Soup to ah, nuts.

I took a week away from posting anything as there was just so much reading to do last week!


I didn’t do any purchasing last week although I certainly could have. Saw so many great deals and pretty things! I still have my list but I am also trying to put aside some money for a trip I hope to make in the late winter/early spring. If that falls into place, well, I’m going to want some spending money.

And, Christmas is coming! I am excited about the holidays! I think we are rushing it a bit in the stores and was disappointed to hear the bell ringer at my local grocery already but, I understand they may need to start their season early. I don’t oppose what they do, just seemed too early.

My family is so~so on pumpkin pie but we always feel like we have to have one at Thanksgiving. I did try a recipe this weekend, although fighting a horrific head cold, for Pumpkin Dump Cake. You can find the recipe I used at Cooks.com - Recipe - Pumpkin Dump Cake if you are interested. It was quite good and you still get the whipped cream…which, let’s be real. I did have to tweak it a bit as I had the wrong size pumpkin and evaporated milk, so had to use a brownie pan rather than 9X13. I know what you are thinking, I like my brownies in a 9X13, too!

Today, I am home with this bit of a head cold and cough as I was yesterday. Seriously, I laid on the couch and watched QVC for hours. If my purse was next to me, and not across the room, I probably would have a smoker, a turkey fryer and new can opener on its way to me right now, not to mention a Smithfield Ham. Husband finally came in and changed it to football ~ the remote was also on the other side of the room ~ and I napped.

I am having Progresso chicken and wild rice soup and here’s something else I have learned. I try to keep just a little cream on hand to add to canned cream soups and the like (not to mention spur of the moment fettuccini alfredo), and like with other sauces, I add a little bouillon to give it more of a home-made flavor. With a little pepper and croutons instead of crackers, this soup was amazing.

A bit of yearly review.

In the town where I work, there’s a shoe repair man. He’s about 80 some years old and all hunched over from years working at his bench. He’s a bit crotchety, too. He reminds me an awful lot of Pinocchio’s dad…what’s his name. Giseppe? Gipetto? Gelato? Anyway, you get the idea.

Last week, I took my clogs to Al to be repaired. The ones with the split right down the center. He braced the seam with a strip of leather from the inside and sewed the seam shut. It’s not the steadiest or straightest sewing I’ve ever seen, but, it saved my clogs for a while longer, I saved myself a few dollars and I was inspired.

I dug an old pair of hubs shoes out of the back of his closet and took those in next. I am happy to report the things have new soles and insoles and look almost new. Thing is, hubs is really hard on his shoes and he needs shoes that are good, solid, comfortable as he is on his feet all day. All day. Man never sits down, I swear. We have been looking for replacement shoes for a while but haven’t found anything he liked as well and of course, they no longer make this style. So, this was a happy solution until we do find the next pair. Now, I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t cheap to do all this repair ~ almost as much as a new pair of shoes. But, we have not put the old ones in the landfill and he’s good for the winter at least.

Something that has started to gnaw at me…the things we throw away and never wonder what will become of that item. One of the things that really bothers me is when I see a big rubber garbage can all torn up for some reason or another and it’s getting thrown out. Now I don’t have a solution, mind you, but it bothers me that the big rubber garbage can is in the landfill. It’s the same reason why I hang on to my T*ware that hubs has melted in the microwave. I can’t stand the idea of them in the landfill for generations. Remember all those diaper pails? Where are they now? I mean, I didn’t keep mine, did you?

In the past I’ve told you that I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions but do a birthday review. I’m going to try to be more deliberate with what I purchase and what I toss out. I have a lot of tossing to do around here but I will try to repurpose before I do. I’m going to be a better citizen of the world, of the universe even…somebody’s got to, so why not me. In fact, why not all of us?

Zombies?

This past weekend was a birthday for me.  I can't accept a year has gone by, to be honest.  It seems like the last few years have really sped through. I've been swept up and although not a person of high impact decisions or weighty directives, I think "if my life seems to be speeding, how do folks who are feel?" I mean,really, some days my toughest decision is if I am wearing jeans to work or the other jeans. 

As my birthday drifts off the calendar for another year and I recap, here's what I know.  I received two grandsons since my last birthday.   That's awesome, isn't it? I went from working part time at a job that I really love, to getting to be there every day.  Some super wonderful people have come in to my life.  I became less introverted and more introspective.  I am also less skeptical, more trusting.  I have had some absolutely fantastic conversations coming off of three or so years of barely speaking to anyone outside of a trusted circle.  I have my days, oh yes, but all in all, I've begun to rebuild trust.  I don't hide.  Not me, not any more. 

That gets me to zombies. I push to do new things, try new places.  This past weekend of my birthday we drove north to visit a couple shops and breweries we heard about over the last year.  Made a full day of it, the weather was beautiful, the color change in full swing.  We got to a destination spot and the town was attempting a record setting, verified, Guinness Book worthy Zombie Walk.  Now, even though I have a night or so every once in a while of not being able to sleep, and hubs gets up too early, I don't think we qualify as zombies.  Families and young people out in force, in full zombie garb and makeup, to be counted and certified for the attempt with numbered wrist bands.  I am not sure they made it as we cleared out before zombies and their offspring, yes, even some little zombies in strollers, over ran the town...but, it was about as organized an event, with live music, that I have ever seen. 

Who knew?

The ever growing list

This past weekend was like many others, like many of you had, too much to do and too little time. I finally got to the “big city” with some time to spend on trying to complete my growing personal shopping list. Here’s a reminder

My list:

• A black pencil skirt 
• A white blouse (no collar!)
• Black boots
• 2 pairs of jeans
• New foundational garments
• New socks

The maybes: 

• Brown boots
• 1 or 2 dresses
• Off white lace shirt
• Good walking/training athletic shoes 

Recent additions: 

• New black clogs
• Grey boots or “booties” 

So, I looked down at my feet the other day and was mortified to see the seam up the center of my right shoe, which I like a lot ~ a pair of black leather clogs ~ had split open! I don’t really know how long I have been walking around with a big ol’ split in my shoe but I was not too pleased. The left one has the start of a split as well. I am bummed. Now, I have worn the heck out of these shoes for the last year, but still.  I need to replace these shoes and pretty soon. 

Since I found myself in the big city with a bit of time on my hands, alone, I decided to go for the foundational garments. Ugh. What a chore. They change styles and fabrics all the time and why? Furthermore, you know you have to try on about a million bras before you find the right size and style for you. Yes, I know they have bra ladies at fine department stores. I was not at one of those. I’m just a tad frugal at times and quite frankly, bra time is one of them. 

  

I trekked into the dressing room with 10 bras at a time, 3 times, 2 stores. I felt beat up. After I conquered bra land, I tackled underwear…panties (for a lot of people, this is not a favorite word for some reason). Why have they stopped making all cotton panties? What was wrong with all cotton panties? I found them to be functional. But, failing at all cotton, I settled on just a few pair of some sort of blend or another by Vanity Fair. They are fine, thank you. They are underwear ~ enough already. I am super glad to have new underwear folks, and if any of my male readers are embarrassed or uncomfortable at this point, I do apologize but seriously, boxers or briefs and that’s it? You have no idea. 

  

I did a quick run through the shoe department at two stores, looking for boots, clogs and whatever else caught my eye. My plan was to head to DSW to check out a big ol’ selection (and where I got my clogs last year) but ran short on time after the tremendous amount of trying on bras I had to suffer. I also looked briefly at dresses in one shop and did a very superficial search for a black pencil skirt, but hated all the material I felt. That’s how I shop…glance over the colors selection, left to right through the entire displays. Zero in on colors and then feel the material. Many, many items do not get pulled from the rack as I don’t like the feel of the material. I stay 100% away from acrylic sweaters…I don’t care how they feel or how great they look on the display ~ their life is limited. No black skirt on this pass. I did see a crazy print skirt that I may have to find online as they did not have my size. 

  

Earlier this year I picked up a little “bohemian” style sleeveless top. Now, I am not into sleeveless so much but did pair this top with a cotton cardigan and really like it. I stopped in to the same store to see if they might have this shirt in other colors, on clearance and in my palette. They did and even though one was not quite in the palette, I bought it. It’s almost in the palette and I already know I like the shirt. So, a bit of overkill, but I have 3 and next summer is not that far off (ha!). I splurged on a red blouse that just screamed to me as I walked by. If you know me, you know I love me some red. Even on sale it was a bit pricey but made well and great material. May push back the white blouse and besides, you know I’m not sold on that idea anyway. We’ll see.

So this shopping trip went pretty well. I like what I bought, although I will go through everything one more time before tearing tags off to wear. While I was in the dressing room with all the undergarments I noticed my pants were at least 1” too long and pooling around my black clogs. How did I not know this? That looks super dumb. I really need a full length mirror.

Ah, the midwest

A few months ago hubs turned 60.  He’s a good 60, I am happy to say.  It’s a big deal but he is not one to like a lot of hoopla.  I wanted to do something pretty special and just around the right time, a coupon offer came across my email that was just the right thing. 

After some schedule changes and some of the family not being able to attend, we made it in to Chicago over the weekend to embark on one of the sight-seeing boats to travel the Chicago River on the architectural tour.

The weather was perfect and the tour the same.  If you get a chance to go, do it.  It’s informative,  fun and entertaining.   The guides are well rehearsed and probably have some theatre background.  Ours, a lovely young woman named Ali, talked the entire 75 minutes.  She was good, and I imagine they all are.   She didn’t break stride as my 3 year old granddaughter performed the Dance of the Seven Veils or something with a scarf belonging to her aunt ~ pretty much at Ali's feet.  I’m sure not all the boat passengers were amused but I also know some of them were charmed, and Ali just kept right on. 

A long walk down Michigan Avenue, some ice cream and a welcome train ride back to Indiana completed our excursion.  We decided not to eat in the city on this trip as we had the grandchildren with us and instead picked up some favorite food to go once we got home and enjoyed the remainder of our day around our own dining room table.   Hubs and I have decided we’re going back to do it again and eat a great meal following the boat ride.  A real date. 

The day that followed brought an impromptu trip to the apple orchard, some great laughs, great pictures and, I hope, great memories.  Get  out there and enjoy it, friends!

Two steps forward.

I really do have more going on in my life than shopping and cooking.  It just seems these are time  munchers.  I spend an awful lot of time thinking about things I need to purchase, or would like to purchase, either for myself or others.  I also spend a fair amount of time thinking about food and what to make for dinner. 

I get frustrated over not having the right thing to wear, or cook ~ recurring themes here in this blog, I know.  I’ve started a list of things that I would like to buy and everyday there is a new item added to the list.  What’s happening now is that there are food preparation items taking the place of clothing! My lists are starting to intermingle…maybe even inbreed! What happens when my underwear hooks up with that omelet pan I’m checking out?

This past week, because I had really whined about doing all the cooking around this place, hubs said he would make a big pot of chili.  I had spent the entire morning planning out the menu for the week and making out the grocery list.  I was happy to turn over a meal.  More than happy.  I thought “Someone has finally heard me! I really don’t want to be the only one!” I was stoked, grateful and sure, gleeful over it. He noticed!

Fast forward to later that day ~ groceries put away, chili is being stirred, ready for serving.  Digging around in the fridge, hubs says “So, were you making these crescent rolls for tonight?”  I laughed and said “Really? When in 35 years have I ever served crescent rolls with chili? That doesn’t even sound good!”

 

He said “When in 35 years have I ever paid attention?”

And, there ya go.

Couple things

I had a very nice conversation with someone this week who I was surprised to hear felt almost exactly like I do about collarless shirts, only for different reasons.  She was a customer in the Gallery Shop and was trying on jewelry.  She explained to me she likes to wear v-necks and boat necks to show off her fabulous collection of necklaces but also because, although petite, she felt like she was wide across the top of her shoulders.  Now, I didn't see that at all but she felt pretty strongly about it so I wasn't going to try to convince her otherwise. 

I did share with her that I also prefer collarless but because I have a short neck.  She said I did and then placed her finger on my upper chest and said "Here's your center.  Yours is a bit lower than mine, so you can wear a slightly deeper V." I just nodded like I knew what she meant. 

I don't.

But I found the conversation really interesting and I especially started to catch on to a little of what she saw that I didn't as I watched while she tried on necklaces of various sizes and lengths.  She knew exactly what she wanted and what would look right.   I asked her what she thought about the basic white shirt.  She replied she didn't know as she's never had one "I think they always mean one of those white button down collared things and I can't wear those." 

I started to question whether I need a white shirt after all and was more confused than ever.  However, I like white.  I think I need white, so I am obtaining white.  You can see a white blouse I am considering here:  http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=72302&vid=1&pid=329636&scid=329636012 

or this one http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=72302&vid=1&pid=251984&scid=251984052

I prefer the second one but am not convinced on the polyester.  These may strike you as more casual than I meant originally and they are.   Part of this process has been to figure out my style, what I feel good in. It just works better with my wardrobe;  I like the looser, "peasant" look but I am not into embroidery too much and I usually don't care for lacey.  Although, there is a blouse in a store that is ALL lace and off white.  I thought it would be a great piece to add to the mix, actually.  It does have a collar however and I haven't even tried it on. 

Part of the whole discovery of who Cindi is has been accepting that I have not always presented Cindi. So I have invested some time in seeking out items on the internet that fit into my style.  I have gone through my closet with a fine tooth comb.  It's a wonder I am able to get dressed at all, really.  As I went through pages and pages of white blouses on site after site, I thought of just getting a dang white, button down collar shirt to point at and say "This is what EVERYone must have, and I have one".  I could take people in to my closet and show them as I'm pretty sure I'd never wear it.

Point is, I have realized at this late, great age that I have shopped for years by what's on the racks and what the "office policy" or more accurately, office politics, said I should wear.  Those days are behind me! It takes a little longer to ferret out what I want, but, I'm getting good at it.  I am comfortable sharing with you who I am and clothes help write my speech.    

I ran outta time!

I have had a busy few days and am a bit behind of where I like to be in my week. That may sound like I am an organized person, but those who know, know I ain’t.


First, there is the shopping thing. I didn’t get to that because I was busy hugging on grandchildren. But, I have returned home and will get to it this weekend.

Secondly, and this is a riot if I do say so myself…I have a Fantasy Football team. It’s silliness really because some of you may know that I swore off the NFL last year. Why, then, do I have a team? It’s a long story but let’s just say family coercion and now I get to watch my son in law lead a bunch of women in the fine art of Fantasy Football. Oh, and hubs. He has a team, too, but is as clueless as I am at this point. Soon, however, he’ll be leaving me in the dust of the chalk line as he gets it far better than I. And its only week one. We did spend well over an hour last night talking strategy and that kind of unexplored thought. While I would love to say I am in the middle, I am in last place.

Finally, we have been busy at work. A First Friday shared with an opening of a new exhibit. Always fun, always energetic. Said goodbye to one of my favorite exhibits yet with the close of the paper and book show. I wish more of you had taken the opportunity to see it, but, I am not in to arm twisting and threats. Just stay tuned as there is always something good.

For now, this is my update.  But, I'll have more in a few days!

A tale of two skirts

So, I have a little confession to make.  You remember I have been going through my closet quite a bit of late and getting rid of things I will never wear again or are just in the wrong color, cut, whatever.  I’ve got a pretty nice closet.  Generous in size and not so bad in shoe space and overhead storage.  I like it.  We put wire shelves in and they curve around the corners.  Convenient.  Clothes just slide right on around those corners on plastic hangers but they can get a little bunched up there if you aren’t paying attention.

In one of those corners, on two hangers, I discovered two skirts I have never worn.  I bet I bought these two skirts 7 years ago.  One is denim and one is khaki.  I like them.  I have no idea if people wear denim skirts or not, and I don’t really care.  I will wear this one.  I see myself in it already and know where I’ll be going and maybe even what I’ll be thinking.  The khaki one, too, although it’s a bit harder imagining the accessories I’ll wear with the khaki. 

I’m not going to get in to why I never wore these skirts; it’d be a long, difficult and boring story ~ a story I rise above.  Just trust me when I say, I was unable to wear them at a point in my life. 

So, the discovery of these two skirts changes things just a bit.  I don’t feel pressure to find the pencil skirt of my dreams so much as I have this denim skirt.  I am more compelled to look for the perfect boots.  Did you know I’m going to buy boots? Yes I am.  I can’t decide between black or brown and I may even get both! I know I need the black pencil skirt; I’ll keep looking, but I am serious about boots, people. (I just realized they need to be black so I can wear them with the black pencil skirt)

Here’s something else on my list.  A red wool blazer/jacket coat thing.  Not a dressy blazer and not really a coat.  I have it in my head. I know precisely what I want.  I will wear it with my denim skirt, I swear I will.  And my boots. 

One more thing I learned this week is I needed to rethink the white blouse.  I had in my head that my white blouse was suppose to be a collared blouse with long sleeves and cuffs.  You know, a white blouse.  It dawned on me this week that the white blouse I need does not have a collar! Remember how I reported I accept my short neck? Why would I try to wear a collar? The reason why the white blouse of my past is uncomfortably stiff is because it had a stinkin’ collar! This came to me in one of those cloud opening, sun beam radiating, angel singing, kind of moments.  And Nicole Richey on QVC. But, I know what kind of white blouse to look for now and I bet I find it within a week.

Pencil shmencil

After thinking about the perfect white shirt, I decided to switch it up a bit and begin my shopping for the perfect black pencil skirt online.  I wanted to know if it could be accomplished from the comfort of my own home, as “they” say. 

I first went to a major shopping site, thefind.com, which tells at what online store you may locate a particular item.  You can filter it down once you have your first category, which for me was black pencil skirt. 

Of course, I got several thousand results.  On first glance, it looked promising.  Of course I quickly realized that my definition of pencil skirt and some designer’s definition are worlds apart.  What is with going in at the knees? Does anyone really feel like that’s a good look? Okay, maybe the Kardashian sisters but seriously.  I saw right off the bat that about 50% of the skirts could easily be eliminated. 

On to the next criteria.  Price.  There is a filter for price and even though I did say I was not going to buy cheap, I was also probably NOT going to buy the $355 version of the black pencil skirt by Versace.  I entered the filter $9 to $99 and eliminated thousands of options. 

Even though my search was “black pencil skirt” I got hits of all sorts of black…black and white, black and multi, black dot, even grey.  I selected the filter “use color” and chose “black”.  This filter also removed many stores.   I still got some black and white patterns but the results were more what I was seeking, with some patterns thrown in.  I also got vinyl and latex.  Goodness. 

I changed my low number up to $29 as I was getting some super garbage stuff and things for juniors.   Finally, I sorted the list from high to low.  While I prefer looking more on the $29 end than the $99 end, I want to see some quality things as well.  Sometimes there are sales, shipping deals, coupons or online specials that make that $99 skirt more appealing. 

Now it starts getting tricky.  One site posts the same skirt over and over by size.  Another skirt appears on several sites.  But I have gone from 22 pages of results to 5. 

Not surprising the best options appeared at around $80 and at Nordstroms, Black House White Market, Banana Republic and a Calvin Klein skirt at Zappos.  The site that posted the skirt in every size, Bon Ton, has a Chaus skirt at $59 that looks good.  In a little lower end JC Penney popped up with a Worthington version and Kohl’s, a black pinstripe by Dana Buchman at just under $40.  Those are probably both great options if the material is good, the lining is right and the shape will hold.  I’m noticing a lot of “ponte” knit, and I’ll be honest, I have no idea what that is.  I’ll find out though.

I know enough to know that I will have to try on versions of the pencil skirt  to find one best suited for me.  I wish I could just order online and many of you can.  As I plan a big city trip soon, I’ll take these suggestions and brands to shop a bit.  I plan to look white shirt then as well.  Gee, two items.  Oh, I almost forgot,  I will be ordering a skirt from JC Penney that is more of an A-line than pencil.  They offer it in both black and grey.  We’ll see.

On other business, I got my “reconciliation tax bill” last week, as did many of you.  On my list today is to visit the courthouse, because, seriously, they must be joking.

Fall/Winter Shopping Challenge

So everything I read about what should be in your wardrobe includes a basic white shirt.  I have been on this search for about a year now.  I have seen shirts, many of them, but they are never quite right.  I have a short waist, I have a stumpy neck and the basic white shirt is not tailored for my particular build. 

The design is one drawback but there’s the material as well.  I have yet to find material that isn’t so stiff it’s like putting on cardboard or so soft it won’t hold its shape.   In my head, I see the very shirt I need but I have yet to see it for purchase.   That’s my big search this fall/winter…the basic white shirt. 

Another item that appears on the list regularly, no matter the author of the “expert’s advice” is a black pencil skirt.  Well, now, for many of the same reasons above, the black pencil skirt for this round and short body type is elusive.    I am not a pencil. 

I met a lady last week who was wearing a full, swingy, batik printed, silky skirt.  She was much taller than me, not thin and close to my age.  The skirt swished and swayed as she walked.  I commented on how nicely the skirt moved.  She replied that it was one of her favorite things and has had it for years and years.  I said “I understand, looking at your skirt, what they mean by the perfect length…that skirt is the perfect length for you.” She smiled and said “I had it hemmed”.  It hit her exactly at the knee.

I began to think about the skirts in my closet that I sometimes wear.  They are all..even a black skirt I wear often…too long.  Way too long.  I can think of three skirts right now I am going to have hemmed.  It will take inches and inches off the skirts so in some cases I think they actually have to be tailored from the waist in order to preserve the shape of the skirt.  It’s complicated.  But, I realized that items that made it into the donation box as “the wardrobe that didn’t work”  was not always based on color.   I also had lots of things of the wrong length.  It’s not even about shopping in the petite section by the way, in case my tall friends are wondering ~ totally different.

So I have started my list for the Fall Shopping Challenge ~ the soft but structured basic white shirt, the perfect black pencil skirt, which will take some alteration.   (I may have to just scrap the existing items and replace them with items that can be more easily altered, but I really like the material!) That’s already a big order and sounds like a long, long Saturday.

No printed sweatshirts, please.

Last year I posted that I was only going to buy clothes in specific color groups.  I can report that I have stuck very close to that plan.  Of course this was possible only because I bought virtually nothing in the last 12 months but still, I accomplished what I said I would. Go me!

When I say I have bought virtually nothing I guess I mean, nothing controversial.  Nothing too far off center.  Oh, I've been tempted but my answer to temptation in this arena is to just not go shopping. I am too pulled by the sale racks, the new arrivals and the picked overs.  The dregs.  This was my weakness when assembling the wardrobe that didn't work.  The wardrobe that was given over to charity. 

Since I was working from home, my wardrobe didn't matter a whole lot.  I got some great basics and did my work in comfy pants and loose shirts and sweaters.  This was dangerous, folks.  The pants got more comfy and the loose shirts more loosey.  We will not talk about "foundational pieces" as they were non-existent ~ gotta love the tank top.

I then started working at the art center and needed a quick and cheap update to my wardrobe.  Fortunately I did have a few things I hung on to from the donation box but, I was still lacking.  I bought jeans, and then I bought jeans again and again.  I bought a few sweaters; I started working right at season change ~ bonus.  I bought a practical pair of shoes.  I bought in my "palette" with little waivering. 

The problem now is that it has been a year.  I look in the closet and find only those things I have worn to death and not much else. To be honest, I bought things kinda cheap and well, those things don't look great after a year of washing and wearing. What we should all know about cheap material is, well, it looks cheap.  It pills, it shrinks and it wrinkles. Sometimes, though, that's all we can do. 

I am going to be replacing a few items this year with some better quality things.  New jeans, at least three pair, and maybe a pair of black dress pants. Maybe.  New shoes but still practical.  I have already started the quest for new "foundation garments" and will post about those experiences later.  All I can say now is, pack a lunch.

In case you don't know, my palette is grey, red, turquoise and off-white or ivory; I have a ton of black and that's okay.   I did pick up a top last year in rust, and also one in a bright royal blue, which I bought for a specific event.   I do have a brown skirt and some tan dressier pants that are my stand by when I can't find anything else to wear.  I know those pants are going to pull together nicely with a top or two because, well, they have sort of a turqouise pinstripe.   It is nice to be able to pull a couple things out of the mix and put them together which, I gotta say, is much easier if you have shopped from a palette and not a clearance rack!   

I like it!

Alright. You know I really love the Olympics, right? Summer and Winter.  I just really like them a lot.  I like watching a sport I know nothing about and rooting for the players. 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the things I like that I have no explanation for ~ like the Olympics.  Like, Good n’ Plenty candy.  It’s not even that great but I really like it and I also REALLY like Snaps and,   lets face it, that seriously is not great stuff.

I also like cleaning at night.  Sometimes in my nightgown.  Now this is weird only because I really don’t like cleaning.  I like drinking out of glass, not plastic.  But, I will drink out of plastic if it’s the right kind, which I can’t even begin to describe. 

I use to really like reading but I am not that big of a fan anymore.  I don’t really know why and maybe someday I’ll get back to it.  We’ll see.  It seems to be one of the things that I simply have lost interest in, like cooking has been.  I’ve sort of reconciled with cooking, however, so there is hope for reading.

I’ve been known to say I don’t like cooking but I’ve recently realized I don’t like not knowing what to cook.  I don’t like deciding what to cook.  When I know, I actually do enjoy it somewhat and I’m pretty good as well.  Sometimes you may think you aren’t  any good at something but you get compliments and think “Oh, hm, maybe…” .  That’s how it is with me and cooking.  I should really just say “Why, thank you” and not “Oh, it could have been such and such” or “I should have done so and so”.   That, I acknowledge, is boring.  I don’t wish to be boring.      

Right now I am really into cooking multiple dishes out of one big ol’ portion of some meat or poultry.  I’m obsessed with it.  Buying a roast and thinking of the many dishes I could make out of the roast once it has been prepared for the first meal…the Sunday roast meal.  I have become the queen of the mid-week burrito ~ whether its beef, pork or chicken.  Even beans and rice! I am the queen.   

You may see me at the store  buying a huge pork or beef roast.  Oh my gosh, when that pork is on sale I could squeal. 

I’m lucky to be married to a guy that appreciates a good leftover and a budget. 

A week and a half

So, it’s been a week and a half.  I mean that literally and figuratively.  A bit over a week since hearing of a young woman’s life coming to a tragic end, three young girls injured in body and spirit. 

A week and a half since having a broken heart for a young man I have known since he was an infant.  Of sharing a mother’s heart, and a grandmother’s heart,  with women I adore.  A week and a half since I had an unquenchable thirst to hear my own children’s voices and those of my grandbabies. 

Many of you share this with me and understand.  Let us stay strong, let us stay true and let us stay in support as these amazing little girls show us the way.  Lead us little ladies. 

The T word

I promise I am going to throw out all my current plastic storage containers.  You know what I'm talking about...the T word.  I will, I swear, I will.  I have had a very well stocked cabinet of these containers for years.  You can't help but have them for years.  You get to a point where they start looking very sad.  I am to that point.

Hubs has always taken leftovers for lunch.  It's a great thing but the man does not know the meaning of dump it out on a paper plate to heat it up in the microwave, please, not in the plastic storage container.   He has also never fully grasped the concept of microwaves heat food from the inside out...so, heat it a LITTLE bit and then allow it to heat from the inside.  Stir, check it and maybe heat again.  No.  To him, microwave has always meant two minutes. Doesn't matter what or how much, its two minutes. 

You can imagine what my plastic storage containers look like.  I would like to get new plastic storage containers but I am not sure I can until he retires.   I am trying not to be angry over the condition of my prized plastic storage containers but quite frankly, I am sort of ticked off.  I would like to pull out a container and lid and not have that bubbled, crinkled ring of melted plastic around the inside. 

I have mostly matched lids and containers but every once in a while they get separated.   About a month ago, as I was putting away groceries,  I started to look for the lid for a small yellow pitcher. It's where I keep sunflower seeds for sprinkling onto salads.  I always have it.  ALWAYS.  I could not find it and where in the world could it be? It had sunflower seeds in it last week, in the fridge so why now is it not with the pitcher? I tore through the cabinet of lids and containers, I may have grumbled.  Dang it.  Who did something with my lid?  I asked around the house and my tone may have been slightly accusatory. 

Fine.  Just fine.  I will put the sunflower seeds in this OTHER small pitcher, which is totally wrong for sunflower seeds, but since someone has lost the lid to the yellow pitcher which should be right here, I'll use it.

Here's the problem.  I haven't seen that yellow pitcher with its lid in forever and a day.  The sunflower seeds really go in the smaller clear pitcher with a different yellow lid that is still in the fridge with just a few seeds in it.  They never were in the yellow pitcher...that's too big.    

Ooops. 

The year of the challenge.

Some time ago, I issued a challenge to myself. Decided that I wanted to keep things moving. You know, try new things, go to new places, see more, do more and not say no to so much. Life is for living.



For several years, hubs employer has held a family night at Coveleski Stadium in South Bend. It has been around the fourth of July every year so there are fireworks. Fireworks in South Bend, Indiana are pretty neat and I think back to a night of fireworks when I was in the back seat of my friend’s red Firebird convertible. Fireworks were overhead, it was a spectacularly clear and warm night. I can’t remember why we were in South Bend but I am sure glad I had that experience.


But, back to hubs employer’s family nights at the ball game. These family nights were not all that much fun to me. I know people put a lot of effort and work toward them but I was more than blasé about them. I was bored. Way bored. Somewhere in the last year or so I have recognized that my boring experiences are my fault. Say what? Yes, my fault. Time to get over myself and so the challenge was issued. Along with the do more, see more was the ENJOY more.


I had a great time at the ball game last Friday night. I have no idea who played. South Bend I suppose, but other than that I couldn’t tell you. I ran in to an acquaintance from MY work. She was as surprised to see me as I was her, and we had a fun few minutes of conversation as she went off to her husband’s company area and I went off to mine. Serendipitous.


I spoke at length to a woman I admire greatly for her tenacity and strength in battling, and successfully thus far, cancer. I also talked with her lovely daughter and friendly, smiling husband, discovered we also had some connections. I was entertained by their young child who had his grandparents in the palm of his hand. A feeling I understand all too well. Two years ago, I would not have approached their table. I would have either thought them too busy, too far removed in some way, to be approached. In their own clique. (Seriously, had a problem with it. Am I in middle school?) But, this year, the year of the challenge, I said “Screw it. I’m gonna go see how she’s doing!” That’s right. I said screw it. Spent way more time catching up with her than I would have guessed, enjoyed laughing and remembering some previous events we shared, including some tremendous travel opportunities, and left their sitting area with her saying to me “Thanks for coming over! It’s great seeing you!” I so enjoyed it. But, I have no idea who played or won the ballgame. Ooops.


The year of the challenge. It didn’t start at the first of the year, not at all a resolution,  but more towards my birthday, when, if you recall, I like to take stock. See where I’m at. I like where I’ve been but I really look forward to where I’m going! More to come, more to see, more to try and yes, much more to enjoy.

Share with me

I have never considered myself a feminist.  At least, I don't think so.  Maybe. A closet feminist, perhaps.  Not extreme mind you, I don't think of myself as extreme in any one direction on any one topic. I hope I consider sides, listen, ponder.   I hope I ask questions that provoke, help open up, go deeper.  Now I realize that not everyone enjoys this...I have been dismissed on many occasions.  Many. 


There is an exhibit at the art center where I work which has struck a chord.  The artist is definitely feminist.  We have two installations of her work and she has also submitted, as is requested of all the artists, a statement.    You'd have to see it to truly understand and read her statement but to summarize it speaks about the spaces between words.  What is said versus what is left unsaid.  


I wish we weren't so uncomfortable in sharing our thoughts and feelings.  I know we have to develop a sense of trust ~ remember me? The one with trust issues? I get it.  There has to be groundwork for sure,  but I wish we really had the ability to hear each other's feelings and not try to convince or sway or move one another to a different feeling.  To accept that feeling as legitimate, real.  I don't tell you things, you don't tell me.  I may tell you what you want to hear. I may tell you what is "safe".   You may tell me what you are suppose to say, taught to say.   


As many of you know, my history is filled with twists and turns to get me here ~ but, it is also the space between that has brought me here.  Just like you.  

Kentucky revisited

My older brother has a lakeside "cabin".  It's an escape really.  Now, a lot of people would say, but you LIVE on a lake.  Yes, I do and I am forever grateful for my little home.  Being at Barkley Lake is much different.  First, there is my sister-in-law, who never sits down.  My brother, who never stops.  The opportunity to see my niece and her beautiful, sweet trio of daughters.  But, as I have posted before, its the no cell phone, no work worries, no stress of the day that makes it possible to enjoy enjoy enjoy family.   I wish I could adequately describe the smoked pork butt sandwiches on Friday night with my brother's special sauce or the Kentucky catfish, crappie and blue gill fish fry on Saturday night or the neighbor down the road who showed up with a peach cobbler on one visit and a watermelon on the next.  It was a great weekend and the food was tremendous.  But, the giggling girls and the family reconnect made it perfect. 


I came back from my weekend to the regular stuff everyone comes back to.  The laundry, the putting away, cleaning out, keeping or not, emptying of the car.  We had a deluge of a rain for about 20 minutes while in Kentucky, just before leaving to head back north.  Hubs left the sun roof open but said "It's not so bad..." when I asked how much rain got in the car.  I understand the sun roof.  I like the sun roof.  I have tried to understand why he doesn't close the sun roof.  Even if there is ZERO chance of rain, why have the sun beating in on the seats? The bugs flying in to the car? Close the sun roof!  Now, of course as soon as I spent a few minutes in the car I realized that yes, there is quite a bit of water in the car...unpack one of those beach towels, please, so I can look forward to a five hour drive sitting on a damp towel.  He seemed surprised, literally, that there would be any dampness at all as he explained "I wiped the water up with my swim shorts".  The silliness of that makes me giggle today but on Sunday, I'm pretty sure I steamed.  


This week is flying by with a busy time at work and much to do at home.  I have let our pantry run almost completely empty because there was so much in there that just needed to be thrown away and the shelves washed down.  Fridge, too.   That's my at home project of the week! 

Is that you, Cindi?

In the "recovery" of my previous work situation, I got a little anti-social.  I have to admit it...and some of you probably have felt it...I just didn't want to have people over or see anyone.  I know hubs got frustrated at times and has been really patient.  Well, I am not sure it has been patience or avoidance, truth be known, but he didn't push me.  I have great friends who also have been patient.  Understanding.  Quietly supportive.  I wanted only to surround myself with family.  Think I had a bit of a trust issue; what do you think?  

It's a new season of Cindi.   

I think it began with a wedding in the fall.  One of my favorite kids was getting married.  I love this young man and his beautiful wife.  I struggled with responding to the invitation because of who I knew would be there.  Could I do it? I don't think I have shared this with anyone but attending the wedding was difficult for me.  In the end, I was not going to cheat myself of sharing the joy of these two.  Besides, I had a few rocks around me...a traveling support team. 

Anxiety laden as I sat through the ceremony, keenly aware of who sat around me and behind me, I clinched my hands and read and re-read the program.  Focus, focus.  Phew and exhale.  Following the ceremony, there it was - I heard a voice shrill and sharp in the back of the church and thought I might vomit. Yep, that's what I wanted to avoid.  Looking quickly at hubs I whispered a need to get out.  I thought I might knock people over as we beat it to the oasis of a small sofa in another building.  I think I literally sat behind a potted plant for a while.  Maybe even in it.  

It was hard but looking back there was such a victory for me, yes ME, to claim that evening as I talked to some favorite people, engaged in deep conversation with lovely young adults that I have know most of their lives, laughed,  danced and enjoyed.  I felt the anxiety and fear melt away as things were made right within me.  Since the wedding in the fall, I have added things back in ~ people, places, events.  Life since then has changed and grown as new experiences and opportunities have come along.  

You know, I have posted before about pushing through and feeling more like my "old self" so you may have thought that I was already here, so what's the big deal?  Well, its a big deal.  I've done a little of the "fake it til you make it" over the past year or so, sure, but I've allowed myself time.   More so, you have allowed me time and I am so grateful.  For my family and friends who recognized, in some way, that I needed a little time and space, thanks.   I turned down invitations and I failed to invite.  Ew.  (I doubt you know this,  but, I use to go grocery shopping at midnight, or in another town, to avoid unpleasant and unwelcome encounters.  Double ew.)  

So now, the big question,  where shall we go for lunch? Who am I kidding? I don't have time for lunch!  I'd love to see you, lets work it out! 

An opening.

The art center where I work had an opening on Friday.  We have pieces from all over the country, we have new items in the gallery shop, we have exciting visitors and events planned; we also are without a marketing director.   It’s temporary but it causes us to step up our individual and team game.   As a small staff, we are scrambling to get every thing that needs to be done the best way we can.  It makes for some crazy, drop everything and go times.  At the end of the day...I love us.  

The staff meets weekly and a request was presented to “bump” up the food a little bit for the opening from what we usually make available at our First Friday events, when the center is open late.  I said “I will take care of the food.” Brave.  How many people? 200 or so? My budget? 200 or so.   

Preparing appetizers for 200 in a pleasing arrangement for $1 per person is a challenge.  Fortunately, we have a couple of interns with us for the summer and a collaborative, passionate and determined staff.   While in our small gallery kitchen on Friday afternoon I took a breath and did a step back observation.  I see the data base guy slicing cucumbers, the tall, well dressed, assistant to the curator shmearing cream cheese, the pixie of an intern concentrating on perfect cucumber placement.  I like to take moments and really soak in them.  You guys know this about me...I observe.   I’m happy but I’m busy so back to opening packages, running plates, scrounging for platters and bowls,  I give direction and do my best not to break a leg in shoes I should not have worn.  We were a machine when it comes to appetizers, folks,  and it went off beautifully.  

An opening is electric.  It brings out a celebratory mood in the guests to the gallery and to the staff.  It causes people to dress up and there are so few times anymore when people get dressed up.  A chance to show off their spark-lies and our guests did not disappoint.  People were happy to be out, impressed and wowed by the art on exhibit, sated by food and beverage.  

At the end of a very busy and somewhat conflicted week, we were pleased at the end of our night as any host or hostess is when a party goes well.  Following our opening, hubs and I went down the street to a small pub and listened to some great music, stayed out til midnight and let stress melt away.  What? Our soon to be daughter-in-law’s parents are coming for the weekend? No worries.  With help, I'll be ready!  

I am unbelievably antsy. 

I want to shed the things I own in order to travel, to drop everything and go.  I think it stems from not having traveled much over the last few years of the “economic downturn”.   I’ve reported before of the lovely trips we used to take with hubs employer...those were good days and good times.  (Remember, not “going” was my reason for getting a dog.) 

I miss spending money sometimes but mostly I miss travel.  I miss seeing new things and I miss the relaxation.  Dare I admit that I miss having room service, a never ending banquet of great tropical food and drink.  Indulgence.  I miss indulgence, darn it.  During those times I HAD to shop to BUY new things to wear, to OWN.

I went to Spain and the Canary Islands in one trip.  I don’t think I appreciated it enough at the time. Send me again, please, and I will show you appreciation like you can’t believe.  I will talk endlessly about it. I will effuse, effervesce even.  

These are the things that are rolling through my quiet days.  How I wish I were getting ready for a big trip.  Anywhere, somewhere.  A change of scenery.  Do you? 

I'm all about change.

Now that I have my great little dog, I am back to walking around in the yard for a little while before I prepare myself for the work day.  It's amazing to me how just adding one small thing can change your entire 24 hours.  The little dog requires some exercise and some stretching as she sleeps in a crate.  She requires some care and some affection in the morning, and hey, who doesn't?  


I wasn't one to get up too much before I had to prepare myself for work or whatever.  I just didn't really like mornings so much.  Being a night person, I stayed up late and then slept until I could no longer stay in bed and get on with it.  I liked it.  


Don't get me wrong, I haven't changed completely but the little dog does mean its different.  I have her to think about and she needs to walk.  Well, I'm not going to let her walk around out there by herself, am I?  She needs to prance and dance for me, to show off a bit, to do her turns and paw at me with her silly little feet.  She really needs a belly rub and a treat would be nice, even if she did just eat her breakfast.  


Point is, I'm down there in the yard, walking around in the early morning sunshine.  It's hitting me on the head, it's beating down on my back, it's warming my shoulders and causing me to squint.  I kind of like it.  

Where'd it go?

You know I am a frustrated gardener, right?  It takes so much time, energy and money to have some great flower beds and I have not a spare of any of those.  Here’s the thing, though...where does my time go? And if my time has taken a hike, what the heck happened to my energy? Money? Well, if I had any, I might be able to tell you where it is.  

I saw a commercial the other day regarding, oh, I don’t know, life insurance maybe.  This woman explains that retirement doesn’t mean stop living.  Now, I’m not retired but her story was she retired on a Friday and on Monday was in class, learning how to be a massage therapist.  She’s now working as a massage therapist.  Isn’t that something? Fantastic, really. 

Where do people find it? The ability to be so motivated at an “advanced” age? Is it something we are born with? Learn? Earn? Get bequeathed, like Aunt Ethel’s lace doily collection? Why can one person be so moved to be moving, changing, evolving and others, eh, just, eh? 

I work with some great women.  Motivated, high energy.  All over 50, some over 60 and they are dynamos.  I can’t figure out how I got mixed up with them on some days, on other days, I’m trying to figure out if I want to be.  I am trying to learn from them...get on that bandwagon and do more.  I feel like I use to do a lot and now, eh.  

I think I use to see women such as these women as those who had something to prove, who couldn’t be happy unless they were achieving something, something to point at to say “See?”.  But I don’t feel that way any more.  I think women such as these, and now I know many in their 20s, in their 30s and 40s...not just their 50s and 60s, who just chose to live it to the fullest. Who get ideas and run with them, and why not? Why should they stop?   Maybe they are more motivated because they have allowed themselves to be; they listen, they respond, they do.  

Would one of you come over and do my flower beds? How about the closets I have yet to finish from last week? A massage? Are any of you learning massage? 

Closets

Last year I saw a post from someone, can’t remember who or where, that had started a project to clean out closets.  I’ve done pretty well with our bedroom closet over the past, oh, I don’t know, five years or so, but the other closets were getting pretty out of hand.  I am not someone who hates to throw things away, but it takes me a while. 

So this weekend, I tackled a couple closets.  “Why two at once?” you might ask and I wish I had an answer for that cause it created a lot of chaos.  I just found I needed to move one thing from Closet A to Closet B but that meant I had to make room in closet B and so it began.  

Closet A had a lot of old pictures from my kids high school days in it.  So,  of course I had to sit down for an hour or so and look at those.  Closet B had some childrens books so, of course, I had to sit down and look through those.  I prepared a box for Goodwill and prepared a bag for trash.  I stacked some things for recycling and re-stacked closet shelves.  I was feeling not so bad about the progress.  I managed to condense some boxes and move some cardboard out.  Good for me.  Until I looked at the guest room bed.  I started placing things that needed yet to be determined on the bed.  Old coats, gloves without mates.  Hangers.  My broken reindeer, which is a sore subject around here, and I can’t seem to get rid of it.  

To add to all this chaos, I also sorta started on Closet C.  I began to wonder how this person who posted that she cleaned one closet a month or whatever it was, did it.  I decided to move some cleaning supplies from Closet A to the laundry room (yes, I agree, the laundry room makes much more sense.  Why would anyone put cleaning supplies in Closet A?) But, I needed to do a little spruce up of the area where the cleaning supplies were going.   What’s that? Two empty laundry detergent jugs? Really?  Well, that’s going to mean they need to be turned upside down in the bathroom sink to make sure I get every last drop of detergent out.  Oh, goodness...look at that toilet, I really need to clean that.  Where are the cleaning supplies again? Why don’t I just go ahead and create room in this bathroom closet here for the cleaning supplies I need in here.  Oh, me oh my.  Is that a load of towels that need to be folded? I’ll just throw them on the guest bed and get back to that later because right now I need to scrub the toilet, make room for cleaning supplies, wipe down the laundry room floor, and good gravy the laundry detergent jug just fell over and now, the detergent I was trying to squeeze out is running down the sink drain so I didn’t get it anyway.  

And there are towels on the bed, on top of the coats and the books I pulled out for the grandchildren but need to clear a space on the end table shelf.  All the while, I am making a mental list of the decorating ideas I am coming up with but have yet to share with hubs, who has walked through the house grumbling about lunch a couple of times.  I have also made a list for him, yet to be sprung, and it begins with my broken reindeer.  I am about to make his day. 

Anyone who has known me or my family for any length of time, or who lived in our neighborhood, knows that we had a great family dog named Seymour for 15 years or so.  He was a delight.  A good dog through and through with one brown eye and one blue, and we loved him.  

We haven’t wanted another dog for a variety of reasons but I started really wanting a dog a few months ago.  Hubs was not as convinced as, well, we had a lot of freedom, he said.  We can just go whenever we want.  I bought that for a long time.  Until I realized we never just go somewhere, anywhere.  We just stay.  

I spend a lot of time on my own and decided a small dog is just what I wanted.  One that will ride in the car when we do “just go”, and one that will love the grandkids and not bark, and not make a mess, and won’t shed so much.  In other words, the perfect dog. 

Needless to say, its been a struggle.  I have found a couple dogs that were close but either too expensive, too old, too big, or, in more than one case, too sick.  But, I kept looking.  

I found my dog! I have a friend who posted on facebook that she had a friend looking for a good home for her small, young, polite and adorable yorkie dachshund mix.  Oh my word.  She is so sweet, so well behaved, so pretty.  She’s my dog! 

I picked her up today from her heartbroken owner.  The owner just felt giving her up was in the best interest of the dog.  She loves her and I was sad for her but after spending some time with her, I agree that her decision to let her dog go was the best for her.  She carried the little dog to my car and now, she has her home with us.   Grandkids will love her, she hasn’t barked a peep and she is perfect.  

I am so happy! 

Now that gets my goat!

I sorta hate the media..the press…news. I don’t usually say that I “hate” something. Well, wait a minute, yes I do. I say it all the time.

I am not, I repeat, NOT, voting for Mitt Romney.  Secondly, I am really riled up over the media reaction to this Hilary Somebody who said in referencing Mrs. Romney that “she never worked a day in her life”. That led all sorts of people to respond to her statement – including Mrs. Obama for crying out loud - that stay at home moms deserved some respect, and of course they “worked”.

I am pretty sure that’s not the point Hilary Whoever was trying to make. I think she was talking financially and how Mrs. Romney could not relate to struggling families economically. I am pretty sure she was talking about Mrs. Romney being a woman of privilege ~ a whole lotta privilege. A ton of privilege. It had nothing to do with her parenting choice for crying out loud, or whether homemakers, mothers and others, deserved respect for what they do.

Why oh why are we so quick to jump all over a statement, take it out of context, change its meaning and run a dang presidential campaign on it? It matters not whether Mrs. Romney is a stay at home mom or goes out to perform neurosurgery at the crack of dawn, the point Hilary Whosits was making was the woman is golden. She has been since hooking up with ol’ Mitt, the multi billionaire, and maybe even before but, I’ll be honest, I haven’t bothered to check. They are rich for goodness sakes…stinking rich and she lives a completely different life than the rest of us…or to quote Hilary Unfortunate, “Lets face it”.  She may not relate well to you and me. You know any stinking rich people? STINKING rich? I think you may find them a bit out of touch with daily financial struggles…just a guess cause I don’t know any STINKING rich people of the Romney’s level.  

Gosh, I hate media manipulation almost as much as I hate political manipulation. For goodness sakes is there anyone in their right mind who doesn’t agree with the statement that Mrs. Romney has never “worked” a day in a purely financial reference, which was the dang point? I am so incredibly outraged that female politicos all over this country including Mrs. O, who is one of my faves, are twisting this statement into some sort of platform on which to set up camp. Do you really think Hilary Stepped Right In It was disparaging stay at home moms? Seriously, do you? If you do, have you even bothered to listen to the whole presentation or are you reading the ONE sentence and listening to pundits who are manipulating the interview and creating a national fallout in defense of stay at home moms everywhere? How ridiculous. You know what she meant. Stop making this a statement about something it was clearly NOT about. The woman is filthy rich. Filthy with it. Talk about dumb…this debate has been about the dumbest I’ve heard since Alexander Haig said he was in charge. Do not manipulate me. I won’t stand for it.

Here it is!

Spring.  This is the real spring, not the spring we just experienced that was really the oddest winter on record.   I am very grateful for the odd winter as, well, I started that job, you know,  and the one thing I feared was my drive in the winter.  Well, I didn't fear it, I'm not that kind of gal...but I did not want to do it.  Typically, if I don't want to do something, I don't.  Glad it worked out for me! 


Life is very pretty looking out my window.  I love sunshine, I love flowers and I love the lake when its quiet.  I love the light at dusk and how the flowers seem to absorb all the light possible throughout the day and for that very short time period,  just glow at dusk.  I love when its grey out, the whites are so white.  Like the swans that station themselves just off our shore line when the lake is quiet.  


 The flowers seem to have taken off and everything is blooming at once instead of on "schedule".   It makes the yard look amazing, riotous even.  It will change as the blooms start to fade all at once, too, I suppose,  but for this week...well, its fantastic.  


Spring has sprung, ladies and gents.   I hope you are able to get out and bounce around in it! I will!