Lessons in a closet.

Over the last year I have performed a brutal, cutthroat clearing of my closet and donated piles of nearly-new, gently-worn and, in some cases, unworn clothing.  When I go in to the closet I am stunned there are still so many items there because I feel like I have practically cleared it.  The shoes alone are mind boggling, and what remains of the hanging “office” clothes could stock a store.  Especially in black, from my most recent job.  When I was working full-time years ago, I remember proudly wearing something different to work every day in December in red, for the holidays you see. 

I ventured in to my closet this morning in search of a particular article of clothing.  While there I discovered two pairs of new “yoga” pants that I had given up on finding on previous excursions.  Always the last place you look, as the saying goes.  I felt I must have accidentally donated those pants, and yet, here they were, stuck at the end of the closet rod, near my husband’s suits. I still must own way too much, was my first thought, if I couldn’t find these pants for six months.  But, yippee!

I do own a lot, but too much? How does one gauge too much?  I could wear something different every day for two weeks maybe.  Is that too much? I do have many different versions of the same “uniform”, the same long sleeve t-shirt in different colors and neck styles, also available in short sleeve, the same cardigan-type sweater in a few colors and lets not forget the knit yoga pants.  I typically will swap out the yoga pants for jeans if I leave the house.  I have two pairs of jeans for just this purpose. But, this wardrobe has replaced my work wardrobe.  

When I worked outside the home I had much more.  Many skirts, many slacks and jackets.  Those have all been donated and I hope are in circulation for someone who needed a pretty nice skirt for work or an interview.  I have cleaned out my side of the closet many times, and I am looking forward to doing so again this week, as I saw many items in there that I no longer need.   I have talked with husband a few times about his many shirts and the need to purge.  Someone could use those, I argue, if you aren’t wearing any longer.  I’m gutsy, but I won’t decide for him. 

I still wish I had that black lace skirt I went on a hunt for this morning…the one I wore to my daughter’s wedding in 2008 and never since…but I also recognize we do have much, and it hit me in the face this morning as I looked at my clothes and shoes.  Everything from food on the table and clean water to drink, to too many clothes ~ a warm house, a healthy family, cars to drive, friends and places to visit.  Lessons are everywhere, aren’t they? Even in closets, teachings are heard.  I am grateful this December day for all I have received.  I close out 2015 with a listening, joy-filled and grateful heart.         

Meloncholiday

It won’t come as a surprise to anyone, as I am sure you feel the same, but, I want my family together all the time. Always.  I woke up to a great day a few mornings ago when my three kids, their lovely spouses and all my grandchildren were in one spot, at one time, all at my table and all happy.   It happens rarely since son and his bride are many states away, but, even when living closer, it is hard to get them all here at once. 

So I relished my day and a half but only after a little melt-down first.  My emotions ran away with me for a 10-minute episode or so, completely out of the blue and overwhelming.  Something was said, can’t even tell you what, and it set me into a bit of a spin, excusing myself to sit alone in my bedroom for a bit.  Talking to myself (sure, I do it) to get over it.  I did not want to lose this day to THAT, whatever it was ~ I think we will call it Meloncholiday. 

Memories flooded my ol’ grey head…my kids as children, me as a child, my parents, my granddaughter’s first Christmas, little boys under Christmas trees with delight in their eyes, one dressed his first year in Elf pajamas and looking as sweet as could be, my nephew calling every Christmas morning to talk with my son, even though they would see each other in a half-hour.   There were also hopes for the future that raced through my mind as we anticipated a big reveal of our 2016 grandchild’s gender, too.   A new baby in the spring, building a small addition to our home, planning and remodeling, landscaping thoughts.   Will we travel, too? Will we enjoy continued good health? Will the kids visit? When will they see each other again?

So, it overtook me for a second.  Hearing the Seattle couple discuss the rest of their week and knowing that I wouldn’t be a part of it, that they won’t be a part of our week, and then they’ll be gone again.  It was tough on this old bird but, by heaven, I was not going to sit on my bed and cry away the afternoon.  Snap out of it, go enjoy your family, I said sternly to myself.  Blow your nose.  Meloncholiday is not today.

Revisit.

This winter is already a drag.  Brown and gray, boring and gloomy.  It’s not even truly “winter” yet as we haven’t arrived at that solstice, that magical day on the December calendar and I’m wishing for spring.  I’ve got a long row to hoe as they say. 

Which, gets me to wondering ~ what sayings will be out of fashion in another 10 years? Facetime me? I already talk to kids about something from an old TV show and they look at me, perplexed, smile through mumbled “I have no idea what you are talking about”.  No one is better at this than my 4 year-old grandson, who has a way of saying “I do not know.” that is at once mature and hysterical.  His second best saying is “Sure.” which he provides as a regular response instead of yes.  Spending time with him always reveals a unique side to his character and his curiosity.  He asked me several times over the weekend “Did you know I am not three anymore, but I am four?” Why yes, yes I did.  I was at that Chuck E. Cheese party. 

When my kids were little, my son, who is dark haired and dark eyed and his not quite a brother, slightly younger, blonde and blue eyed cousin were best friends.  My two grandsons are a repeat of this dynamic and I love watching them together, hear them negotiate, even if it does sometimes come to referee responsibilities just like 30 years ago.  I had to pull the “Hey! I just saw Santa looking in the window!” on the younger grandson, who wiped his face, looked surprised and quizzical as to how that could possibly be, but I’m his GiGi so it must be true.  I love that trick.  Although I never felt it as a mother, as his grandmother, I was moved by his sorrowful expression, his wiping his tears with his fat little hands, smearing and sniffling and checking my face to make sure I meant it.  If a grandmother’s heart could melt, that would have done it.   Those boys warm me to my toes, just like 30 years ago.

Now that I have had the time to think about it, I guess this isn’t such a gloomy time.  I have presents to purchase, wrap, bake, cook, stir.  My son and his wife are due in a few days from Seattle and my family will be all in one place for a brief and beautiful time.  There will be laughter and drama, no doubt, acceptance and excitement.  I’ll say something outdated and dumb, causing my daughters to shake their heads.  My grandkids will giggle, run and “tussle”.  My husband will undoubtedly do something wrong in the kitchen. 

This isn’t such a bad time, after all.  The joy of December cannot be found in the color of the ground, when there isn’t snow, or the sky, when there isn’t sun, but there is joy in December, for sure. 

Girls just wanna have fun!

When my daughters were younger, college age, I tried to visit them on the campus of their university to see something musical.  We’ve also been to musical movies over the years.  I enjoy them, hubs doesn’t particularly, and it’s a good excuse to have girls time. 

This past weekend was our time…a trip to Nutcracker in Chicago.  We have been the previous two years as well, but, in Indianapolis.  Once to Butler University and one performed by the same ballet school my little granddaughter attends, which is a developmental school as they have levels up to “pre-professional”.  Last year the Snow Queen was my granddaughter’s teacher, so that was extra special for her to see.  We saw a spectacular performance this weekend at the Auditorium in Chicago, by the Joffrey.  The building alone is priceless and worth seeing, but the dancers? Oh my.  A special part in this performance was, and I hope you are familiar enough with the Nutcracker to recognize this, a small child in a wheelchair was part of the party scene in the beginning.  That little guy was excited and fantastic in his "crowd scene" role. For my daughter, who enjoys working with children with special needs, seeing him included, and keeping time with the music, and truly beaming, was a joy.

My granddaughter is not quite old enough to audition for a role in the Nutcracker in her studio but I think it’s coming soon.  That will likely change the “girls” time to “family” time, as Grandpas, Daddy, brother, uncles, cousins…they will all be invited.  It will be fun; it will be different.  

I won’t be giving up my girl’s time, however.  I will be searching for a new musical, a new play, concert or movie to attend or a new wine bar or restaurant to try.  I cherish these times…they really help us stay connected, gets the girls out of their “normal” roles. We like to dress up a bit and make it a celebration.   I’ve said it before, I love my son, my sons-in-law, and I love being with all of them, any of them…they bring a different energy, however.  Not a bad one, just different.  My girls are wives, sisters, aunts when we are all together.  When it’s just girls, it’s just that.  If my daughter-in-law were in town, she’d be included, too…I love her. 

Be watching for us.  As our family grows there may be more girls to add but for now, me and my two girls, and sometimes the granddaughters, is like heaven to me, and I hope it is for them, too.   

Where u at?

My husband’s aunt passed away earlier this year and left a bit of a hole…she was the lady in the family who sent everyone a birthday card, if she knew your birthday I guess.  Every year, until she passed away this summer, we received birthday cards.   

I started thinking about my nieces and nephews.  I love them each so very much and realized that although I know their birthdays, I have no idea of their kids birthdays.  I think my sister-in-law, who owns most of the nieces and nephews and off spring, has a pretty good idea, but, it wasn’t written down anywhere.  I also thought about the time I was trying to get in touch with a particular family member, nothing major or traumatic, but, did not have their phone number anywhere.  Sometimes, I have the wife, hubs has the husband, but, this information, as far as I knew, was not centralized anywhere.  This presented me with a major mission…collecting everyone’s information, including birthdays, making and sharing a record.  It started with a Facebook post, finished with some nagging at Thanksgiving and now, the list is 99% complete, at least for this side of the family. 

It’s an impressive list.  As I finalized it, entering information on lines of the spreadsheet, watching the count grow, I took a minute to appreciate each individual.  Thought about the little kids, their funny moments, their smarts, their sweet, sweet faces and how each voice sounds.  Thought about the oldest of the “grands”, and her brothers…how they have grown, what a wonderful job their parents have done.  Looked forward to upcoming births, weddings, graduations.  There is much activity in a family of this size and relationship.

The list fell together easily, quickly really, and now it is something I sort of treasure..not because of the dates and the numbers but because of each person, big or little, who is bound to me and represented in each line.  I treasure them, and I like having a list I can go down, take a moment for each name, each entry, and express my gratitude for them.  

I don’t promise to be, all of a sudden, that aunt that remembers everyone’s birthday and sends out cards…I know myself well enough to know I can’t keep that up.  But I sure like knowing I can find you if I need you!

As for my side of the family? Watch out, there's some nagging heading your way. 

 

Working it.

I have written before of Thanksgiving…of how it is my favorite holiday, without the stress or pressure for gifts or events, just turkey and pumpkin pie.  It’s a holiday full of gratitude and since being grateful for my family and my friends is my top priority, I love Thanksgiving as I usually get a pretty strong dose during this week.
 

Wandering around my yard and the neighboring yards (yeah, I’m kind of free range) every morning, I am working on a peaceful heart.  I want to be kinder, gentler.  Last year, I was determined to take joy ~ and I have been doing pretty well, if I do say so myself.  2016 is to be more gentle.  I know there are times this year when I have too easily become riled up, even angry, over small things and big things, maybe even justifiably.  But, it takes so much energy, you know? Coming down from being riled up isn’t as easy as it once was and I don’t want to be that cranky old lady.  You know the one…that’s not for me.  Thing is, there are things that seriously bug me so it’s work for me.  It’s also work for me to not be so outspoken about my irks.

Working on my irks.  At my age, to know I am not yet complete, is humbling and motivating. Sorta. 

For those of you who read this blog, many of whom I do not personally know, comment on this blog and also read my Lake Living facebook page, I am grateful for you.  I appreciate your comments to me, when you see me out and about, and appreciate those you send to me, whether you post publicly or through a private message. 

I hope you celebrate well this season of gratitude.

I think it was in our vows.

I have taken a jump to my Christmas shopping, which is not like me at all.  I usually am out there deciding during that last week.  Especially when it comes to kids pj’s, which is my traditional Christmas Eve gift.  I’ve scaled back and only do the grandkids now because, well, the kids, now all in their 30s (gasp!), don’t grow and their pj’s tend to last forever ~ or nearly.
  

So, this year, I started earlier, even if it is only just putting a name at the top of a list.   I don’t mind the racing around at the last minute and there probably will be some of that still, but…I don’t want to see a grandbaby with the wrong pj’s!

Since I don’t put up a full tree, I did start breaking out a few decorations.  Nothing super huge but starting in one area of the house and kind of working towards the kitchen to both dust some woodwork and decorate a bit before Thanksgiving, because the grandkids will be here.  I don’t know, something has gotten to me this year ~ I need that holiday spirit, I want it.   After a HORRIBLE news week, I’m more determined than ever to spread a little joy, a little Christmas cheer.  I spent time recently with one of my favorite relatives, always enjoying her company and just all around wasting time, but in a very good way.  We poked around in a garden center, which was getting decked out for the holidays, picked up some “must haves” and ate a great cup of soup in the brew pub.   We shared stories of family and expressed our gratitude and love for each and every one.

The actual gifts are a bit harder.  This year I have to admit to being a little clueless all around.  I won’t go the 100% gift card route yet, but, it is getting closer.  I like surprises, though, and I enjoy shopping for just the right thing.  I try to stick to a budget, do okay, and just bite the bullet if I go overboard.  Sometimes I wish I had a shopping genie.  Someone who would like to go, help me with my bags, “ooohhhh”  and “aaaahhh” over every item I stop to review, and allow me the time to make a decision, even if it means going BACK to a store we just left.   As far as hubs, well, he tells me he’ll go but then folds his arms and whistles, obviously not into it.  So much looking over my head while the whistling air ruffles my tresses. 

What happened to just shopping? Just shopping for fun, for a break, for nothing? Remember when we used to all go to the mall for a date? Just shop? Buy nothing but maybe an ice cream cone or a pretzel? Remember the pretzels? So, its settled.  While not totally enjoyable for either of us, I will drag hubs from store to store again this year.  It’s his duty.

Glad that's over!

Hubs has gone beyond this week with keeping up with the leaves around the homestead.  He has worked in the dark, sat at a smoldering fire and gone back and forth over this acreage with a backpack blower that he admits is way heavy and makes his chest vibrate.  This is after his 50+ hours work week.  The guy is amazing with his ability to walk in the door from a long, stressful day, switch roles, change clothes and become Handy Andy in a matter of minutes.  It’s times like these that I do my best comfort food cooking.  I know he loves gravy, loves soup.  I know he loves casseroles and I crank ‘em out nearly every night during leaf raking season.  Nothing fancy here in late October/early November, but it will be warm, saucy and usually with a noodle.   

I don’t rake.  It’s not that I am opposed to raking, I’m not.  But, over the years I have been tending to kids or cooking while the rakes are out and I’m just not very good. I save my yard involvement for landscaping and weeding…which hubs does not get involved with much, unless I need something heavy moved.  I don’t drive the tractor pulling that leafvac thing or hoist the backpack blower.  I admit to being a bit of a sissy when it comes to raking.  My girls rake, as their dad taught them well, and I’m sure my grandkids will rake.  That makes me proud, and slightly ashamed.  The raking is complete so I'm told, and I am glad that he can now move on to football and popcorn on Sunday afternoons...and maybe a chore or two I have been waiting to spring on him. 

We also moved items into the new shed.  We had only small disagreements as to what was going in, what was not.  I gave in to a mower and he agreed to moving Esmerelda from her spot in the woods to enjoy winter in the new shed.  She’s been left out in the elements in previous years and they have been hard on her plaster finish.  My carts, my pots and planters, garden tools, left over mulch…it’s all found a winter home in the shed, along with the cushions and chairs and tubes for water sports.  The shed is solid and while about 90% complete (waiting on a loft and shelving, some other finishing touches) it is certainly near perfect.   

I haven’t started any decorating for the holidays but I am starting to think about it.  We don’t put up a tree any more but a few years ago I discovered securing my ornaments on garland and draping and over the counter and windows. I love the look!  A tree takes up people space and we are short on people space in my little home.  I do have a small tree that has only Santa ornaments, and I stopped buying Santa ornaments a few years ago unless I see something that is just spectacular.   

I still have plans to “make” trees for the woods. I’ll let you know how it goes, but I have some ideas! Now where did hubs get off to...      

Oh, the adventures.

Today in Lake Living...could be an awesome quiet day, like it started this morning, with a walk along the shoreline and a sit on a newly acquired and gently used bench, temporarily set on the porch of the little shed.  This makes for a great sitting spot for the season, and hopefully enough room left in the shed to move it inside in December, although it is filling up fast.   Little dog and I enjoyed about a half hour on the bench and surveyed the yard, recently cleared of leaves but still fallish.  A smoldering leaf fire and three swans taking a morning swim.  Nicely brisk, enough for my black and red flannel jacket from the men’s department, but not chilly enough to pop up the hood.   Yes, the porch of the shed is a great place to start the day, with a cup of coffee and a dog.  Sounds bucolic enough, right?  

I semi-planned my day.  Do I brave senior citizen discount day at the local grocery or do I wait, pulling something out of thin air for dinner this evening?  Should I sweep the deck? What do you think, little dog on the bench beside me? Little dog? Oh, little dog, where did you go? A walk around the shed, whistling. Scanning the yard, calling.  Stinker, I think to myself.  We've been working on "stay by me" as she has disappeared for several minutes a time or two lately, and is not quick to respond to being called.   

Whimper.  Shake.  Jingle of her tag and collar, dust rises from between the boards of the porch floor.  Crum.  Little dog, as she sniffed around, and then under the shed, became wedged within the floor system under the porch.  Can she really get under the shed? Why would she? Note, this is a flaw and should be remedied.  After a few minutes, I sent a message to the dog whisperer I call my sister-in-law.  I may or may not have an emergency…

A bit of coaxing and talk of taking out boards, but not finding the right drill bit to remove the screws, little dog comes out with some gentle pulling on her collar.  A few licks of thanks to the dog whisperer (from the dog, not me) and little dog is at the back door, anxious for her breakfast and a nap.  Me, too.

 

Don't miss it.

Not gonna lie, was having a bit of a melancholy week last week.  I think it started with me watching a video, yes, that’s right VHS, of my kids, my mom and dad, my sister…my family.  Some of it was joyful, but, some was just painful as I remembered loss. 

So, I was blue.  Bluer than blue on the day of my birthday, Wednesday.  I had a nice little (*cough*) cry and tried to right my world for the rest of the week and the weekend, but it was difficult. 

Then things started falling into place.  This was the weekend of my mother and father-in-law’s estate auction.  There was lots to look through, people to see and visit with and much to do.  My girls were coming and so was a dear, sweet niece and her husband.  Nothing to do with the auction, but circumstances not so kind were bringing her from Virginia to Indiana, and after years of asking her to visit, she was going to be here. 

My sweet niece, only daughter of my sister and as fun as she can be.  Giggles all the while talking and is so much like her mom in so many ways, and so much not like her in others.  It’s been a few years since I’ve seen her but less since I’ve talked with her, as I try to keep in touch with her, and she with me.  She always tells me she loves me and she always makes me laugh.  She and her husband would be spending the night and my girls were going to try to stay (one did, one was not able to) so they could see her, too.  I made a couple calls and invited my brothers over for dinner.  We were going to celebrate, and so we did. Quickly, in a small batch, but none-the-less meaningful. 

Once again I am reminded of the fragility of relationships.  The fleetingness of life, and family.  But, I am also reminded once again to take joy, to grab on, to hold tight and to be grateful for those opportunities that don’t present themselves often, but when they do, one, two, three GO.

Art in every day.

As you know, I take a long walk around my yard every morning with my little dog.  Her morning constitutional.  I breathe in so much beauty during this walk.  You would think after walking it nearly every morning I would get tired or bored with it, but I never do.  There is always something new to see, or to think about, during this walk.  I consider it an art stroll in some ways.

Last week we got some great help from our neighbor across the way, on the shed.  He came fully prepared to assist and also offer some tips for making the shed construction go a bit easier.  Oh, he teased a bit as well, knowing I would want Christmas lights at some point.  I could hear hubs grumbling in the back of the shed about electricity and something about cute.  

I walked around a lot when he was here helping.  There is art to being a great neighbor, working together, their banter, even in the tools.  I participated some but this was definitely them being in a zone together…I was an outsider, though not in a bad way.  An observer.  

Art is everywhere and I love to stumble across it.

Lessons of value.

Like a lot of people who learned their financial lessons in 2009 getting out of debt has been a long road for us, as when the economy fell, so did the lumber business.  We suffered some setbacks, we strategized and tightened our belts a lot in the last six years and can now say, phew, glad that’s over.  It kind of screwed with our retirement plan and savings but we will be good, just not quite where we would have liked.  It also taught us a lot about want vs. need and how to budget.  I can honestly say, although not a financial whiz, budgets are important.  You have to know what you have and where it’s going.

That being said, I’m a shopper and a spender.  It’s been tough on me these last few years as I have cut back, and cut back some more.  I stopped working outside the home and cannot shop like I use to, but, I also find myself in my “home uniform” of leggings or yoga pants, t-shirts and a multitude of cardigans that were once used to fight off the chill in the office every day.  I have a couple of “go to” dresses and sweaters or tops for the occasional night out and I’m good with that.  I don’t always like it, but I cook, and I cook well, on a budget. 

Back in the early 2000s for several months, I bought a new bath towel or two every month, to replace the towels we had received as wedding gifts twenty years before.  Since all the kids are grown, these towels have lasted a good long time as they aren’t used like they once were, aren’t in the laundry every other day.  As I folded towels the other day, I began thinking about replacing them…some are stained, some faded, some raveling. Years ago, I would have relegated those to the rag basket and thought nothing of buying a new towel.  Now, I think about it, and delay it until it makes sense.

I am still way over-burdened with things.  I have to search for an empty spot to put my platter away after entertaining because I have so much stuff in the cabinet.  I have to organize my closet again and again, discarding or donating, to make room for my clean laundry.  It is not lost on me how very blessed I am, that I am warm, that I am fed, clothed and have clean water.  I think about it daily and am somewhat embarrassed by my excess at times.

So I will go through my closet again with the changing of seasons and donate gently worn or seldom used items.  I am thankful for our “bad” times, so much gentler than many, many others have had, I know -  our lessons were light compared to horrible situations others found themselves in.  Our lessons taught us how to approach the next decade.  Carefully, diligently and determined. 

These towels are fine.

One for the books.

Last weekend we hosted our sixth or seventh, maybe eighth, annual chili party for family.  I started this event for purely selfish reasons…

As I have previously mentioned, hubs and I want to present a different view of our lake home.  To make it more open to family and friends, to have more gatherings here, to give people more opportunity to spend time here, on this wonderful piece of property.  It’s been a full summer and we have enjoyed every minute of having both a big gathering or a small get-together, both planned weeks in advance or a last-minute-cause-its-beautiful-out.  

The chili party started several years ago and is a “family only” party (and let me tell you, we are a very inclusive group and this is HARD) for a couple different reasons ~ the first, that we can never count on the weather so it had to be kept down to just family in case we were indoors.  We’ve had an equal number of really beautiful days and seriously rainy and cold days.  This year was rainy and cold. Second, and this remains true, my kids are all a distance ~ the chili party is an opportunity to have a gathering when they spend time with their family, without a theme or parade.  My kids are the only ones that are out of town, you see.  If there isn’t a gathering, they may never see their cousins or aunts and uncles.  Oh, there’s holidays, sure, but those are busy times, and they can’t always make them or there’s a million things to do.   The chili party, gathering just our family, allows my kids to connect with their family and their family with them.  Selfish, yes, I know. 

The Chili Party is a bit of a tradition now, deserving of capitalization.   Everyone tries to make it and my kids love being here with their family.  It focuses us on each other, conversations are between cousins who may not have had time to sit down on the 4^th of July, or Labor Day, and talk one on one.  Family secrets and successes are revealed, laughter is shared, little kids get to know one another as family.  Gathering around a fire is always magic, life changing my daughter says. I love the Chili Party, I really do, for all the selfish reasons and the not so selfish ones, too. 

Awakening day.

I was up early walking the dog and had the opportunity to see the sun rise on a beautiful fall morning.  Patches of sun as the yard awakened, highlighting old leaves, flowers looking for their last kiss of summer. 

I am not a gazing ball kind of gal.  But, I saw a gazing ball earlier this year at a relative’s home and became convinced I needed that spot of glint and glitter in my yard, somewhere.  I couldn’t find the ball I wanted ~ theirs was like a big bubble, blown from the sweet lips of a child.  My current gazing ball is green, and greener still as it reflects the trees that surround it.  I am fond of it, but that clear bubble dances in the back of my mind.   

The yard was cold this bright, sunny morn.  I stood in the sun streaked yard, I paused in the shadows, to come out again so the sun could warm my back, and watched the lake wake up.  A pair of swans had the lake to themselves for a time and the loud flapping of their wings as they took flight echoed across the water. 

This is a glorious morning.  I moved to test the tackiness of the newly painted turquoise chair.  I may not get its partner painted this fall, I may have waited a few days too long for the metal was cold to the touch.  Moving through the yard, up the drive, and back down, to see what the woods offered to me as a train whistled in the distance.  I took my time, I pulled in the crisp air, listened.  So hard to listen at times, but this morning I tried.  There is something about a fall morning that makes it easier to listen.

A busy few days lay ahead and this morning was fuel.  My skin is still chilled, my hands gathering warmth from the coffee cup, my feet welcome the slippers.  I am grateful for the day.   

My take on the lake.

I schlepped water down to the marigolds this morning and as I listened to squirrels chattering, sort of lost in my own world, I ignored how wet the bottom of my flannel pajama pants were becoming from the dew.  I gave not a thought to how this might look from the lake.  I so often admire what I see from my yard, my swing, the porch of the new shed…but what a sight the few fishermen out this morning had of me.  I could not even tell you what my hair may have seemed to them, glowing bright in the sun, as I have yet to look in a mirror. 

Last week, as I moved around the yard I gave a thought to what is different about living on a small lake like ours to a big lake like Lake Michigan, right down the road.  My first thought was the connectivity of the homes to the beach, and getting to know your neighbors, with toes in the sand and waves lapping at your ankles.  That’s nice.  I know a few people who live right on the shores of Lake Michigan, their summer place, and they tell me of cocktails at sunset with gathering neighbors, pop up parties if you will.  I like that, seems friendly.  Now, of course, if you live not on the shores of Lake Michigan you know it can be a bit less than friendly, but, that’s another story.

Then there is the boat life.  I know of folks who own big boats.  BIG boats and they never leave the dock, or maybe only once, to make a yearly run further north up the lakeshore and back to home pier again.  They also have gatherings and parties as many have a set-up on the boat and pier to accommodate quite a soiree.  It’s kind of hard to break in there,  if you are interested in becoming part of that life, but, it can be managed with the large investment for a big boat and a yearly dock fee.  I remember years ago Johnny Carson would joke with Ed McMahon about life on a boat docked in a marina, never left the dock, but what a great time they all had there.  I was young and had no frame of reference for what they teased back and forth about.   There was something so classy about the life they described!  

 

There's also life in a cottage or cabin, like my brother's place.   Big and roomy, with a kitchen big enough to make a meal but that's not the focus.  The focus is the open rooms, the big deck and porch, the firepit at night...the gathering of friends and family, especially their dear friend, down the road, who shows up regularly, as soon as the fire starts.  I love that.   The gift of my brother and sister-in-law's hospitality, the dimples and giggles of their charming granddaughters.   I love visiting the cabin in Kentucky and have written before about it being different than my life, my lake and truly magical. 

Then, there’s my life…a small recreational lake full of pontoons, jet skis, row boats, kayaks, speed boats and canoes.  A place where you can disappear for an entire day or for an hour.  Pull up at the beach or out on the water, meet some friends, make some friends ~  it can all be done in the confines of our small but open lake.  We gather in the middle of the lake on pontoon boats, link up, pass kids and food back and forth.   Float, swim, jump and most importantly, start, tend and build relationships.  Laze away a summer day.  While we may be done with swimming for this year we have a few good boating days left.  Sure, it might require a blanket and a warm beverage…hot cider comes to mind…but there are days left.

Breaking out of a few days of some really cold and windy weather, I am back to watering plants and deadheading marigolds.   I’ve done an inspection of some of the azaleas, dogwood and redbud I planted earlier in the year and it looks like they have taken hold in most cases…I may have to replace a couple in the spring but I am willing to top them off with some rich soil for winter and give them a chance.  Planting “whips”, I’ve learned, is a tricky business and takes a special hand.  The dogwood starts were only about 10” to 12” long and not all have taken root.  When I planted some a few years ago I would say 1/3 survived.  My odds are a bit better this year.

I am also moving some daffodils, especially around the new shed.  The shed will be a bit like the barn located on the property in that it will be red, with a green metal roof and white trim.  When hubs and I moved in to our house an old glass paned entry door was the door used at the top of our basement stairs.  We lived with that door for 30 years and only replaced it a few years ago when we upgraded all the doors in the house.  Now it will be the door for the shed, after a nice coat of yellow paint.  I’m getting very excited for the shed to be finished! It will be super cute…which my husband has pointed out is not really the end goal for the shed, but it doesn’t hurt!  He has reminded me it is for tools and boat stuff and not a guest cottage (oh, how I wish!).   The yellow daffodils in the spring will be a nice addition! The ground out there is hard, hard but I am determined!
 

At some point we need to take the old shed down.  I’ll miss that structure but it will be so nice to have that space cleared and cleaned up.  I’ve got my share of potting mess going on over there, and we have some old bicycles, brick and a broken down leaf vac.  It needs some tender loving care and I’m just the person to tackle it.  Hubs said he is not in a hurry, yet, to take the shed down as it will be a chore…and maybe not till spring.  I said we need to put caution tape around it! Maybe a chalk outline.

I’ve got a list a mile long for fall prep and still have two or three plants to get in the ground before it gets too late.  I am in charge of the painting of the barn and some of our metal chairs are getting a new color but require MUCH wire brushing before that happens.  Those are big projects at the top of the list!  Of course, I’m also in charge of fun and I have plenty of that in mind, too! Yes, fall brings a lot of work, a lot of planning and a lot of fun.     

Is it over? Is it ever really over?

So we had it, right? The last hurrah of Summer 2015?

At least twice this past holiday weekend rain threatened to ruin my day.  I am happy to report that it did not happen either time.  The first, when we were expecting, oh, I don’t know fifty or sixty people for a cookout and bonfire, dampened things a little bit but held off for the rest of the late afternoon and evening.  Playing in the yard, laughing, eating and boating was the order of the day.  The second was a promise to kids that tubing would happen.  A storm moving quickly through the area and a bouncy ride in the rain gave way to a glorious, beautiful last sunny spin around the lake for some grinning kids.  My heart is full. 

My house is a wreck today, after three days of end-of-summer fun, and I would not trade it for anything.  The grandkids were here, family was here, friends were here.   I mentioned a few posts ago that hubs and I have shifted our focus from this being our house - kind of taking it for granted in a way - and making sure we share it with family, and also our extended "family friends".  We are truly blessed with a great circle of friends, who really are family.  Semantics.  Are they family or are they friends?

So, now, summer is coming to a close.  It’s been a great summer and thanks to all who made it possible!  From sharing food, sharing a laugh, it’s been one for the books.  Surprises in store and more fun ahead.  We don’t shutter our windows and roll up the deck furniture for a long time yet.

Fall 2015 is on the horizon, folks.  Football, marching band, raking leaves, chili and more family, more friends, more fires!   

I'll huff and I'll puff...

I haven’t broken out a measuring tape or anything but I would say the shed today is about 1/3 of the way done.  Hubs has put in many long hours, cutting, bolting, measuring…and I hand him tools.  Oh, occasionally I will use the drill, never the saw, and also hold the level.  This shed, I think, is being built as if the big, bad wolf might someday try to blow it down.  To which, the response I received from hubs was “Have you ever seen the news after a tornado went through?”  Fair enough.

My initial fear, in deciding on the shed plan, was that it wasn’t going to be big enough.  We finally landed on the size based on building permits issued through the county.  Oh, and we have a new rule in our county that you cannot have more than one additional building, other than your house that is, on a lot without a variance.  That’s right.  Not two sheds.  Not a shed and a boat house down by the water, which carries a different requirement anyway as it would be in the flood plain and need a permit from the DNR.  Basically, the variance for the second building, say a garage, would mean application to the county, plans, inspection, approval, building permit based on size…oh,  and fee.  Don’t forget the fee.  You have to pay a rather tidy fee to be able to build that second building on your own lot, to pay for the variance, you see. 

We work pretty well together, actually.  Its years of practice. I try to anticipate the tool he will need next as invariably it will be on the other side of the project.  I keep an extra screw or two on me at all times as I know he will drop one, or one will be bad or not usable, and he will have gathered just the right amount, usually held in his mouth. I tend to ask a lot of questions, he tends to not always want to answer.  I know when to stop asking questions and he knows when to change his tone.  I am especially quick at adding numbers, even fractions, and he has a method he uses that has baffled me for almost 40 years.  I think the nuns taught it to him or something, so you know, it must be the way to do it.  I blurt out the answer while he goes through this crazy formula and then agrees with me.  Okay, as long as we both get there, and agree on the measurement.  I will just stand here and hold up this building while you calculate this all out. 

But, I am not good at algebra, geometry or any other higher math.  I can add, subtract, divide and multiply.  This week I have been party to the Pythagorean Theorem more times than I can count.  Said outloud.  I got that sucker.  I guess, if you are a builder or somehow in the trade or even a DIYer, it is something you can use your entire life! So, a math teacher could retort “When in your life will you ever use this? When you are building a shed!”

Ta-daaaa

I have a big announcement! We have lumber! We have the beginnings of the floor system. Ladies and Gentlemen, we will have a shed!

 

I am pretty excited, yes.  I know you all have been on the shed journey with me and are celebrating as well.   I hope not to wear hubs completely out with my enthusiasm for this shed but I am so happy to get to this point as we have talked about it for a couple years.

When hubs and I first met, he was a manager of a men’s clothing store.  After being married for a few years, he accepted an offer from a family friend to go to work in a lumber and hardware store. I was pregnant with our third baby at this point.  We were a little nervous as he had absolutely no building experience but the owner knew, with his retail and detail background, he would be great in the inventory area.  He was, but as far as lumber and building, he had a lot to learn.

Our old shed was his first project.  Built from scrap lumber he could salvage at the lumber yard and of his own design, the shed has done its job for many years.  But, folks, come on, it is falling apart.  The floor is all but disappearing before our very eyes.  The shingles? Ha.  It still put a roof over the deck furniture last winter but it is long past its prime. 

He’s had quite a bit of design and building experience since that first shed 30 years ago and I am happy to say the new shed will be a thing of beauty.  We searched out the perfect spot, we have a great design and he has ordered many parts of the construction lumber to be delivered.  I finally got excited about the shed last evening as he and I worked together to set the first floor beams and pull up the pink string that had been outlining what might be.

Our new shed.  The beginning of what is yet to come! We have some other plans for our property over the next year so it is a VERY exciting, and very busy,  time!

Carwaxing nostalgic

I am starting to think ahead to a new car in a year or so and have already tried to think about what kind of car that will be.  Hubs will be retired, I think, and so it will need to accommodate both our needs.  I hate to say it, but I am leaning towards a mini-van. 

I had a mini-van a few years ago and loved it.  We drove it until the wheels almost fell off and it saw some great, fun times.  Plenty of room, could load it up with people and take to the highway.  Since hubs and I plan on doing a little traveling by car when he retires, I am starting to think mini-van.  I’ve done the red car, I’ve done the sports car and am over it, or at least I will be. 

I have a sister-in-law who drives a mini-van.  I think she likes it a lot and can also pile all her grandchildren in when needed.  I wish I could say that is one of my considerations but since my grandkids are all out of town, it’s not like I can pick them up after school and run them to their next event or practice.   Oh, how I wish.  Maybe I just want to remember those times…maybe I am getting nostalgic for those days…when I had a van load of kids, my own and many others, and it was magic.

Yeah. Probably.  Now it would just be creepy for me to pick up a van load of teenagers and take them on the road. 

Late summer slump

I am in a slump.  No interest in cooking dinner.  No interest in going to the grocery store to get items I may need to actually cook dinner.  Oh, I make lists.  I hang them on the fridge but I am really hoping someone else stops by to have a look at it and run to the store.  I haven’t been able to muster up any desire for cooking of late.  I even glance through magazines with pretty food pictures and think “Huh.  That looks yummy”.  But, skip over the ingredients list, ‘cause I am not interested. 

Now, since I am the party in the house that cooks dinner this is a bit inconvenient for hubs.  I have slowly been introducing the idea of sandwiches at dinner.  Rueben, grilled ham and cheese, BLT,  Italian beef and even Philly Cheese.  I have a jar of Cheese Whiz in the fridge right now, as a matter of fact, to make Philly Cheese steak.  He’s good with those.  Hamburgers and hot dogs..yes.  I can even stretch it out to tacos.  But, there aren’t any left overs with sandwiches and even if there are, that means lunch sandwiches AND dinner sandwiches?  That just doesn’t seem fair, does it?  Doesn’t a hard-working guy like my hubs deserve something other than a sandwich twice a day?

But, I’m in a slump.  Summer starting to glance over her shoulder to introduce autumn as she walks in isn't helping.  My mind is going to potato soup, chili and a nice hearty stew, served with crusty bread and soft butter.  But, I can’t do that now…if I do those in August, I’ll be in a soup slump in November.   

I am pretty sure I'll get through it.  I will continue to serve up some special sandwiches till after Labor Day and begin the switch to soup.  Hubs may have to start buying his lunch rather than depend on me for the piles of meat loaf and mashed potatoes I have provided in the past.  I'll stock up on cream of mushroom soup so there's always a possibility of a casserole, his favorite leftover, on the horizon.  Noodles, rice and yes, even those little bags of instant mashed potatoes will line my pantry.  I'll begin thinking about a roast in the crock pot every once in a while. I will go ahead and get some potatoes, too.  Maybe get some cream, and I think I am out of sherry. Maybe a special pasta for a nice, rustic, Italian main dish...and oh yes, bread. I better make a list as I am headed to the store later.   

Hey, I just might pull out of this yet. 
 

Once, in a blue moon, ...

“There’s that one day, just one day, that makes a summer, a year…tonight out on the lake with kids swimming, the sunset, the full moon rising, followed by a surprise fireworks display…this was the day.”

These words, spoken by our nephew around a fire with friends and family, define why we do what we do.  To give the opportunity to get together, to gather and to get to know you.  To laugh and to remember, to agree or disagree, but politely or maybe loudly, and to learn.

I hope you had the night of nights this past weekend, like we did.  I hope you enjoyed the company of loved ones you see often, as well as those you see rarely, like we did.  I hope you laughed hard at silly things, at fond memories and grew reflective for a moment for people and times past and are grateful, so grateful, for what you have been given, like we are. 

‘til next we meet, sweet family, dear friends.

Making memories!

I hate to even mention this but in walking around the yard and woods this morning, there is a definite change in mood, in feel.  We have turned a corner into approaching, gulp, autumn.  Shadows are a little different, sun feels a little different.  You know what I mean…it’s that thing that happens.

However, there are loads of great days ahead.  I am not wishing away this summer thinking about the approaching fall…no, I am going to live these next few weeks up I tell you.  It started this past week, on Thursday, when some super loved family & friends shared one of their stay-cation days with us.  We had the best time with them, and it went on well into the night.  Love those guys so very much.   It was also the first day of a little getaway for our granddaughter and she had THE biggest time of all, sharing with her cousins and friends.  Oh my goodness, she was in heaven.  The only one of her immediate family to be here, she felt big.  She wasn’t, she was the youngest of the kids, but she felt big.  A perfect weekend before school starts next week for her. 

We sent her home after 4 days with super blonde hair from the days on the lake and swimming, swimming and more swimming.  She stayed up late, woke up early and was non-stop.  I wish I would have counted the number of times she jumped in the lake, swam to the ladder and jumped in again.  It had to be in the hundreds.  She did fall asleep on our night cruise when she had hoped to go for a night swim.  Maybe next time as that is a terrific experience.   

I love my lake home so much and the joy it brings to others.   Hubs and I have agreed we need to be more deliberate about what we have here.  Not too many enjoy a lake home, share a lake home.  We are dedicated to recognizing this special situation as not just another house.    It has always been home to us, and treated as such.  Maybe taken for granted in some ways…but no more.  It is not an “empty nest” but a lake home, and memories are made here!

Best laid plans.

So, if at first you don’t succeed, try something different.  

That’s kind of how our week went as my lumberjack proceeded to cut up the perfectly felled tree from a couple weeks ago.  Only he couldn’t.  Poor guy, he had more trouble with dull chain saw blades, wet wood, imbedded chain saw blades, old chain saws, new chain saws.  It is a mess.

One night, after struggling with it for an hour or so, hubs and I sat on the deck.  Me, trying to bolster his enthusiasm for clearing land of trees and brush so the shed building could commence, and him, gazing out in to the yard with a far-away look.   It did not seem to be going well.  A glass of wine might help. 

“What do you think about moving the shed to a new location?” I did a quick spit-take.  Gulp.  Wipe.  “What?”

The solution, after purchasing two new blades, having three blades sharpened and then purchasing a new chain saw, of not being able to cut up the big tree he felled so perfectly only a couple weeks back, was to move the shed?   “You really want to move the location of the shed because you can’t get that tree cut up?” “Yup.”  It was worse than I thought.

We had already jokingly determined it would be just fine to leave the dang tree there and build the shed in front of it, which would require moving it a bit forward.  This time he was talking about a whole new location in a whole different part of the yard.  This cannot be determined quickly…this might interfere with other plans that are brewing in MY head.  That’s kind of where I wanted the gypsy wagon, yet revealed, to go.  I told him I thought this a silly idea, and admittedly, scoffed.

Then a couple days later I walked the yard.  I looked from the deck, I looked from the woods, I looked from the lake.  Oh, it wouldn’t be so bad for the shed to go in that new location.  My gypsy wagon can go somewhere else, if it goes.   He’s frustrated, he works so hard, he has a new chain saw so those smaller trees that would need to go will be easier, he's got a nagging wife…there’s reasons why the shed could move.  I still get to decide color and windows so it’s not some utilitarian looking building stuck in the yard, but one with cuteness and character.  Okay, let’s move the shed.

Now it’s late July and our spring project is still in development and not a stick of wood for the actual construction of the shed has been delivered.  But, we do have a partially cleared space and a plan.  Progress!

Send a postcard. Something.

My son and his beautiful, fun-loving and ambitious bride are moving across the country.  I am going to miss them so…

Here’s the thing.  They live a little over an hour from us now and we rarely see them.  Well, rare might be a bit strong, but, we see them much less than we see the two girls.  I sort of “knew” it would be that way as I know we see the girls more than their in-laws do.  I’ve always believed that boys leave their mothers and girls just bring boys along.  I think that’s even biblical, right?  My son has always had one foot out the door but not until he met this wonderful girl did he get on the move.

So, she has accepted a position a half continent away and they’re off! I am excited for them as they plan their next adventure together.  Married two years and already a lot of miles in their captain’s log, they leave for the Pacific Northwest in just a few weeks.  Because she is ambitious and wants to learn as much as she can about her profession, she hopes to start her doctorate while she is out there, which, feasibility tells us, means they will stay put, perhaps, while she works on that AND continues her occupational therapy career in a school system.  That’s a good thing, too, as she will have the time to do so without the caseload she experienced in Cook County.   

I am a big fan of this couple, as are most everyone they meet.  They are open, friendly, giving, quirky, accepting at face-value people.  They can be ready for an experience at the drop of the hat and both love their families so much that they try to make every family event they can.  Sometimes they can’t, and that’s okay because it’s never that they didn’t feel it, it’s more like they have some opportunity to do something the rest of will never try, or see, or taste. Or it could be they have a new guest, a “couch surfer” coming in and they need to prepare for the arrival.  Look it up.  Couch surfing.  It’s real, and they are both users and providers of this service.

We will miss them being around, for sure.  The time we get to spend with them may be rare, and becoming more so, but, most of us, in small ways and not so small, want to BE them.  Carry on, good young people.  Live a grand life, a big life.  Just be sure to keep in touch. 

Sharing the love.

Today is a rainy day in my little corner of the world.  I have spent a few minutes this morning looking out on what could be considered a dreary day, thinking about the rest of the summer’s plans and reflecting on what will be remembered as one of my best weekends of all time. 

July 4, 2015 is history but brought with it moments of such joy, such fun that it will be fresh in my mind for quite a while.  We filled this yard and home with people we love so very much ~ our family and friends.  While it wasn’t quite everyone we love, it was a big portion.  I mean, you know, we have to share a little. 

So while it’s a bit of a dreary day, I look out on the yard and remember two little boys giggling and running, three old friends laughing and catching up, teenagers being awkward and goofy, little girls swinging, men watching the brats being grilled and talking home remodeling.  I see my brother and his wife, whom I spend too little time with, taking it all in from their spot under the tent.  I must remember to invite them over again this summer, for a cruise on the lake and something a little more intimate!

We partied this 4^th of July.  We had food fit for royalty, we had desserts and sweets and a huge bowl of popcorn…a family tradition carried on by my sister-in-law, with salt and fresh butter, legendary really.  Nothing brings people together like a huge shared bowl of popcorn. 

We will come together again, I’m sure, but this was a special 4^th it seems to me.  After raining most of June, we were given 4 days of glorious sun and gentle breezes.  While it’s back to drizzle and rain today, those 4 glorious days are cemented in history. 

As I look out on the yard, coming awake to a fresh drink from the skies, I acknowledge how very, very lucky I am, how very blessed, to live in such a place.  But my true blessings are the family and friends I have been given to love.