the recent renovation.  I have a new front porch, which is not quite finished, but is something I have never had.  So, there’s a story there…

In 2006 or so, husband and I began some major renovation to the house.  We replaced all the old plumbing pipes and fixtures, rewired, changed out all new trim and new oak doors inside the house, moved the laundry upstairs and added a pantry in the kitchen.  We took the space that had been the screen porch and turned it into a master bed and bath.  We opened up the roadside wall, created a foyer and installed a new, beautiful wood front door with side lights.  This construction took about 18 months or so, bringing us in to 2008 and the economy started its downward spiral. We had more plans, big plans. We put the brakes on building, and the beautiful front door opened to nothing.  After a few months we put up a temporary deck “landing” in order to be able to use that door, but, it was never quite a porch, and seldom used.

 

Fast forward through that really sucky period of bad economy (especially true for those in the lumber business, such as hubs.) and we were ready to pick up steam and finish some renovation.  Plans were scrapped, new plans were drawn up and that is where we are today.  I have a great new porch, posts (okay, they aren’t finished yet) and dirt that needs to be filled with great plants and shrubs.  The skirting isn’t around the deck, yet, and the lights need to be hung and electrified…but it’s almost a finished porch.

If you see me out and about I may look disheveled, sweaty and my fingers black and gross, but you’ll know why.  The projects are mounting up and the opportunity to tackle them lessens with each drifting leaf that flutters to the ground.  Fall is approaching and I have much to do. 

So, as I have done in the past, I do have a little product recommendation for you.  I will sometimes include a "plug" if I have tried something and love it - little knives, strainers, spatulas.  Could be anything.  Today, this is it.  

https://www.worx.com/20v-air-cordless-leaf-blower-wg545.html

This is my jam.  For cleaning the spider webs from around the door to blowing the little piles of gathering leaves and dirt from the welcome mat, "sweeping" the front steps and even blowing dirt and mulch off the walking stones in the moon garden, or blowing debris out that place between the windshield and hood of my car.  It's not too big and it is powerful enough to do those things I want done quickly, and soon, so I can manage myself.   I became super interested in this when my contractor buddy was using one to blow dirt and bugs out his work area, sawdust and junk off his tools...it's awesome.  

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Nodding my head in the affirmative.

I was introduced to someone recently and she responded with “Oh, you’re the writer!”

Gasp (was that out loud?). Gulp.  “Well, yes, yes I am.”

It’s funny, isn’t it, the way strangers see us?  I’ve had so many titles in my life, just like you…starting with baby on up to old woman.  Student, new kid, worker, boss…lots of stuff. I use all those roles and titles to craft stories, offer insights, tell of experiences, give advice.  It has been said about me that I am an observer, which is true.  Which is different than being one who stares, and that’s another post. Most of the time we may be totally misreading what people think about us, have no clue, really. 

I made a decision, fairly recently, to be more deliberate in my life, with people.  While some may say “be present” or “be in the moment” I try to be more deliberate, maybe even deliberately present or deliberately in the moment.  I want to be understood, I want to understand.  Last year, I vowed to take joy, spread joy.  I am not sure I was always successful, which makes me think I wasn’t always deliberate enough. I don’t want to be vague, I don’t want to be overlooked.

   

I’m doing a bit of a reset, I think.  Planting myself more firmly square in my intention.

 

And with that comes a certain amount of acceptance, so here we go…

Yes, yes, I am the writer. 

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Keep 'em coming, please, bring me all the joys.

Most of you already know family means everything to me.  I realize as I write it that it sounds a bit smug.  I mean, after all, family means everything to you, too, right? I don’t have a corner on the market when it comes to loving family, and family time.  Just want to get that out of the way – I feel you.

 

We share this.  I know.  I don’t write about my love of family to place my experiences above your own, but, rather to strike common ground.  Above all else, our love of family unites us, at least I think so, and that’s why I write, and that’s why you read.  Love you, I do!

Of course, every family’s experiences are unique, as unique as each one of us.  I have much in common with many family members and friends.  But, I also appreciate the unique characteristic of each of those groups and individuals.  I have friends raising their kids and celebrating on the beach, or in the desert, mountains and hills, frozen tundra, forests and woods, and deep, tropical oasis.  Okay, that last one is a stretch.  I don’t think I know anyone in a deep tropical oasis, or under the sea for that matter, but it could happen.  You get my point…we are all doing it different, and all doing it the same.

Probably like most of you this is the same reasoning behind liking and using Facebook.  I mean, it is an easy way to keep in touch, to experience life that is just a bit different than your own.  Maybe even imagine yourself in a new setting or town, what you would do.  A friend of mine who was visiting the east coast last week posted a picture of a buttered lobster roll.  Now this has made me want a buttered lobster roll ever since.  Hubs and I started talking about an east coast getaway in the spring or fall of 2018, I will salivate for a lobster roll until then, I suppose, but I wouldn’t have had that motivation or start making a plan without that picture.  No matter what you think of Facebook it does have its way, doesn’t it, of bringing you something new to think about, and bringing your friends and family just a bit closer.

  

So, I have been one of those who has blocked people, hid advertisements, failed to reply to a message from someone, even declined a friend request or two and, I’ll admit it, I’ll continue to do so.  It’s how you refine what Facebook delivers. On the other hand, I love seeing pictures, families together, I do get some news from Facebook and it is how I find out about sales or places to visit and what the specials are at my favorite little bar and grill.  I post my blog updates on Facebook and I know I have gained some readers this way.
 

I get lost in Facebook, too, and that’s a habit I try to keep at bay.  I also get mad and irritated at the things I see posted there.  I move on.  I don’t take bait, usually, but oh, boy, there are times I want to throw myself in the middle of something.  Try not to, people of mine, try not to.  It won’t get you where you think you want to be…at least, I haven’t seen it work that way yet. But, oh the good, the great, of Facebook. 

Last week, my sister-in-law traveled to the Pacific Northwest with the surviving 8 of her 10 siblings.  I didn’t know them as kids but, wow, what a house that must have been.   I have seen them all together only once or twice over the last 40 (OMG! Seriously? 40?) years.  There are a few pictures posted on Facebook of their “reunion”.  To see them together brought me such a joyful moment, one of those times when my heart truly felt a warmth, a glow.  Without this digital social media thing I don’t know when I would have the opportunity to see them all together again, even in pictures. Thanks for sharing that, guys. Another post this week of a friend celebrating their 50^th wedding anniversary, the joy on her face in her family picture…when she, finally, had them all in one spot, all ready to smile and to gather around her table and to stop for a moment to get that great shot.  These are the joys in life, the joy of family and yes, the joy of Facebook.   

A small and quick review.

Early this morning, when I couldn’t get to sleep and REALLY REALLY did not want to fall prey to the calling of Amazon and it’s thousands of products, I began sorting through pictures.  I recently backed up all my photos on this computer to Google images, because someone mentioned it was a good place to do that, so I did.  I have no opinion on this one way or the other, but, that’s what I did.

 

So I started organizing pictures, particularly the home remodeling pictures.  Now, you have all been so patient with me and my remodeling stories, and kept reading when others may have said “Enough with the remodeling stories already”.  I may have come close to burning you out, but, you stuck with me.  Thank you!

This is not to say we are done.  Oh, heck no.  There are so many more projects, on all four sides of the house, that have yet to be done, but, happily, they are more along the “final touch” projects as well as some pretty serious landscaping here and there.  It’s good, though, and I am glad.

Last night as I went through pictures I realized we have done a tremendous amount of work, and a lot of it was not in the original plan which was something along the lines of "Hey, lets add a screen porch".  It’s hard to think about when you are in the middle of it, but, we took on some major projects.  Luckily for us the bedrooms and the bathrooms didn’t need to be touched so that side of the house was largely uninterrupted except that it became storage central for everything that was coming out of cabinets and rooms.  Of course, now I want to paint those bedrooms…

Anyway, here are just a couple of pictures of the house before and the house as it is today.  We still have to decide on stairs and a railing system for the deck, and skirting under the deck and finishing off the overhangs on both the roadside and the driveway side, but, the structure is there.  It’s been a year.  A satisfying and scary year, with more ahead.  

 Woods side 2016 

Lake side July 2016

Lake side 2017

Woods side 2017

Can't beat it!

That was a week that was, I tell you.  Glorious weather, smiling faces, family visits, celebrations, reminiscing and restoring.  I cannot put into words how wonderful the last few days have been.  Even though I have tried to turn it all around in my head, it still doesn’t seem real.  It certainly doesn't feel like it should be over.  I have really focused on every part of every moment of the last ten days or so, to fully appreciate ALL of it and my heart can only hold so much, and then so much more.  To recap it all would take more than I have in me, really, but some highlights follow…

Our holiday here at the lake started with our granddaughter’s solo visit.  We had each other to ourselves for a few days before the actual July 4^th holiday and she was a dream visitor ~ helpful, agreeable, laughing, somewhat tidy, sleepy, relaxed.  She enjoyed boat rides and “fancy drinks”, ate whenever she wanted and slept around on the couch or the wicker bench on the screened porch, sometimes reading, sometimes just daydreaming.  It was everything.

 

Her mom and dad, aunt and uncle and the rest of the grands started arriving over the weekend and began filling up the house with noise, activity and laughter.  My sons-in-law let me boss them around like a jailhouse guard ~ I snapped orders out like it was my job.  They cleaned, they painted, they walked around with a screw gun or a hammer, hanging stuff wherever I pointed and grunted.  I love those two men, I really do.  When they weren’t busy helping hubs with the chore of the day, they were helping me.

My girls.  They always come ready to work.  Babies to chase, dishes to wash, lunches to prepare…trips to the grocery store (maybe to escape?) and anything else I scowl at them.  I know when I am getting ready for a party or gathering I am not the most patient; those two get me and just jump in. Could not do it without them.

 

The house and yard is about 85% ready for a party like we had over the fourth, and the party the next day, and the next day and the day after that. We hosted and boated, filled the yard with family and friends and had the best times.  The parade, the party, the bonfire and watching fireworks…it was all golden, and like a dream.  Wonderful food, the big bowl of popcorn, incredible family and friends. It was hot, the bugs were largely at bay, the bonfire, the firecrackers…all of it…nothing but joy.

Things got quiet the next day or so and the kids started heading back to their homes.  Following the fourth we kept the two five-year-old grandsons for a couple days.  You never know what you are going to get with a five-year-old away from home, and we were gifted with two of the best ~ loving, well-behaved, obedient to a degree, confident, comfortable…they were such fun.  We boated at a sunset that should be listed in the dictionary as what a sunset is; a sunset boat cruise of all time.  I took them swimming, they laid in the grass and talked big dreams with each other, spent hours on the swings or in the dirt.  They giggled and hugged and fist-bumped their way further into my heart than one would have thought possible.  First cousins and best-friends.  My life is replaying.

Speaking of first-cousin-best-friends, on the night before the 4^th, our nephew proposed to his girlfriend, during another glorious sunset cruise on his festooned pontoon boat, decorated by his sisters and launched from our shore, while we sat on the deck acting like we had no idea it was coming.  Then spied through a zoom lens, as he got down on one knee in front of the stunned love of his life. His friends shot off fireworks from the shore as they passed by.  It was magical for them, and for us, too, as we cheered this young man whom we love so very much.  The middle of our lake became party central as his friends and family, and hers, sped out to their boat on boats of their own and popped champagne corks for the rest of the evening.  It was grand and glorious to see this boy, this man, who has been there for his friends and family time and time again, celebrated and to be the center, the star.  They came through for him and it made me happy to see him toasted, and cheered.

 

We celebrated, oh, how we celebrated, all week.  A beautiful niece, expecting her first child and showing off her baby bump, a dear cousin from out of town and his new bride…little girls discovering what they have in common and pledging to become pen pals.  This week had everything good; missing our son and daughter-in-law our setback.  We remembered those we have lost, and the memories were sometimes hard, but most often wonderful.

Things can start to get rather quiet after the 4th each year, but I know we have more joy coming.  The house will come together a bit more, and there are smaller parties, boat rides, visits and bonfires yet this summer.  We are so very looking forward to it all but, oh boy, these last two weeks will come back to me often as some of the best days…EVER.  

Life at the lake.

Today at the lake, a storm seems to brew and a granddaughter sleeps away the morning.  I am up early and just taking it all in.

 

A couple times a year I like to bring the oldest granddaughter home to the lake for her own special “Camp GiGi”…a few days that it is just her.  She is so wonderfully patient with the younger siblings and cousins during our regular family days, this is a treat for her to be the only one who gets to decide, who doesn’t have to wait on the smaller ones, who isn’t mediating disagreements between little boys…this is her “me” time.

She’s also a huge help as we get ready for the 4^th of July celebration.  Yesterday I was thinking about last year and the big flag we hung up over the plywood that covered our recently removed window, as we prepared for renovation.  Thinking about our old deck, which was torn off on July 6.  Thinking about moving Harry, the walking stick plant, that suffers silently in the wooded area behind the shed now, wondering if he will still recover from the shock of being moved in July.  A year has brought a lot of changes to our house, and we aren’t 100%, yet.

A temporary railing, a bunch of dirt, a change in the deck plan…we may never get done! It gives us something to talk about, however.  This week, we talked all around the “rest of the deck” as we decided to add a lower level, to accommodate the fire pit perhaps, or maybe the grill.   If we were younger, we would indeed be discussing a hot tub, but, it’s just not “us” at this stage of life.  We would rather take a slow cruise on the pontoon, listen to the hum of the motor…enjoy a peaceful evening on the water.  The amazing thing about life on the water is you go out in the boat and look at the same thing over and over, and it never gets old.

I mean, maybe it does get old at some point but it’s got to be only after years and years and years.  I think even small ponds could draw you in every day, in the same way that a view of the ocean can.  A little bench by a small pond, maybe a little pier to sit on, fish or not…have you ever sat in one spot on a big beach, watched waves roll in? It never gets tired.  You might get tired, as it lulls you in to peace – a nap is always a good thing.  The same is true with cruising the lake, watching the water lap up on the sides of the pontoon, looking at the wake behind you, watching over the front as you pass over rocks and plants and sand...mesmerizing. And you can take that cruise every night and it is always the same and never the same.

Welcome to lake living. Glad you are here. 

Oh, and hey, here's a link to my Lake Living facebook page if you haven't already, think about it! 

https://www.facebook.com/cindiswindowlakeliving/