Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Don't miss it.

Not gonna lie, was having a bit of a melancholy week last week.  I think it started with me watching a video, yes, that’s right VHS, of my kids, my mom and dad, my sister…my family.  Some of it was joyful, but, some was just painful as I remembered loss. 

So, I was blue.  Bluer than blue on the day of my birthday, Wednesday.  I had a nice little (*cough*) cry and tried to right my world for the rest of the week and the weekend, but it was difficult. 
Then things started falling into place.  This was the weekend of my mother and father-in-law’s estate auction.  There was lots to look through, people to see and visit with and much to do.  My girls were coming and so was a dear, sweet niece and her husband.  Nothing to do with the auction, but circumstances not so kind were bringing her from Virginia to Indiana, and after years of asking her to visit, she was going to be here. 

My sweet niece, only daughter of my sister and as fun as she can be.  Giggles all the while talking and is so much like her mom in so many ways, and so much not like her in others.  It’s been a few years since I’ve seen her but less since I’ve talked with her, as I try to keep in touch with her, and she with me.  She always tells me she loves me and she always makes me laugh.  She and her husband would be spending the night and my girls were going to try to stay (one did, one was not able to) so they could see her, too.  I made a couple calls and invited my brothers over for dinner.  We were going to celebrate, and so we did. Quickly, in a small batch, but none-the-less meaningful. 
Once again I am reminded of the fragility of relationships.  The fleetingness of life, and family.  But, I am also reminded once again to take joy, to grab on, to hold tight and to be grateful for those opportunities that don’t present themselves often, but when they do, one, two, three GO.

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Art in every day.

As you know, I take a long walk around my yard every morning with my little dog.  Her morning constitutional.  I breathe in so much beauty during this walk.  You would think after walking it nearly every morning I would get tired or bored with it, but I never do.  There is always something new to see, or to think about, during this walk.  I consider it an art stroll in some ways.

Last week we got some great help from our neighbor across the way, on the shed.  He came fully prepared to assist and also offer some tips for making the shed construction go a bit easier.  Oh, he teased a bit as well, knowing I would want Christmas lights at some point.  I could hear hubs grumbling in the back of the shed about electricity and something about cute.  
I walked around a lot when he was here helping.  There is art to being a great neighbor, working together, their banter, even in the tools.  I participated some but this was definitely them being in a zone together…I was an outsider, though not in a bad way.  An observer.  
Art is everywhere and I love to stumble across it.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Lessons of value.

Like a lot of people who learned their financial lessons in 2009 getting out of debt has been a long road for us, as when the economy fell, so did the lumber business.  We suffered some setbacks, we strategized and tightened our belts a lot in the last six years and can now say, phew, glad that’s over.  It kind of screwed with our retirement plan and savings but we will be good, just not quite where we would have liked.  It also taught us a lot about want vs. need and how to budget.  I can honestly say, although not a financial whiz, budgets are important.  You have to know what you have and where it’s going.

That being said, I’m a shopper and a spender.  It’s been tough on me these last few years as I have cut back, and cut back some more.  I stopped working outside the home and cannot shop like I use to, but, I also find myself in my “home uniform” of leggings or yoga pants, t-shirts and a multitude of cardigans that were once used to fight off the chill in the office every day.  I have a couple of “go to” dresses and sweaters or tops for the occasional night out and I’m good with that.  I don’t always like it, but I cook, and I cook well, on a budget. 
Back in the early 2000s for several months, I bought a new bath towel or two every month, to replace the towels we had received as wedding gifts twenty years before.  Since all the kids are grown, these towels have lasted a good long time as they aren’t used like they once were, aren’t in the laundry every other day.  As I folded towels the other day, I began thinking about replacing them…some are stained, some faded, some raveling. Years ago, I would have relegated those to the rag basket and thought nothing of buying a new towel.  Now, I think about it, and delay it until it makes sense.
I am still way over-burdened with things.  I have to search for an empty spot to put my platter away after entertaining because I have so much stuff in the cabinet.  I have to organize my closet again and again, discarding or donating, to make room for my clean laundry.  It is not lost on me how very blessed I am, that I am warm, that I am fed, clothed and have clean water.  I think about it daily and am somewhat embarrassed by my excess at times.
So I will go through my closet again with the changing of seasons and donate gently worn or seldom used items.  I am thankful for our “bad” times, so much gentler than many, many others have had, I know -  our lessons were light compared to horrible situations others found themselves in.  Our lessons taught us how to approach the next decade.  Carefully, diligently and determined. 
These towels are fine.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

One for the books.

Last weekend we hosted our sixth or seventh, maybe eighth, annual chili party for family.  I started this event for purely selfish reasons…

As I have previously mentioned, hubs and I want to present a different view of our lake home.  To make it more open to family and friends, to have more gatherings here, to give people more opportunity to spend time here, on this wonderful piece of property.  It’s been a full summer and we have enjoyed every minute of having both a big gathering or a small get-together, both planned weeks in advance or a last-minute-cause-its-beautiful-out.  
The chili party started several years ago and is a “family only” party (and let me tell you, we are a very inclusive group and this is HARD) for a couple different reasons ~ the first, that we can never count on the weather so it had to be kept down to just family in case we were indoors.  We’ve had an equal number of really beautiful days and seriously rainy and cold days.  This year was rainy and cold. Second, and this remains true, my kids are all a distance ~ the chili party is an opportunity to have a gathering when they spend time with their family, without a theme or parade.  My kids are the only ones that are out of town, you see.  If there isn’t a gathering, they may never see their cousins or aunts and uncles.  Oh, there’s holidays, sure, but those are busy times, and they can’t always make them or there’s a million things to do.   The chili party, gathering just our family, allows my kids to connect with their family and their family with them.  Selfish, yes, I know. 
The Chili Party is a bit of a tradition now, deserving of capitalization.   Everyone tries to make it and my kids love being here with their family.  It focuses us on each other, conversations are between cousins who may not have had time to sit down on the 4th of July, or Labor Day, and talk one on one.  Family secrets and successes are revealed, laughter is shared, little kids get to know one another as family.  Gathering around a fire is always magic, life changing my daughter says. I love the Chili Party, I really do, for all the selfish reasons and the not so selfish ones, too.