Garden or Life?

For the past couple of years I have landed on a word or two to help me set some goals for, oh, I don’t know, lets call it carrying on.  Its been joy, its been intention, its been deliberate.  As I watched some birds out the window this morning and bemoaned the fact that the ground is probably too wet to do more planting, I realized I didn’t have a word for 2020.

    

I am sure we all agree that there are a few words fitting for 2020 and not all of them are G rated.  Not all of the words I can think of would project an attitude of positivity.  The thing is, as I look out the window and bemoan…some would call it wallow…I work at my attitude.  It is too wet to plant, but, when the sun comes out a little it will be a great time to weed, for the ground will be soft and the colors will be bright. I will be able to easily identify the weed. I have a kneeling pad, I have gloves and a garbage can.  I have brand new snips and pruners, and I have a trowel.  I am equipped.

Gardening and landscaping take planning, for sure. Audrey Hepburn once said “To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow”.  It takes belief and faith and it takes time. But let’s face it, it also takes action.  Gardening includes tasks, like weeding, because gardens don’t just happen, although I have tried that approach, too, when I just didn’t have the time or inclination.  Lots of metaphors there, isn’t there?

I have the faith and belief, I have equipment and I have time, oh, and I have weeds.  My word for 2020 ~ Action.  Let me take action.

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Things I hope not to forget.

What I have learned so far.

Never be without an extra can of Lysol.

Never be without an extra stick of deodorant.

Never be without an extra package of the paper napkins I prefer…which is Bounty.

Never, ever be without an extra gift for any one or number of my five grands.  One of which had a birthday this week and got a woefully sad gift from his GiGi and PaPa.

Never write off the beauty of breakfast for dinner.

Never underestimate the benefit of a second TV, an office or spare bedroom.  Just saying.

Needs are few. 

Family is everything.

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Ode to Joy

Started stocking up on some plants this week (I had ordered a few by mail only the second time or so I have done that) and my neighbor-niece picked up a few for me while she was out on errands.  I already almost killed those by leaving them out on the step in an “ooops, I forgot the plants” moment when the temps dropped down to near freezing. They may recover IF it warms up soon. I think May 10 is our safe to plant date for 2020.

I told you about the extension of my trail, once known as trail to nowhere and now referred to, occasionally and loosely, as the trail with purpose. I LOVE this addition to our landscape and although it was a lot of work, and still work needed, it is becoming a favorite spot. Except for the poison ivy or poison oak I picked up while ripping out myrtle, hiding in the growth to do its dastardly deed on my arms and ankles.  Now that I know it is there, I look for it and it is discreet, for sure, but its there. Poison Ivy seems to be strong this year as I have seen several people post about it. Devil weed.

This year has turned in to a year of some serious landscape planning. It is nice to have the niece next door as she also is a landscape planner. We talk flowers, shrubs and trees a LOT. We enjoy it and well, she also picked up some poison ivy working in HER beds. So, we share that as well.

The daffodil game has been strong and long this year; the colder temps seem to be keeping them on a nice rotation without everyone blooming at once. There’s a lot to divide and move later to keep this look going.

 

Even with everything that is going on, spring is such a great time of year. Even on days when it is a bit gloomy or cold I walk out onto the porch and take it all in, just sort of survey it. We have a lot of projects, sure, but also a lot of joy. Who doesn’t need a bit of joy?

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Trail to nowhere.

This is tough.  We all are going through it, and well, it is tough.  Not going to dwell here cause we are all having similar thoughts.  4 weeks or so in to it, and it is tough.

Last week I did a thing.  I have had a bit of a trail through the woods side of the house for a couple years.  It leads out past the area I call my moon garden, where the statue my son-in-law made in college usually stands.   I refer to it as my trail to nowhere.  Last week I sat on the steps of the front porch looking out at the trail, thinking about how much mulch I need for it this year and where the heck that would come from, how would it get here and gosh, that’s a lot of mulch. Not a huge fan of dyed mulch, I prefer wood chips from real trees, brown, dirty and probably insect infested, but cheap.  The local recycling center is currently closed and well, not looking likely for a truck load or two of wood chips anytime soon.

 

Naturally, I decided it is the perfect time to expand the trail, to make a loop, to widen the new section a bit and come out parallel to the entrance.  You would no longer have to enter and exit in the same place. Of course, this is a perfect time to tackle this project…when you have absolutely no resources and nothing but time. 

I dug in, I tore out.  I begged hubs to come and help with bigger trees.  You know there were maples galore, some requiring an actual shovel and a strong back, even a chain saw for a couple.  I ripped out myrtle that had long ago been left to grow wild.  It was a solid two days of work and an afternoon here or there of picking away at some little patch of vine or tree. It’s a loop, a start and a finish...it's not long or fancy and I love it. More importantly, the grandkids are going to love it, too, once they can run on it and explore and pretend. I might not run it but I walk it and explore and pretend, imagine, plot and plan, dream.

While it's still a trail that goes nowhere, in the end it finds itself and hey, that’s always a good thing.

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Checking in.

What do you really need?

What do you really want?

What are you able to live without?

The new normal.

 

I admit that I have struggled a bit this week.  I can’t remember the last time I was off my property…which is OK by me, really, its just that I can’t remember.  Since we are now considered “elderly” (which was a shock), I have been playing it very safe.  At least, I think so.  I am so grateful to our neighbors and our daughter for doing their utmost to keep us healthy and watching out for our well-being, getting our groceries and supplies, and including us in their runs for take-out food.

 

When we look back on this time, we will have learned much about ourselves, as individuals, as family and as citizens.  What do we want, need and can live without? I bet most of us have a list starting to develop in our heads already.  Way too much food has been kept and thrown out in this house over the years.  Way too many clothes and “niceties”.  Far too many snacks.  Not enough parties, not enough cook-outs. Not enough Isopropyl Alcohol and Hydrogen Peroxide.  Not enough Lysol spray – I’ll never be caught short again. 

Not enough contact with those I love.  Too many days and weeks go by without an “I love you” or even  “just checking in”.

 

Checking in, guys.  Hope you are well, hope you stay well and I love you.

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Well, hey, everybody!

Yes, yes it really has been a year since I posted on this blog.  That has been intentional by the way, not that I forgot or had nothing to say.  Fact is, I was afraid of what I would say and therefor, thought it best not to have a forum...if you know what I mean. 

That being said, it's a new time, a different time. Very different.  I was thinking this morning, as I was doing some deep breathing exercises,  that I would like to post a little something positive on Facebook and Instagram and well, some of you know that I have been posting my "Days of Love" on a near daily bases for over two years.  That's usually a picture and I keep the comments down to a roar. At least, from me! I love YOUR comments!

Anyway, this morning I found myself thinking a lot about my friends and family, and decided to rejuvenate my blog, to keep in touch, to do a little mental health check with all of you.  It's too easy to disconnect, to feel a little overwhelmed and to shut in..and shut down.  I'm not having it. 

As I have stated in the past, I started this blog to keep my family and friends up to date on what was happening around my lakeside home and to entertain them, and you.  I am still all about that.  I hope to be a place you can come to for a few words of levity and good feels.  Expect to see my dog and my grandchildren and hubs, of course.  You may get tired of the food pics and cocktails with fires in the background but hey, it's what I do and I invite you to come along.  I love you all, near and far, and hope to see you all again soon.  Until then, please join me at my window!

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Just around the corner.

Now, this weather has got to go.  It’s important, I know, to have spring rain…it helps the lake, it helps the flowers and trees, it helps, it helps.  But you should see our driveway and yard.  Things are super muddy around here, like walking in fudge.  But, yes, there will be sun and drying winds.  This is temporary, I know.  

A couple weeks ago I talked about introducing essential oils into some of my daily routines, which I have continued to do although have not improved on incorporating as much as I want to.  I do still love the frankincense and coconut oil I am using on my neck and chest. Working on those imperfections and happy with the results.  A drop of lemon oil in my water every day, several glasses a day, and a mix of lemon, lavender and tea tree oil to spritz on my counters.  Using my diffuser more often and saw a great little recipe for a spring fragrance called Shamrocks.  Tee hee hee.  Love that.

A few years ago I started watching a make-up artist on You Tube.  I liked her because she was fun, funny, impertinent and did not give a care about what people thought.  She entertained me and although I am not into make-up so much, I liked watching her.  I was maybe a little depressed during those days and needed a boost.  I put her right up there with smutty romance novels and the Bravo housewives franchise.  I cannot get enough.  Shocking, right? Is there anyone out there more shallow than me? 

Anyway, when I started watching this young woman, I also started paying attention to some of the products that seemed to pop up in a lot of places but were often very expensive and not something I was going to spend money on, since I am not a make-up person.  However, I was intrigued by one product that seemed to get mentioned a lot.  Tarte Shape Tape.  I do not understand why it is called Shape Tape as it is neither for shaping nor taping.  It’s concealer.  The product reviews were ridonkulous, as they say, and recently I pulled the trigger and ordered some to be sent in a plain brown unmarked envelope to my home.

This stuff is pretty good.  It’s good on wrinkles and discolorations – okay, bags – around my eyes.  I have learned how to blend and smooth and it truly does take a smidgen of this stuff to work.  I use it all around my eyes because I do not use eye shadow but the eyelids aren’t what they use to be, and this stuff really does go on thin and not settle into lines and wrinkles.  It’s good stuff and I recommend, if that matters to you at all.

So I guess what I am getting at with all these new ideas and items is that it’s not too late, I guess ever, to try to improve yourself and your surroundings.  It would be so easy to just accept what I have, what I know, at my age, but, I really do want to be better, look my best healthy self, feel my best healthy self.

    

That being said I had to run an errand yesterday and WOW am I glad I didn’t see any one I know as I did not do my eyes, or my hair, or my wardrobe for that matter.   If you did happen to see me, thanks for ignoring me and sparing me the anguish it would have caused both of us.

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The beginning.

Almost every year we traveled to a tropical location with business associates of my husband.  We were lucky to go to some gorgeous resorts, beautiful locations as an incentive he earned while working along side some great salesmen and their customers.  To have these trips come to an end is the negative of retirement.

   

This year’s trip was to Costa Rica.  Another location I didn’t think I would get to see and the countryside did not disappoint.  We laid pretty low all week as there is a fair amount of “business” that is conducted during these trips although it is all about building relationships more than conducting business.  But, we stepped back and out of the role and just relaxed.  Following our January trip to Key West, I’d say hubs has had a great introduction in to retirement! The people of Costa Rica were sweet and seemingly happy people.  I would not turn down an opportunity to go again.

Since we have returned, spring is making a frustratingly slow entrance.  More snow, frigid cold.  I was hoping we would be a little further in to it by now, to be honest.  We all may remember how antsy I get for getting out in the mud and mire to start my landscaping projects and this year is no exception.  I’m anxious to get started.  My big project this year is going to be landscape lighting along with some foundation planting, so I have begun to research a little, talk style and placement…a little sketching.  This is what I love about early spring; the getting ready.

As for the immediate future, I should take the Christmas arrangement out of the big black pots on the front porch and begin to ready it for a spring transition, as I know it will happen even if slow to start.  I have white lights on a tree up in the woods and over the last week or so the strands have started to burn out so the arrangement of lights is not looking great.  I guess, if it warms up above 20, I’ll see if I can correct that situation. And, the moon garden needs some serious attention. 

 

Oh, and I’ve convinced hubs it would be nice to get a quick spring trip in, so we may be traveling to a warmer location for a few days next month.  I mean, why not?

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Ancient stuff.

One of the “new truths” I have accepted for my life is the aging of my skin.  Not just my face and neck, but all over.  I look down at my legs and gasp, literally gasp.  Who owns that crocodile mess?

A couple years ago I attended an “oil class” and well, you know, I was not super interested but I did like the idea of fragrance diffusing over candles.  Now, I loved my candles here and there, but I could get a cute little diffuser, do some cool fragrances and blends.  So I bought oils every once in a while from a *popular online retailer* and diffused irregularly.

Around this same time I began to feel I was overrun with skin tags and little moles.  Something I held on to from the oil class was frankincense and skin imperfections.  My skin was feeling a bit imperfect to me so I began doing a little independent research on essential oils and the benefits.  I reached out to a couple of people I knew were into oils and asked a ton of questions.  I’ve posted before about my late in life acceptance of moisturizing the face, neck and décolletage.  I mean, its necessary stuff and I have improved my routine and all but preach it to my two daughters.  Now I’m finding the need to expand that a bit to my arms, my legs, the bottoms of my feet, for crying out loud.  

I decided to take a bit of a deeper wade into essential oils and reached out to a young woman I have known since she was in elementary school, and whom I like immensely.  I knew she had started her own health journey, and that is her story to tell, but, I felt like I could count on her research and the outcomes she herself was experiencing.  She obtained a few oils for me, to introduce me to a couple of her favorites, and we spent a morning talking them through.

I really enjoy the oils but I don’t think I have used them to their full benefit yet.  I have applied frankincense to skin issues and see results,  diffused new fragrances, done more research and asked a ton more questions.  I both clean with lemon water and drink it. I wipe down my butcher block counter top with a drop or two of tea tree oil in water and love both the fragrance and the natural disinfecting properties.  I add the same oil to my dishwater when washing up a few dishes or add to the dishwasher.  I am adding an oil routine to my scalp for both dryness and to encourage improved hair health, and I’ll let you know how that goes.  I'll talk to you about what I'm learning and help you get going, too. 

 

Its a little like reaching back to go forward. I am not an oil guru, at least not yet.  I understand that those of us of a certain age, those who have used pine cleaners and bleach, disinfecting wipes, creams and lotions, are a bit tied to "hey, it works good enough" and may be reluctant to find something better, but, there’s science here, and oils are being introduced - or maybe I should say reintroduced - to all area of our lives, as a healthy, natural alternative to almost every choice we make, every day - from how we take care of ourselves and our homes, to how we care for others.  

Don't worry.  I still shave my armpits and eat hamburgers, but I do love a good Patchouli...   

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What's changed?

What’s different? We are in to retirement zone for about a month now.  Its been pretty smooth although hubs and I do step in to the other’s territory a bit. There definitely are some adjustments happening.

   

He is enjoying the spontaneity of it all.  Yesterday, for example, he came out of the basement, which is how he has been starting his day, surveying his belongings in the basement, making a list of what to do next, and said “Want to do something crazy?” Caught completely off guard, I replied “Uh, sure.  What do you have in mind?”  Now, since I have the reputation of being the “crazier” of the two of us, I admit to being a little worried. Was this a challenge? Crazy is my territory, so only step in here if you mean it.

His idea was to drop everything and drive the hour and a half in to Chicago for the day.  A couple of stores to hit, that I have mentioned, and maybe lunch.  Alright, I said, I am more than game, give me 15 minutes, and off we go.

 

Now, hubs has never been big on driving in to Chicago for the day…certainly not on a whim.  Never to shop or browse, so for him, this was on the crazy side.  In the fog and rain so it wasn’t a pretty drive by any means.  It wasn’t totally aimless, he did have an idea of where we would go, but was open to just about anything I suggested.  We arrived, we shopped and we had a quick bite at a downtown spot, and made an uneventful trip back home.  Nothing earth shattering, no events to attend, just a bit of meandering here and there.  It was not the kind of day I would have spent in Chicago with “the girls” or my lady friends which would have included a show and cocktails in a hotel bar perhaps, but it was a good day.

I can take the spontaneity.  I am a bit more likely to jump than he is and we know that about each other.  I know yesterday was for me as much as it was for him to push his boundaries a bit.  After 45 years of structure it is a big change to have so many “free” hours.  We’ll get there.  We have started a list of places to visit, things to see, day trips to full on vacations.  I asked him yesterday if he wanted to go to an antique show in April, that starts on Thursday and would require some driving.  Instead of his usual “We’ll see”. (which, I’ll be honest, has driven me crazy for 40 years) he replied “Yeah, I guess we can do that, huh?”  Yes, yes we can.

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Not right now.

Here we are, at the most frozen, coldest dang day of the winter.  I should be using this time to keep moving, to ward off the chill, to sort, to downsize, laundry, cleaning…but I find myself napping on the couch, watching junk TV, occasionally rolling out from under the furry throw to eat something or refresh my coffee.

 

I have been thinking about spring.  This arctic blast has me in that mood.  I am thinking about plants, and colors.  I get out the journal and start writing down goals for landscaping 2019, write about rock and mulch and clearing brush.  Will those sweet little plants from last year survive this cold?  January and February are meant for thoughts like these..spring cleaning? Well, that’s for spring, and we aren't there yet. 

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Following my own advice.

I haven’t written a blog post in several weeks.  I just was too hesitant, to be honest, as some things have really gotten under my skin lately and I don’t want this blog to ever come across as negative, or  “lecture-y”.  I was afraid my thinking, how I was feeling, would come out in my writing, and that’s a self-imposed no for me.

However, a lot of good has happened around me since Christmas and I hope both my outlook and my inner reflection have improved. Do you ever find yourself in a bit of a funk and it just needs to work itself around? That’s what I was hoping for. As James Brown would say “Get up offa that thing and make yourself feel better”.

Hubs retired, his last work day was December 28th.  The night before his very last day we had a bit of a surprise get together at one of our favorite spots, a local brewery. Almost all of the family was there, we are very lucky to have so many close by, and a couple friends. He was completely surprised and shout out to Maple City Dentistry for being in on the secret and shuffling his scheduled appointment around a bit.

We followed that up with a New Years Eve night out, very unusual for us. I have recently reconnected with an old friend and we ushered in the New Year together, our resolution being not to let thirty years go by again.  We were the oldest folks at Journeyman Distillery that night but we didn’t much care, and we made a quick stop in to the Acorn Theater's NYE party as well, super late and time for it to be over, but we listened to a couple songs from the band. It was a good time.

Following that, we traveled to Key West for a week to celebrate retirement and spend money like we have it.  Key West was terrific. Just the perfect response to retirement in that it caused us to slow down, to relax…to retire, if you will. We made plans, we chucked plans. Key West was a good bridge to what life will be like going forward.  

We have always talked a bit about travel. We are not campers or RV people. Seeing RVs shoved into campgrounds practically on top of each other, and I know that isn’t every park, made me cringe. Anyway, we spent a bit of time talking about how to plan for future trips and get-aways.  Our first step is making independent lists of where we would like to go and then compare those lists and start thinking about how to make it happen.  We want to travel in the US a bit, there are so many great places to see.

Christmas is like a blur, now, in some ways.  Our vacation already a week behind us.  We came home to snow and super frigid temps and now it is suppose to rain all evening.  We also came home to a blood red full moon and a lunar eclipse and that’s hard to beat. 

I follow a casual acquaintance on Instagram and she posts a lot of inspirational quotes.  One really rang true for me this morning as I was finishing this post…

One day or day one.  You decide.

Now, that was a week!

So we are sneaking up on the big holiday and I've had a multitude of special Christmas happenings already.  I mean, it's a good one, 2018, and we aren't even "there" yet!

A quick review of my last few days.  It's been busy and fun, and even though I ended my week with a bit of a virus, I wouldn't trade this week.  First, my husband and his valued crew host a holiday luncheon for their customers each year.  It's always nicely attended and appreciated.  This year, they recognized husband's upcoming retirement, too.  I went, along with our two-year old grandson, who had been charged to me for the day.  Grandbaby was a dream, husband was pleased and humble.  It was a great afternoon. 

Next, our son flew in from California for an extended weekend and we were super happy to have him around for a few days.  He looks good, he seems well and is a survivor of the bumps in his road this year.  Was really good to see him. 

Our family attended our local hospital's annual presentation of "Holiday at the Pops", with the local county symphony, and some special guests, including the children's choir our granddaughter participates in.  It was very, very good and the auditorium, which is also where her mom and dad had their wedding reception, housed a full audience.  It was hard not to think about that wonderful December night sixteen years ago, watching those two very young people, start their lives together, as they watched their lovely daughter. They were proud parents to be sure, and the children's choir was fabulous.  Our youngest daughter and son-in-law and their family had driven up for the evening, so our family was complete.

The next day was our annual family Cookie Sunday.   Again, our whole family in attendance, visiting with their cousins, kids running through the house, babies cooing and drooling...it was another wonderful day.  Much laughter, much food, many, many cookies.  It can be difficult to find the right date for this yearly celebration, but we do our best to get as many of us there as we can.  Its a beautiful thing. 

I became victim to a bit of a virus following Cookie Sunday and had to pass on riding along to return our son to the airport on Tuesday, and spent much of a couple of days supine on the couch, not even watching television.  I spent a lot of the time asleep, and a lot of the time wishing I could get up to do something.  After wrapping five presents and then having to sleep for two hours, I just resolved to pick it back up in a couple days. 

Friday night this week the children's choir has their own concert and we are very much looking forward to it.  The next morning we set off for Indianapolis to see the Nutcracker presented by the Indianapolis School of Ballet.  Our granddaughter gets to sit in the audience this year, and I will admit to being a little sad for that...but then I think about how she is just around the corner from me now, singing in the local children's choir, taking ballet at a new studio and enjoying her lake home.  Its a trade-off, yes, but its a solid trade. 

Forward, ho.

Moving forward to making some adjustments – financially, physically, emotionally, digging deep into things I was pretty sure I “just knew” to be true, clearing away some old habits and thoughts – I started a list.  My list contains areas where I would like adjustments, change, new outlooks, discussions and hey, things to keep.  You already know I am a list person, so a list shouldn’t be surprising, right?

What the list is, however, is evolving.  Living, really.  I make the list in my head, I think about the item I just put on the list and scratch it off or suspend it, or move it to the top I think its so vital and fantastic.  But, because my memory is not as great as it use to be (don’t tell my husband, I can still fool him in to thinking I remember something he does not, or have told him something that I maybe really did forget to mention), I have to write a large percentage of my thoughts down.  Sometimes I am of the mind that if I can’t remember the list, the list isn’t right.  Other times I recognize that the list is to be respected, so give it full attention and, shoot, go ahead and write that on the list.

I have many notebooks and if you read some previous blog posts, you know that I started a bullet journal of sorts earlier this year.  I have narrowed down that process quite a bit…the “experts” in this field would have you journaling all dang day…to just what I found I need.  A calendar, a list of books to read, a travel planner, a habit tracker (sorta) and meals and groceries make up my main pages.  There’s a few others that pop up once in a while, but mostly that’s it.

So for 2019 I am adding a new “favorite” to my planner/journal for areas I want to adjust, and will set some goals in order to meet those adjustments and frankly, I needed to think about how to get there, think about who I am.  Fact is this…I love to talk about things.  I love to discuss things with people I care about, or even people I just met. I like finding common ground.  I like to squint my eyes at them and say “You know?”.  I like learning things, reading up on stuff, discovering something new, on a wide range of topics.

 

You may know that Oprah says “This I know for sure…” Steve Jobs had “One more thing..” Now both of these mantras tie people to each other, or to a common thing and both these folks save this point til the end of their presentation.  Oprah bases hers in the human existence, and is usually near the last page of her magazine.  Jobs was more in the technology of humanity and spoke it at the end of an annual conference, but, they vie to bring us to a common place…connectivity.

 

Connectivity. My first adjustment goal.  I guess, truly, I have been practicing connectivity through this blog for a while.  It’s a little one sided, however, isn’t it?   One of the things I know about myself is I quite enjoy entertaining.  I like small groups,  I like discussions, I like to discover stuff and I like entertaining.  I can bring those things together.  Reach out to me if you think this is something you might be interested in, too.  I know a lot of small groups have what I will call themes…like knitting or bible studies or even homemaking tips and tricks, essential oils classes or  yoga.  I don’t have a theme, not necessarily even seeking a theme.  I enjoy open discussion, open laughter, open hearts and minds.
   

Let me know, and let the adjusting begin. 

Starting to adjust.

New traditions.  Is that an oxymoron? Can something be new and become a tradition simultaneously? Coming off a Thanksgiving weekend full of “new” traditions,  I am truly grateful.  I have much for which I am thankful.

  

As I get older and a bit more settled I am finding that my responsiveness to holidays is evolving, too.  Traditions are important, and I enjoy the heck out of them, but what is more important to me is the time together the traditions bring. I no longer have to race and fret, to plan and control, nor shop…oh my word, the shopping.  But, I’m not doing it ALL these days.  Younger women and men have stepped up, stepped in.   It can all happen around me.  I cook, sure.  I help my daughter get the dinner ready and plan the menu, yes.  I do pick up some ingredients here and there.  And, I forget stuff and have to send someone to the store…what of it?

I think Thanksgiving and the 4^th of July are my top two holidays.  I mean, they are neck and neck.  I would mention Halloween but I most just like the decorating. Of course, there is Christmas and I love Christmas.  I’ve got some feelings about Christmas that may be in contrast to what the “holiday” is intended and because of that inner discussion, I don’t put Christmas at the very top of the holiday list…now, anyone out there who needs to hear this, hear this: My ranking Christmas lower has nothing to do with my faith.

 

I am very thankful this year, maybe more so than in previous years, and I’ve tried to put gratitude at the forefront this holiday season.  Along with my focus on making adjustments in 2019, and being really decidedly grateful,  I will share that I am also determined to be more expressive, more in tune and in touch with people and things.  Some things I vow to learn more about are not so pleasant as I witness what is happening around the country, and some of those people, well, not so pleasant either.  One of the things I am most grateful for is my ability, my privilege, my right by golly, to be educated, informed and to be a voice. 

So what do I know about this anyway? Nothing, to be honest.  But, in my need to make adjustments I also vow to educate myself, to learn more, to not avoid or turn my head but to face both some beautiful and some darned ugly issues.  Are there topics you are afraid to approach?  I have some.  You want to hear about racism? I can get in to that with you.  WE can delve in to that together.  You want to talk about women’s rights? Oh, yes, hey…I am here for that.  Shall we explore reasonable gun legislation together? Okay, we can, but, I have to warn you, I am emotional on that one. I am willing, however, to hear your thoughts. 

I am making adjustments in 2019, and it starts from a place of thanksgiving, of true and sincere gratitude, more than just giving words around a table.  It takes a weekend in a hotel with five beautiful, happy, healthy, bouncing and joyous grandchildren to bring me to this place.  I have so much to be grateful for, I really do…and I bet you do, too.

Let’s roll up our sleeves together and do the work. 

Word of the day, of the year.

I took a break from posting on this blog for the past two months.  There were a couple of reasons why, but, mainly we were busy! I determined it best to fix my brain on keeping on task of all the things on my list.  Not that I am busier than other people…I most definitely am not. However, I had a lot on my mind, things I wanted to sort through mentally and physically.

 

Last year, when I wrote at around the end of the 2017, it was about intention, and more specifically to intend to live with joy.  I wrote about choosing a word, if I could choose just one, my word for 2017 was JOY, my word for 2018 was INTENT.

So, now, with the coming and going of my birthday, when I usually think about such things, and the sabbatical I took from posting, in order to sort through some stuff, I find myself again wondering about a word, just one word, that would be my driving thought for 2019, adding to the cloth I weave each day.  (Here’s last years post, if you would care to read again https://cindiswindow.blogspot.com/2017/12/word.html )

So many things have happened in 2018 that cause me to really consider my 2019. First was the big move back “home” this summer of my middle child with her husband and three of our five grandkids.  Having them here, living just around the corner, has been a gift.  We have helped with the kids as she and her husband finished up the sale of their house in Indianapolis.  I have done school pick-up, and dance class, and attended a cross country meet or two.  It has been glorious, as well as has made me miss our son, who moved from Seattle to Los Angeles this year, and our youngest and her family of four even more.

    

The second big change is coming soon…husband’s retirement on December 31.  I am both looking forward to it and am anxious about it.  All the jokes apply.  He is worried about the budget. I am worried about having him here, all day, every day.  I mean, he deserves the rest and relaxation, no doubt or question, but what am I going to do with him all day?  We had a few appointments and “real talks” related to social security and financial planning which took up large parts of a couple weeks.  While I was able to skate through most of those conversations, it was taking its toll on my husband who needs to feel secure in his decisions and some of the suggestions we heard were uncertain for him.  I don’t think he slept at all, to be honest, all through October!

Which brings me to another change.  I retired early and completely back in 2014 or so but recently accepted a contract for working from home part-time.  Too many details to get into here but some of my October busy-ness was preparing for this opportunity.  Setting a schedule, training, trying to get organized…all that was a time burner.  I am just getting all that under some control as its taken a while to warm up the ol’ memory banks and remember how to work like a professional not to mention reclaiming the office space, which is slow going.

Life is all about the twists and turns in our journey, though, and starting each day from where you are.  It’s a hard lesson sometimes, not looking back, not regretting earlier life decisions or wishing you had done something differently. Accepting that, hey, you are here, now, so go-ahead, make the changes and get going.

   

2019, folks…Adjust

Making a list.

There’s been a fair amount of head scratching and pondering going on at the homestead these last couple of weeks as we move into the last quarter of hubs’ full time work and ease into retirement.  There’s been meetings, phone calls, discussions, paperwork, more meetings.  It’s been an education, that is for sure.  I think it is good? It is a bit scary.

So, we have been doing a fair amount of “taking stock” and making lists.  Doing a little “what’s that?” as we go through some boxes in the attic. It’s not been all drudgery…we did make some post retirement travel plans this week, and spent some great family times, caught a Broadway show.  We bought a “new” car and one of these days, we’ll hit the road in it.

I like making plans for the future.  I have always liked looking at my budget, making lists, crossing things off the list.  I am one of “those”.  I have little notebooks for all my wondering mind thoughts, questions and plans.  I think you are either a list maker or not.  Hubs seems to be able to keep everything in his head…I like to see it written down.  And if I can use a highlighter, well, that’s even better. I also like spreadsheets and I am one of those people who fill in my little lines and boxes with color because I am also a color person although to look at my wardrobe you might not think it.  I am a bit heavy in to grey these days.  Except in my spreadsheets.

I am not always known for following the rules.  I have jumped out of the car while in the student pick up lane to run inside rather than wait.  I have had more than 12 items in the express checkout line, snuck in to a private lounge.   Just this morning I had nachos for breakfast.  But, I also try to follow the rules that keep me and mine safe and secure.  Like, wear your seat belt, sit down, arms and legs inside at all times, three meals a day, moisturize and drink lots of water.  And oh yeah, make a retirement spending plan.

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A glimpse.

It is funny how things can creep up on you…wrinkles, grey hair, weight, the changing seasons, sunrise later and later, sunset earlier and earlier.  It’s so slow as to almost be unnoticeable and then all of a sudden you realize it’s dark as you make dinner.  I think of all the beautiful sunrises I have experienced this summer, shocked to be awake so very early as that is definitely not my way.  And now, it’s as if I am waiting on the sun so my day can begin.  It is funny.

Another thing that changes around here quickly is boating to not boating, swimming to not swimming.  We were just discussing when to take the boat out of the water, would the kids want to tube and realized maybe, but there might not be time. Maybe once or twice?  But, it’s been consistently rainy so will they? We usually take the speed boat out first, followed by the pontoon boat a couple weeks later.  There can be some great pontoon evenings into October…especially when there is a low, full moon. Dreamy.

I love going out on the lake at night.  Sometimes the bugs are a bit pesty, but, watching the boat cut through the inky darkness of the water…shining a light into the lake to see into the world below the surface a bit.  Watching people on shore, moving around a bonfire, smelling those same fires…hearing the laughter roll across the water, being a part of it but not being a part of it. Snuggling with a chilly, sleepy grandchild under a blanket as we talk moon and stars, gliding along. Lake life is the best life. 

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A quick check in…

First, I am about 75% with my new commitment to daily moisturizer, but, my skin does feel better.  If you are like me and have been ignoring moisturizer for a while, do it.  I am using an Olay product.  If you are younger than I and don’t moisturize regularly, well, change should be your goal, and remember, don't forget your neck and chest.  You'll thank me in twenty years. 

So, I had a visit with my doctor last week and bemoaned my morning blood sugar readings.  Not alarming, but why always higher than what I think they would be after not eating for 12 hours?  She suggested a bedtime healthy snack and some evening exercise, like a walk or stationary bike.

Not a serious walker but trying to get better and I can’t imagine trying to walk at night, after dinner, when hubs is thinking ice cream, but, we’ll see.  Anyway, I’ll let you know.

We hosted a fun get-together last weekend…charcuterie and wine.  I set up a huge board, covered in parchment, on the island and we just added the contributions as people came in the door with a cheese, or a meat or a jar of nuts or olives. One person brought a large vegetable tray, which was perfect, and another included a curry chicken salad, which we devoured.   We even had figs.  It was fun, it was great food, lots of laughs. I also set up a grilled cheese/quesadilla bar for the kiddos.  We liked it so much we had left over cheese and meats with family the next night, and a grilled cheese bar for grown ups and kids the third night.  We are now on a cheese moratorium for a few days, but, it was a super fun weekend and Monday, with swimming, boating and tubing thrown in. It’s back to school and back to work, and there's been some rainy days to keep things kind of slow and lazy.

 

I’ve been keeping an eye on shadows in the yard, and how the air is starting to feel, and I know the season is winding down. The lake is more quiet and here we are, at Labor Day weekend.  We have a few more days of “summer” but we all know it’s coming.  The memories will be big from this summer. 

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Facing it. Literally.

So, I am facing the truth about getting older.  It happens, better than the alternative, all that aside,my skin has taken a dramatic turn (okay, semi-dramatic). It’s bumpy and scratchy and what the heck?

I think its my fault.  I am not a moisturizer.  I am not even a cleanser.  I have never had a skin care routine and, well, it is beginning to show.  My mom did her routine every night with Ponds Cold Cream, sometimes Noxema, and Oil of Olay which she then progressed to Loreal Night Cream and on to Estee Lauder.   Her skin looked good beyond the time she was no longer able to care for herself, I assume because she had taken care of it for years. So you think I would know better.

   

That is not my truth I’m afraid.  I should have been paying more attention in my 30’s, 40’s and 50’s.  Heck, maybe even my 20’s.  I was a lucky teenager with out many skin problems and well, I just haven’t done a good job at incorporating skin care into my life.  Now it seems like that may be showing on my face.

 

It’s not surprising that I am no good at skin care routines.  I am not good at scheduled stuff it seems…I never had spaghetti every Wednesday, nor Taco Tuesday.  I don’t eat fish on Friday and well, an apple a day skipped me by.  I am not good at taking my blood pressure at home or using a glucometer to monitor my blood sugar, neglect to water my plants and God knows I have not been a successful dieter. Exercise? Forget it.  I sleep late, am rarely on time and well, forget appointments.

Years ago I saw Andie McDowell on the Tonight show and she reported that her mom advised her to moisturize, moisturize, moisturize and not to forget her neck and décolletage and of course, to stay away from the sun.  So, I have tried to teach my girls this important routine, without practicing it myself, and found myself even saying it to my nine-year-old granddaughter this week.  This summer I have spent more time in the sun without sunscreen than ever before and I think my face is showing it.  Is 63 too late to start a serious skin care routine, do you think?

I stopped at Walgreens yesterday and stocked up on a couple Olay products and some cleanser.  I am going to give this a whirl as when I brushed my hand across my cheek over the weekend and it literally dragged across, I thought “Oh heck no…we will not have this”.  So, exfoliate, cleanse, moisturize and protect is my new mantra.  Please tell me I look fabulous next time you see me…I could use a boost. 

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