Simple fix

I was given a lovely colored glass vase from my son and his girlfriend, made by a local artist neighbor of theirs. I love that vase and could hardly wait to see the sunlight through it as it held a small bouquet of flowers. As soon as the holiday decorations were put away the vase became the go to container for a few bouquets over the last few weeks, all of which I have picked up here or there while out running errands. Flowers have brought color to a long winter, and everyone in the house enjoys seeing the deep purple glass reflect on the shiny oak finish of the dining room table.

I gave up on the “rosey” idea of receiving flowers years ago. Not that I didn’t drop plenty of hints and many descriptions of the kinds of flowers I like. I realized I was wasting an awful lot of time and a dose of emotion waiting on flowers. Its funny how when you are growing up, things just hit you. Why wait for a gift of flowers? If I want flowers, and I have five dollars, I’m getting flowers. I don’t really see it as giving myself a “gift” nor do I have any “loves me, loves me not” attachment to it. I like flowers on the table, that's pretty much what it is. Sometimes we wait for others to do something it is perfectly fine to do ourselves. As a young wife, I waited on flowers. As a young husband, he just didn’t get why, although he did understand he best not drag an iron, a skillet or a vacuum cleaner in and call it a “gift”. As an old wife, if I want flowers, they are on the table. Simple fix.

Rolling.

So, its started. It was barely noticeable at first. About a year ago, a check out person at Kroger called me “honey”. It gave me pause, but I rolled with it. The next week or so, and since then, I’ve had some nice smiles and some more “honey” comments. Alright, that’s friendly. I’m a southerner from years back, I can take a “honey” now and then.

Then, I started to notice a little extra smiling here and there. Some extra “Oh, excuse me” every once in a while. Okay, gee, return to courtesy. That's nice. I'll roll with that, too.

Yesterday, it dawned on me there was more to the change in my co-shopper's behavior after a young woman, coming out of a check out lane, again at Kroger, made an obvious and definite stop and pulled back on her cart. Smiling at me, in a mildly exaggerated manner, she just stood there while I smiled back and moved ahead. As I walked, briskly I might add, with a spring in my step, to my car it hit me! “Oh my word! The huge purse, glasses sliding down my nose, the chicken neck, the disheveled grey hair! She thinks I’m a little old lady!”

At first, I thought I would cry. I do that! I defer to little old ladies! I wait, I motion them on, I help them find their car in the parking lot! OH.MY.WORD.

Then I thought, what the heck...I’ll roll with it.

Have you ever known anyone who is walking around with a little rain cloud over their head? You know the one where it causes it to rain on just them? I have had some bad days and even some not so great weeks and months in my life. I’ve had a my own personal rain cloud at times.

I’ve got a friend who took a nasty tumble and screwed up a knee, an ankle, a foot...but considering the distance she travelled in that short amount of time, and the lack of spring in the concrete floor, we’re celebrating. Her fall was just a shower in what was already a rainy period for her. Remember when that book came out a few years ago and it was later discovered the alleged autobiography was really fiction? My friend's book will read like fiction, maybe even a comedy at times, but will be her truth.

How you handle a rainy day, a rainy month or, as in my friends case, a rainy year, is as individual as you are. There are theories and therapies, medication and meditation, soul searching and self reflection...prayer and plea. Its like a banquet, isn’t it? A little of this, and less of that. A main dish, with some sides.

Let me drive.

Ah, to be flexible.

And no, this is not a post about New Year’s Resolution #39...to get in better shape. I’m talking about turning on a dime, changing the view, changing the mood, changing ideas, changing goals. But, I’m talking about controlled flexibility.

Is that an oxymoron? I looked up a list of oxymorons and there were some favorites listed - easy labor, adult children, harmless lie, head butt. Head butt? Now that made me giggle. But, controlled flexibility didn’t make the list.

I’ll share a story my dad told once after driving home from an extended trip with one of my older brothers. Dad was asleep in the passenger seat and was awakened by the rumble strip noise, you know the one. Terror, right? My brother had also drifted to sleep and drove off the road. Things had to change, and fast. Dad looked over at him and calmly said, “Well, drive us outta this one, son.”

These days sort of remind me of that story. I'm not an economist but it seems like things have been a bit too flexible, and we're working towards some control. Personally, I'm working on controlled flexibility. Flexible enough to change direction, and make a new plan, tweak it when it needs it. But I also want to be controlled enough to work that plan, to get back on track, ready and willing, to drive outta this one.