Starting to adjust.

New traditions.  Is that an oxymoron? Can something be new and become a tradition simultaneously? Coming off a Thanksgiving weekend full of “new” traditions,  I am truly grateful.  I have much for which I am thankful.

  

As I get older and a bit more settled I am finding that my responsiveness to holidays is evolving, too.  Traditions are important, and I enjoy the heck out of them, but what is more important to me is the time together the traditions bring. I no longer have to race and fret, to plan and control, nor shop…oh my word, the shopping.  But, I’m not doing it ALL these days.  Younger women and men have stepped up, stepped in.   It can all happen around me.  I cook, sure.  I help my daughter get the dinner ready and plan the menu, yes.  I do pick up some ingredients here and there.  And, I forget stuff and have to send someone to the store…what of it?

I think Thanksgiving and the 4^th of July are my top two holidays.  I mean, they are neck and neck.  I would mention Halloween but I most just like the decorating. Of course, there is Christmas and I love Christmas.  I’ve got some feelings about Christmas that may be in contrast to what the “holiday” is intended and because of that inner discussion, I don’t put Christmas at the very top of the holiday list…now, anyone out there who needs to hear this, hear this: My ranking Christmas lower has nothing to do with my faith.

 

I am very thankful this year, maybe more so than in previous years, and I’ve tried to put gratitude at the forefront this holiday season.  Along with my focus on making adjustments in 2019, and being really decidedly grateful,  I will share that I am also determined to be more expressive, more in tune and in touch with people and things.  Some things I vow to learn more about are not so pleasant as I witness what is happening around the country, and some of those people, well, not so pleasant either.  One of the things I am most grateful for is my ability, my privilege, my right by golly, to be educated, informed and to be a voice. 

So what do I know about this anyway? Nothing, to be honest.  But, in my need to make adjustments I also vow to educate myself, to learn more, to not avoid or turn my head but to face both some beautiful and some darned ugly issues.  Are there topics you are afraid to approach?  I have some.  You want to hear about racism? I can get in to that with you.  WE can delve in to that together.  You want to talk about women’s rights? Oh, yes, hey…I am here for that.  Shall we explore reasonable gun legislation together? Okay, we can, but, I have to warn you, I am emotional on that one. I am willing, however, to hear your thoughts. 

I am making adjustments in 2019, and it starts from a place of thanksgiving, of true and sincere gratitude, more than just giving words around a table.  It takes a weekend in a hotel with five beautiful, happy, healthy, bouncing and joyous grandchildren to bring me to this place.  I have so much to be grateful for, I really do…and I bet you do, too.

Let’s roll up our sleeves together and do the work. 

Word of the day, of the year.

I took a break from posting on this blog for the past two months.  There were a couple of reasons why, but, mainly we were busy! I determined it best to fix my brain on keeping on task of all the things on my list.  Not that I am busier than other people…I most definitely am not. However, I had a lot on my mind, things I wanted to sort through mentally and physically.

 

Last year, when I wrote at around the end of the 2017, it was about intention, and more specifically to intend to live with joy.  I wrote about choosing a word, if I could choose just one, my word for 2017 was JOY, my word for 2018 was INTENT.

So, now, with the coming and going of my birthday, when I usually think about such things, and the sabbatical I took from posting, in order to sort through some stuff, I find myself again wondering about a word, just one word, that would be my driving thought for 2019, adding to the cloth I weave each day.  (Here’s last years post, if you would care to read again https://cindiswindow.blogspot.com/2017/12/word.html )

So many things have happened in 2018 that cause me to really consider my 2019. First was the big move back “home” this summer of my middle child with her husband and three of our five grandkids.  Having them here, living just around the corner, has been a gift.  We have helped with the kids as she and her husband finished up the sale of their house in Indianapolis.  I have done school pick-up, and dance class, and attended a cross country meet or two.  It has been glorious, as well as has made me miss our son, who moved from Seattle to Los Angeles this year, and our youngest and her family of four even more.

    

The second big change is coming soon…husband’s retirement on December 31.  I am both looking forward to it and am anxious about it.  All the jokes apply.  He is worried about the budget. I am worried about having him here, all day, every day.  I mean, he deserves the rest and relaxation, no doubt or question, but what am I going to do with him all day?  We had a few appointments and “real talks” related to social security and financial planning which took up large parts of a couple weeks.  While I was able to skate through most of those conversations, it was taking its toll on my husband who needs to feel secure in his decisions and some of the suggestions we heard were uncertain for him.  I don’t think he slept at all, to be honest, all through October!

Which brings me to another change.  I retired early and completely back in 2014 or so but recently accepted a contract for working from home part-time.  Too many details to get into here but some of my October busy-ness was preparing for this opportunity.  Setting a schedule, training, trying to get organized…all that was a time burner.  I am just getting all that under some control as its taken a while to warm up the ol’ memory banks and remember how to work like a professional not to mention reclaiming the office space, which is slow going.

Life is all about the twists and turns in our journey, though, and starting each day from where you are.  It’s a hard lesson sometimes, not looking back, not regretting earlier life decisions or wishing you had done something differently. Accepting that, hey, you are here, now, so go-ahead, make the changes and get going.

   

2019, folks…Adjust

Making a list.

There’s been a fair amount of head scratching and pondering going on at the homestead these last couple of weeks as we move into the last quarter of hubs’ full time work and ease into retirement.  There’s been meetings, phone calls, discussions, paperwork, more meetings.  It’s been an education, that is for sure.  I think it is good? It is a bit scary.

So, we have been doing a fair amount of “taking stock” and making lists.  Doing a little “what’s that?” as we go through some boxes in the attic. It’s not been all drudgery…we did make some post retirement travel plans this week, and spent some great family times, caught a Broadway show.  We bought a “new” car and one of these days, we’ll hit the road in it.

I like making plans for the future.  I have always liked looking at my budget, making lists, crossing things off the list.  I am one of “those”.  I have little notebooks for all my wondering mind thoughts, questions and plans.  I think you are either a list maker or not.  Hubs seems to be able to keep everything in his head…I like to see it written down.  And if I can use a highlighter, well, that’s even better. I also like spreadsheets and I am one of those people who fill in my little lines and boxes with color because I am also a color person although to look at my wardrobe you might not think it.  I am a bit heavy in to grey these days.  Except in my spreadsheets.

I am not always known for following the rules.  I have jumped out of the car while in the student pick up lane to run inside rather than wait.  I have had more than 12 items in the express checkout line, snuck in to a private lounge.   Just this morning I had nachos for breakfast.  But, I also try to follow the rules that keep me and mine safe and secure.  Like, wear your seat belt, sit down, arms and legs inside at all times, three meals a day, moisturize and drink lots of water.  And oh yeah, make a retirement spending plan.

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A glimpse.

It is funny how things can creep up on you…wrinkles, grey hair, weight, the changing seasons, sunrise later and later, sunset earlier and earlier.  It’s so slow as to almost be unnoticeable and then all of a sudden you realize it’s dark as you make dinner.  I think of all the beautiful sunrises I have experienced this summer, shocked to be awake so very early as that is definitely not my way.  And now, it’s as if I am waiting on the sun so my day can begin.  It is funny.

Another thing that changes around here quickly is boating to not boating, swimming to not swimming.  We were just discussing when to take the boat out of the water, would the kids want to tube and realized maybe, but there might not be time. Maybe once or twice?  But, it’s been consistently rainy so will they? We usually take the speed boat out first, followed by the pontoon boat a couple weeks later.  There can be some great pontoon evenings into October…especially when there is a low, full moon. Dreamy.

I love going out on the lake at night.  Sometimes the bugs are a bit pesty, but, watching the boat cut through the inky darkness of the water…shining a light into the lake to see into the world below the surface a bit.  Watching people on shore, moving around a bonfire, smelling those same fires…hearing the laughter roll across the water, being a part of it but not being a part of it. Snuggling with a chilly, sleepy grandchild under a blanket as we talk moon and stars, gliding along. Lake life is the best life. 

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A quick check in…

First, I am about 75% with my new commitment to daily moisturizer, but, my skin does feel better.  If you are like me and have been ignoring moisturizer for a while, do it.  I am using an Olay product.  If you are younger than I and don’t moisturize regularly, well, change should be your goal, and remember, don't forget your neck and chest.  You'll thank me in twenty years. 

So, I had a visit with my doctor last week and bemoaned my morning blood sugar readings.  Not alarming, but why always higher than what I think they would be after not eating for 12 hours?  She suggested a bedtime healthy snack and some evening exercise, like a walk or stationary bike.

Not a serious walker but trying to get better and I can’t imagine trying to walk at night, after dinner, when hubs is thinking ice cream, but, we’ll see.  Anyway, I’ll let you know.

We hosted a fun get-together last weekend…charcuterie and wine.  I set up a huge board, covered in parchment, on the island and we just added the contributions as people came in the door with a cheese, or a meat or a jar of nuts or olives. One person brought a large vegetable tray, which was perfect, and another included a curry chicken salad, which we devoured.   We even had figs.  It was fun, it was great food, lots of laughs. I also set up a grilled cheese/quesadilla bar for the kiddos.  We liked it so much we had left over cheese and meats with family the next night, and a grilled cheese bar for grown ups and kids the third night.  We are now on a cheese moratorium for a few days, but, it was a super fun weekend and Monday, with swimming, boating and tubing thrown in. It’s back to school and back to work, and there's been some rainy days to keep things kind of slow and lazy.

 

I’ve been keeping an eye on shadows in the yard, and how the air is starting to feel, and I know the season is winding down. The lake is more quiet and here we are, at Labor Day weekend.  We have a few more days of “summer” but we all know it’s coming.  The memories will be big from this summer. 

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Facing it. Literally.

So, I am facing the truth about getting older.  It happens, better than the alternative, all that aside,my skin has taken a dramatic turn (okay, semi-dramatic). It’s bumpy and scratchy and what the heck?

I think its my fault.  I am not a moisturizer.  I am not even a cleanser.  I have never had a skin care routine and, well, it is beginning to show.  My mom did her routine every night with Ponds Cold Cream, sometimes Noxema, and Oil of Olay which she then progressed to Loreal Night Cream and on to Estee Lauder.   Her skin looked good beyond the time she was no longer able to care for herself, I assume because she had taken care of it for years. So you think I would know better.

   

That is not my truth I’m afraid.  I should have been paying more attention in my 30’s, 40’s and 50’s.  Heck, maybe even my 20’s.  I was a lucky teenager with out many skin problems and well, I just haven’t done a good job at incorporating skin care into my life.  Now it seems like that may be showing on my face.

 

It’s not surprising that I am no good at skin care routines.  I am not good at scheduled stuff it seems…I never had spaghetti every Wednesday, nor Taco Tuesday.  I don’t eat fish on Friday and well, an apple a day skipped me by.  I am not good at taking my blood pressure at home or using a glucometer to monitor my blood sugar, neglect to water my plants and God knows I have not been a successful dieter. Exercise? Forget it.  I sleep late, am rarely on time and well, forget appointments.

Years ago I saw Andie McDowell on the Tonight show and she reported that her mom advised her to moisturize, moisturize, moisturize and not to forget her neck and décolletage and of course, to stay away from the sun.  So, I have tried to teach my girls this important routine, without practicing it myself, and found myself even saying it to my nine-year-old granddaughter this week.  This summer I have spent more time in the sun without sunscreen than ever before and I think my face is showing it.  Is 63 too late to start a serious skin care routine, do you think?

I stopped at Walgreens yesterday and stocked up on a couple Olay products and some cleanser.  I am going to give this a whirl as when I brushed my hand across my cheek over the weekend and it literally dragged across, I thought “Oh heck no…we will not have this”.  So, exfoliate, cleanse, moisturize and protect is my new mantra.  Please tell me I look fabulous next time you see me…I could use a boost. 

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Never too old to dream.

This week one of my dreams is coming true.  One of my adult children, along with her husband and three children, are moving “home” to my town.  She left for college at 18 and never looked back, or so I thought.  She was looking back, however, and a spark for living in her hometown became a flame…and oh, enough with being poetic! I am doing cartwheels over here I am so happy.

All three of my kids left for parts unknown, or Indianapolis, when they were finished with college.  While the oldest didn’t quite finish his education at Indiana University, he didn’t move home, either.  Now living in LA, I only get to see him once or twice a year, three times if I am lucky.  His visits are always welcome, and never long enough. The two girls both married boys from other towns and settled in Indianapolis right out of college.  An absolutely great town, we have enjoyed many wonderful times in Indianapolis, with lots more to come as we love that town, and our youngest, with her adorable family, still lives there.

Many times over the years friends and family have asked “Do you think one of the kids will move home?” and our answer was always “No”.  Both of our sons-in-law, and this daughter, are in technology related fields.  There’s not a lot of their particular kind of work in Northern Indiana, folks.  But, through advancement of “remote” opportunities, both are keeping their current jobs and will be working remotely.

We spent time in Indianapolis this weekend packing up the house they have lived in for twelve years.  It was bittersweet.  Their place served as “home base” for many family events.  We have had great times in their home, on their deck. Even hugely pregnant with her first baby, they opened their home to host wedding events for her younger sister, who married in Indianapolis, ten years ago.  That house on Lincoln Court is special for all of us, for many reasons.  I wish I could tell you how many times my husband has said “I love that deck”.

 

Yesterday was bittersweet for all of us as we packed boxes and loaded the truck.  I was lucky to get to empty the bookshelf of all the photo albums and spent a couple minutes flipping through pages and memories, oh so many memories.  I am so looking forward to what’s ahead…much to do as the house they are moving into is a bit smaller, with less storage, is on a great lot, on the lake she grew up on, a fantastic place to raise their family.  Oh and is less than five minutes from ME!

As my nine-year-old granddaughter said a couple of times on Saturday as she and I packed up her room “This is really happening! I have butterflies!”  Yes, my love, I know the feeling!

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