Revisit.

This winter is already a drag.  Brown and gray, boring and gloomy.  It’s not even truly “winter” yet as we haven’t arrived at that solstice, that magical day on the December calendar and I’m wishing for spring.  I’ve got a long row to hoe as they say. 

Which, gets me to wondering ~ what sayings will be out of fashion in another 10 years? Facetime me? I already talk to kids about something from an old TV show and they look at me, perplexed, smile through mumbled “I have no idea what you are talking about”.  No one is better at this than my 4 year-old grandson, who has a way of saying “I do not know.” that is at once mature and hysterical.  His second best saying is “Sure.” which he provides as a regular response instead of yes.  Spending time with him always reveals a unique side to his character and his curiosity.  He asked me several times over the weekend “Did you know I am not three anymore, but I am four?” Why yes, yes I did.  I was at that Chuck E. Cheese party. 

When my kids were little, my son, who is dark haired and dark eyed and his not quite a brother, slightly younger, blonde and blue eyed cousin were best friends.  My two grandsons are a repeat of this dynamic and I love watching them together, hear them negotiate, even if it does sometimes come to referee responsibilities just like 30 years ago.  I had to pull the “Hey! I just saw Santa looking in the window!” on the younger grandson, who wiped his face, looked surprised and quizzical as to how that could possibly be, but I’m his GiGi so it must be true.  I love that trick.  Although I never felt it as a mother, as his grandmother, I was moved by his sorrowful expression, his wiping his tears with his fat little hands, smearing and sniffling and checking my face to make sure I meant it.  If a grandmother’s heart could melt, that would have done it.   Those boys warm me to my toes, just like 30 years ago.

Now that I have had the time to think about it, I guess this isn’t such a gloomy time.  I have presents to purchase, wrap, bake, cook, stir.  My son and his wife are due in a few days from Seattle and my family will be all in one place for a brief and beautiful time.  There will be laughter and drama, no doubt, acceptance and excitement.  I’ll say something outdated and dumb, causing my daughters to shake their heads.  My grandkids will giggle, run and “tussle”.  My husband will undoubtedly do something wrong in the kitchen. 

This isn’t such a bad time, after all.  The joy of December cannot be found in the color of the ground, when there isn’t snow, or the sky, when there isn’t sun, but there is joy in December, for sure. 

Girls just wanna have fun!

When my daughters were younger, college age, I tried to visit them on the campus of their university to see something musical.  We’ve also been to musical movies over the years.  I enjoy them, hubs doesn’t particularly, and it’s a good excuse to have girls time. 

This past weekend was our time…a trip to Nutcracker in Chicago.  We have been the previous two years as well, but, in Indianapolis.  Once to Butler University and one performed by the same ballet school my little granddaughter attends, which is a developmental school as they have levels up to “pre-professional”.  Last year the Snow Queen was my granddaughter’s teacher, so that was extra special for her to see.  We saw a spectacular performance this weekend at the Auditorium in Chicago, by the Joffrey.  The building alone is priceless and worth seeing, but the dancers? Oh my.  A special part in this performance was, and I hope you are familiar enough with the Nutcracker to recognize this, a small child in a wheelchair was part of the party scene in the beginning.  That little guy was excited and fantastic in his "crowd scene" role. For my daughter, who enjoys working with children with special needs, seeing him included, and keeping time with the music, and truly beaming, was a joy.

My granddaughter is not quite old enough to audition for a role in the Nutcracker in her studio but I think it’s coming soon.  That will likely change the “girls” time to “family” time, as Grandpas, Daddy, brother, uncles, cousins…they will all be invited.  It will be fun; it will be different.  

I won’t be giving up my girl’s time, however.  I will be searching for a new musical, a new play, concert or movie to attend or a new wine bar or restaurant to try.  I cherish these times…they really help us stay connected, gets the girls out of their “normal” roles. We like to dress up a bit and make it a celebration.   I’ve said it before, I love my son, my sons-in-law, and I love being with all of them, any of them…they bring a different energy, however.  Not a bad one, just different.  My girls are wives, sisters, aunts when we are all together.  When it’s just girls, it’s just that.  If my daughter-in-law were in town, she’d be included, too…I love her. 

Be watching for us.  As our family grows there may be more girls to add but for now, me and my two girls, and sometimes the granddaughters, is like heaven to me, and I hope it is for them, too.   

Where u at?

My husband’s aunt passed away earlier this year and left a bit of a hole…she was the lady in the family who sent everyone a birthday card, if she knew your birthday I guess.  Every year, until she passed away this summer, we received birthday cards.   

I started thinking about my nieces and nephews.  I love them each so very much and realized that although I know their birthdays, I have no idea of their kids birthdays.  I think my sister-in-law, who owns most of the nieces and nephews and off spring, has a pretty good idea, but, it wasn’t written down anywhere.  I also thought about the time I was trying to get in touch with a particular family member, nothing major or traumatic, but, did not have their phone number anywhere.  Sometimes, I have the wife, hubs has the husband, but, this information, as far as I knew, was not centralized anywhere.  This presented me with a major mission…collecting everyone’s information, including birthdays, making and sharing a record.  It started with a Facebook post, finished with some nagging at Thanksgiving and now, the list is 99% complete, at least for this side of the family. 

It’s an impressive list.  As I finalized it, entering information on lines of the spreadsheet, watching the count grow, I took a minute to appreciate each individual.  Thought about the little kids, their funny moments, their smarts, their sweet, sweet faces and how each voice sounds.  Thought about the oldest of the “grands”, and her brothers…how they have grown, what a wonderful job their parents have done.  Looked forward to upcoming births, weddings, graduations.  There is much activity in a family of this size and relationship.

The list fell together easily, quickly really, and now it is something I sort of treasure..not because of the dates and the numbers but because of each person, big or little, who is bound to me and represented in each line.  I treasure them, and I like having a list I can go down, take a moment for each name, each entry, and express my gratitude for them.  

I don’t promise to be, all of a sudden, that aunt that remembers everyone’s birthday and sends out cards…I know myself well enough to know I can’t keep that up.  But I sure like knowing I can find you if I need you!

As for my side of the family? Watch out, there's some nagging heading your way. 

 

Working it.

I have written before of Thanksgiving…of how it is my favorite holiday, without the stress or pressure for gifts or events, just turkey and pumpkin pie.  It’s a holiday full of gratitude and since being grateful for my family and my friends is my top priority, I love Thanksgiving as I usually get a pretty strong dose during this week.
 

Wandering around my yard and the neighboring yards (yeah, I’m kind of free range) every morning, I am working on a peaceful heart.  I want to be kinder, gentler.  Last year, I was determined to take joy ~ and I have been doing pretty well, if I do say so myself.  2016 is to be more gentle.  I know there are times this year when I have too easily become riled up, even angry, over small things and big things, maybe even justifiably.  But, it takes so much energy, you know? Coming down from being riled up isn’t as easy as it once was and I don’t want to be that cranky old lady.  You know the one…that’s not for me.  Thing is, there are things that seriously bug me so it’s work for me.  It’s also work for me to not be so outspoken about my irks.

Working on my irks.  At my age, to know I am not yet complete, is humbling and motivating. Sorta. 

For those of you who read this blog, many of whom I do not personally know, comment on this blog and also read my Lake Living facebook page, I am grateful for you.  I appreciate your comments to me, when you see me out and about, and appreciate those you send to me, whether you post publicly or through a private message. 

I hope you celebrate well this season of gratitude.

I think it was in our vows.

I have taken a jump to my Christmas shopping, which is not like me at all.  I usually am out there deciding during that last week.  Especially when it comes to kids pj’s, which is my traditional Christmas Eve gift.  I’ve scaled back and only do the grandkids now because, well, the kids, now all in their 30s (gasp!), don’t grow and their pj’s tend to last forever ~ or nearly.
  

So, this year, I started earlier, even if it is only just putting a name at the top of a list.   I don’t mind the racing around at the last minute and there probably will be some of that still, but…I don’t want to see a grandbaby with the wrong pj’s!

Since I don’t put up a full tree, I did start breaking out a few decorations.  Nothing super huge but starting in one area of the house and kind of working towards the kitchen to both dust some woodwork and decorate a bit before Thanksgiving, because the grandkids will be here.  I don’t know, something has gotten to me this year ~ I need that holiday spirit, I want it.   After a HORRIBLE news week, I’m more determined than ever to spread a little joy, a little Christmas cheer.  I spent time recently with one of my favorite relatives, always enjoying her company and just all around wasting time, but in a very good way.  We poked around in a garden center, which was getting decked out for the holidays, picked up some “must haves” and ate a great cup of soup in the brew pub.   We shared stories of family and expressed our gratitude and love for each and every one.

The actual gifts are a bit harder.  This year I have to admit to being a little clueless all around.  I won’t go the 100% gift card route yet, but, it is getting closer.  I like surprises, though, and I enjoy shopping for just the right thing.  I try to stick to a budget, do okay, and just bite the bullet if I go overboard.  Sometimes I wish I had a shopping genie.  Someone who would like to go, help me with my bags, “ooohhhh”  and “aaaahhh” over every item I stop to review, and allow me the time to make a decision, even if it means going BACK to a store we just left.   As far as hubs, well, he tells me he’ll go but then folds his arms and whistles, obviously not into it.  So much looking over my head while the whistling air ruffles my tresses. 

What happened to just shopping? Just shopping for fun, for a break, for nothing? Remember when we used to all go to the mall for a date? Just shop? Buy nothing but maybe an ice cream cone or a pretzel? Remember the pretzels? So, its settled.  While not totally enjoyable for either of us, I will drag hubs from store to store again this year.  It’s his duty.

Glad that's over!

Hubs has gone beyond this week with keeping up with the leaves around the homestead.  He has worked in the dark, sat at a smoldering fire and gone back and forth over this acreage with a backpack blower that he admits is way heavy and makes his chest vibrate.  This is after his 50+ hours work week.  The guy is amazing with his ability to walk in the door from a long, stressful day, switch roles, change clothes and become Handy Andy in a matter of minutes.  It’s times like these that I do my best comfort food cooking.  I know he loves gravy, loves soup.  I know he loves casseroles and I crank ‘em out nearly every night during leaf raking season.  Nothing fancy here in late October/early November, but it will be warm, saucy and usually with a noodle.   

I don’t rake.  It’s not that I am opposed to raking, I’m not.  But, over the years I have been tending to kids or cooking while the rakes are out and I’m just not very good. I save my yard involvement for landscaping and weeding…which hubs does not get involved with much, unless I need something heavy moved.  I don’t drive the tractor pulling that leafvac thing or hoist the backpack blower.  I admit to being a bit of a sissy when it comes to raking.  My girls rake, as their dad taught them well, and I’m sure my grandkids will rake.  That makes me proud, and slightly ashamed.  The raking is complete so I'm told, and I am glad that he can now move on to football and popcorn on Sunday afternoons...and maybe a chore or two I have been waiting to spring on him. 

We also moved items into the new shed.  We had only small disagreements as to what was going in, what was not.  I gave in to a mower and he agreed to moving Esmerelda from her spot in the woods to enjoy winter in the new shed.  She’s been left out in the elements in previous years and they have been hard on her plaster finish.  My carts, my pots and planters, garden tools, left over mulch…it’s all found a winter home in the shed, along with the cushions and chairs and tubes for water sports.  The shed is solid and while about 90% complete (waiting on a loft and shelving, some other finishing touches) it is certainly near perfect.   

I haven’t started any decorating for the holidays but I am starting to think about it.  We don’t put up a tree any more but a few years ago I discovered securing my ornaments on garland and draping and over the counter and windows. I love the look!  A tree takes up people space and we are short on people space in my little home.  I do have a small tree that has only Santa ornaments, and I stopped buying Santa ornaments a few years ago unless I see something that is just spectacular.   

I still have plans to “make” trees for the woods. I’ll let you know how it goes, but I have some ideas! Now where did hubs get off to...      

Oh, the adventures.

Today in Lake Living...could be an awesome quiet day, like it started this morning, with a walk along the shoreline and a sit on a newly acquired and gently used bench, temporarily set on the porch of the little shed.  This makes for a great sitting spot for the season, and hopefully enough room left in the shed to move it inside in December, although it is filling up fast.   Little dog and I enjoyed about a half hour on the bench and surveyed the yard, recently cleared of leaves but still fallish.  A smoldering leaf fire and three swans taking a morning swim.  Nicely brisk, enough for my black and red flannel jacket from the men’s department, but not chilly enough to pop up the hood.   Yes, the porch of the shed is a great place to start the day, with a cup of coffee and a dog.  Sounds bucolic enough, right?  

I semi-planned my day.  Do I brave senior citizen discount day at the local grocery or do I wait, pulling something out of thin air for dinner this evening?  Should I sweep the deck? What do you think, little dog on the bench beside me? Little dog? Oh, little dog, where did you go? A walk around the shed, whistling. Scanning the yard, calling.  Stinker, I think to myself.  We've been working on "stay by me" as she has disappeared for several minutes a time or two lately, and is not quick to respond to being called.   

Whimper.  Shake.  Jingle of her tag and collar, dust rises from between the boards of the porch floor.  Crum.  Little dog, as she sniffed around, and then under the shed, became wedged within the floor system under the porch.  Can she really get under the shed? Why would she? Note, this is a flaw and should be remedied.  After a few minutes, I sent a message to the dog whisperer I call my sister-in-law.  I may or may not have an emergency…

A bit of coaxing and talk of taking out boards, but not finding the right drill bit to remove the screws, little dog comes out with some gentle pulling on her collar.  A few licks of thanks to the dog whisperer (from the dog, not me) and little dog is at the back door, anxious for her breakfast and a nap.  Me, too.