A new holiday twist.

A few years ago, at the home of a co-worker, I was inspired to put up a separate and small tree with just Santa ornaments.  I had a few and thought hers was so pretty and fun, that I wanted much the same.  Now, she had a tall, skinny tree and it was just packed with Santa ornaments...very cool.  I think she called it a pencil tree but I may be totally making that part up.  My tree is only about 36 inches tall.  I do not have nearly the number of ornaments that she has. 

So a few years into it, (like at least fifteen!) I really love my Santa tree.  We have had a second tree, a live one, until a few years ago.  I got a great deal on an artificial tree after the kids all left for college and started using it.   Its too big though, and takes up way more space than I have to devote to trees.  I have some great ornaments, some beautiful ones, other than the Santas, so I have always had a second tree, rather live or this newer artificial one, for these beauties. 

This year, we were going to be out of town on the holiday weekend.  All children in one location, but not our home city.  It was going to be a different Christmas in a lot of ways, but being in a whole different town was certainly a new twist.  Not only that, but, there was going to be a small group on Christmas Eve, just our youngest and her husband and me and hubs. We were all going to be together on Christmas day.  

The unusual started first with a decision I made at Thanksgiving to not put up the big tree.  The Santa tree went up in a new spot and some other decorations came out but, not the big tree.  Instead, we hung lit garland up over the counter and hung ornaments from the garland.  I LOVE IT! No big tree, the house is still decorated and everyone can see the ornaments. 

I think I am going to continue this new style of decorating for the holidays.  I have plans to get a four foot pencil tree next year for the Santa collection, if I need or want to.  But next year, who knows, I may have another new twist! 

Is Cleveland right?

Here’s the thing.  I want this economy to recover.  I really do.  I am so fatigued with it.  I want gas prices to level out, I want food prices to be reasonable, I wouldn’t mind if new home builds increased and people got to go to work.  I think people really do want to work for what they have.   

Last night I watched a report on Cleveland, where foreclosed and abandoned homes are being torn down to at least prevent the vacancy issues that plague so many neighborhoods.  I can imagine this helps with vermin and what not, but how very sad.  The report said 1,000 homes have been torn down in 2011 and they have 20,000 on the list.  

As sad as this report seems, I also see it as hope.  I hope people are able to buy those lots, borrow money at a reasonable rate and term, with honesty and integrity on both sides, find a reputable contractor with a solid, dependable crew and build a modest home that will accommodate their family.  Not a mansion, not with imported marble or ancient stone dug from the bottom of the Mediterranean or something, but a nice, solid, home with a large enough living room and kitchen that will allow their family to be together, warm, cozy and fed.  

Not a monument where every kid has their own TV and xbox 4 trillion, but a home where maybe the boys share a room, share their history and share themselves. A nice bedroom for the parents, where they can sleep and store their clothes...not an “oasis to escape to their own private lives”.  A family home.  Maybe Cleveland will show us how to return to the more practical middle.   

I wish you peace, hope, warmth, safety and love.   

Ban the bomb.

I am not a prude.  I really am not.  

Did I miss a memo?

What’s with the f-bomb making its way into every day conversation from and to everybody?  Am I to understand there are no longer any “dirty words”? So its a free for all, right? A language free for all.  I need to adjust my thinking because now, we all get to say whatever we want, no matter our age, education  or upbringing?   I wish I would have known as there have been a few times in the last five years, even in the last week, where if I had known that using whatever words I wanted, whatever came to my mind, was perfectly acceptable...well, gee, this granny would have taken a few people to task.  I don’t have to be polite, genteel or considerate.  I can let it fly.   Awesome. 

I try my best to keep current but profanity for profanity’s sake is not something that’s on my radar.  In fact, here’s an example.  A few weeks ago I was at the gas station and was outside my car filling the tank.  At the pump on the other side was a well dressed man in his 40s, driving a BMW.  Pulling up right behind him was another man, not quite as well dressed, also in his 40s or so.  I’m going to call him man #2.  Their dialogue, shouted over man #2’s car engine, while man #1 fiddled with the gas nozzle went something like this:

Man #2:  Hey! How have you been?  

Man #1:  Great! How about you? How’s the Mrs? 

Man #2:  Oh she’s got me driving all over the f***ing town looking for some f***ing part to her f***ing washing f***ing machine like I am some f***ing plumber!  I can’t get my own f***ing sh** done because of the f***ing sh** she has me doing!  But, other than that f***ing sh**, she’s good.  

Man #1:  I get you! My f***ing wife has already called me three times on my f***ing phone to give me a f***ing list of things to do while I am out.  F*** that sh**! I have got my own f***ing sh** to do.  She can get the f*** off the couch and do it herself! 

Did I mention the toddler in the back seat of the BMW? 

Charming.  

Monday Musings

I have a few questions and  maybe you do, too.  Here we go.

What the heck happened to the price of ground beef? I just returned from the grocery store and I could buy a Sirloin Tip Roast for $2.49 per pound.   Ground Beef, not even Ground Chuck, was “on special” for $2.99 per pound.  Ground Chuck was $3.99 per pound.  What happened?

Why does gas fluctuate almost 30 cents in a day, go down the next day by five cents and then back up the next day eight cents?  If the grocery store can keep the same price on an item for at least a week, why can’t gas stations?  Please don’t try to explain this to me using terms like futures, crude and pork bellies.   I don’t get it.  

Why when you look at a recipe online and read the reviews is there always at least one person who posts “This is the best recipe EVER.  I tweaked it a little bit by adding…” and proceeds to list 5 or 6 more ingredients.  I just looked for a simple broccoli cheddar soup recipe, just to make sure I had everything I needed on hand.  The first review said that exact statement and then listed these “tweaks” 1 slice pepper jack cheese, two garlic cloves, 1 cubed Yukon Gold potato, diced celery, crumbled bacon.  What the heck? Write your own recipe blog, fella, and leave the broccoli cheddar soup alone. 

Why when you get your hair cut can it not be just like the last time? Why is it just enough different to not work the way you want it to? Fortunately, for most haircuts,  there is only a three day adjustment time and then it will be just fine.  

Why, when I am ready to sit down and prepare a blog entry are the batteries on either my wireless mouse or my wireless keyboard “critically low” and there are no batteries in the charger?  I know the answer to this one but a certain gentleman that lives in this house and  takes  pictures for his ebay sales may disagree.

To do or do not

Last year at this time, I had no idea of the joys I had ahead.  Baby grandboy born last week, the second daughter expecting her first in the spring and my son and his lovely girlfriend have announced they will wed!  This, my friends, was quite the Thanksgiving! 

I am watching out my window this morning and boy, its taking a turn out there.  Things are getting that gray, cold, fuzzy look and the trees are bare.  While I know what’s ahead, I can’t help but take in this day and be distracted for a time.   

There are things I should be doing.   I hear myself say “I’ll do that later” throughout the day.  While that is fine, there is a slight problem in delaying housework and things can really get more unpleasant, can’t they?   Although I have tried for over 30 years, this house won’t care for itself. 

My second problem is, I am married to a do-er.  He knows things that need to be done and just does them.  He plans his day and makes a mental “to do” and tackles it.  I usually have no idea what that plan is, but, he gets up busy and crashes in his recliner, and up to the moment his eyes close,  busy.  We have this unspoken agreement and he clears off the dinner dishes.  He doesn’t do them, mind you, but he clears it all away.   

I go to the couch and select what we will spend the next hour watching on television.  Sometimes, it has already been selected and is underway as we do have our favorite shows and some of them are disturbing in the mediocrity, to be honest.   It’s only an hour because he will be asleep in his chair within that hour.  My hubs has always amazed me in that he can walk in to a room and within five seconds be totally engrossed in a show.  He does not like political shows or debates about the economy, so we stay away from CNN.  But, it also amazes me how quickly he can be asleep in that chair. 

Here’s another thing about the hubs and television.  He can remember actresses from commercials or bit parts fifteen years ago.  “What’s she been on?” is a recurring question.  Then, within moments he’ll pull out some obscure show or commercial.  Notice I said actresses.  He never asks about males.  Never.  I pointed this out to him last week; he denies.  Of course, now on his list is to notice an actor from eons ago so he can ask me where we have seen him before.

My review of WEN

I told you all that I was trying a new “infomercial” shampoo. A few weeks ago I ordered WEN cleanser by Chaz Dean from QVC. The promise is that it will make your hair different – better different. So, I thought, what the heck? I’ll try it.

First, it is not cheap. Far from cheap. You can sometimes stumble upon a QVC special and it will be slightly discounted or available on what they call “Easy Pay” which breaks it down into 3 or so payments. I am a HUGE fan of Easy Pay. Anyway, it is expensive for the difference.

Is there a difference? It is really kind of hard to tell. I can say that my hair behaves really well. It blows dry like a dream and is super easy to style. It is soft. It is shiny. It has quite a bit of body. It is not growing any new hair in, but that wasn’t one of the promises! Durn. Anyway, I could maybe get this same result if I was using other products but I have to say, it may be subtle, but, I do think my hair seems better. The other thing is that my scalp feels better. Sometimes it felt quite dry, and itchy, so I like that it feels better.

Another plus is that my hair now holds the style all day. I don’t touch my hair from the time I dry it until maybe bedtime…if then. That’s also new. My hair is pretty fine and even with “product” in my hair, would be pretty flat at the end of the day for sure but often after just a couple hours.

Now for the shocker. I am not one for a face washing routine, so this next benefit is a good one for me…I wash my face with it, including taking off any left-over mascara, when the cleanser is still in my hands from doing my hair. There is no sting, it rinses off cleanly and no mascara left.

The deal is, there isn’t any detergent in the WEN system…it’s really not “shampoo” as is a cream cleanser. It does feel quite a bit like conditioner and it doesn’t lather. It takes a LOT and then a LOT of rinsing, but I have been able to dial it way back , since I have been using it for several weeks. If you do not use enough, do not rinse enough, you are not going to enjoy the product!  I also, on most days, don’t cleanse twice. I can’t imagine how much faster I would go through a large bottle if I had long hair and cleansed twice.

Daughter #1 tried the cleanser while visiting, and didn’t think there was a change. She was easy on the amount she used. Now, she is one that has not spent a lot of time fussing with her hair over the years…a wash and wear gal. Aside from blow drying, and hitting her hair with the straightener to get it smooth, she’s not investing in hair. She’s got great hair, which is quickly changing color as she is in her child bearing years. I would love to encourage her to try the cleanser for an extended period but I know her…she’s too frugal. She is so funny. Wears the same clear mascara I introduced her to in her early teen years because she has black eyelashes so what’s the point? That’s my girl. I do wonder if it would restore her natural color though, which is one of the benefits discussed in the presentation of the product.

Daughter #2 is using the cleanser – I shared mine with her. She likes her hair products and I thought this might be just the thing for her. I haven’t gotten a good sense of how she feels about it yet and she just cut her long hair back to her more favored short style. I am not sure short styles show the impact of the benefits as much as long, but her hair looks great.

My final verdict is if you enjoy a good, quality cleanse of your hair, leaving it soft, easy to style and shiny, then you should think about trying WEN. You have to commit to it and be ready to invest some shocking funds. Okay, that’s not quite true but it is expensive. If you are a hair girl, though, and can let go of lather, it’s great. If your hair isn’t a big deal to you, like you think “Eh, baby shampoo works.” or something along those lines, you might be disappointed in the cost versus the benefit.

We have a newly elected young mayor in my small town.  She brings an incredible resume, a generous heart, a big smile and a determination that is infectious.  During her campaign, she has energized believers and challenged prejudices.  She won her race with dignity and brought people into the arena that have not previously participated. She facilitated the weaving of those people into the fiber of a political cloth made up of the “same old, same old” to give new life to some pretty worn out duds.  

I went to the party last night for this newly elected bright star and arrived just in time to hear her declared the winner, the finish line crossed.  She was surrounded by those who believe in her, who trust her, who converted to her.  As a young woman who has some friends in some very high places, she was present in a group of high school friends, both old and new, who campaigned with vigor, and she was equally present in the center of the party patriarchs.    

But, to me, the one who observes, I watched her dad tear up as he hugged his girl.  Her mom beamed with pride...they didn’t know for the longest time that I was even there...which made it perfect for me.  (I tried to find her mom just after arriving but have you ever been a short person, looking for a short person, in a crowded room?) Those moments will be forever in my memory.  I watched her older brother, who holds a forever place in my heart, give her a victory high five and then, and this is it folks, step back, pull her to him and kiss her on the cheek.  It warmed me to my very center.   

One last thing... I have dipped my toe into the murkiness of political waters, holding the beach towel as others frolicked.  It was definitely fringe involvement, but it was fun last night to catch eyes as people passed me, no doubt wondering why I was there, who I was or what I had in mind.  To see the “Who is that?” question cross their face, as they were sure they knew me from somewhere, cracked me up.   To those of you who know me well, you have to know I took pleasure in those awkward, uncomfortable moments.  Being at a political event is much like being in a lunchroom at high school, you have to eat, but where do you sit? 

What a whirlwind!

I’ve had a really great couple of weeks...I’ve talked about it to many of you and have mentioned it here in my blog a time or two as well.  Life is good, indeed.  

I have really enjoyed reliving some past events, seeing some old friends and family members, sharing lots of laughs, meeting new friends and had some new experiences.  I wish every month could be as fun-filled as my October has been.  I had a birthday, an anniversary and for a brief minute even thought I might have my new grandchild in October.  But, that was just practice. 

How can my November top my October? Well, I should get that grandbaby....that’s going to be a big plus.    There’s Thanksgiving of course...that’s probably my favorite holiday, as long as everyone has Friday off.  Oh, I have a job outside the home now.  I may actually have to work on Friday! Yikes! That’s alright; I love being at work. 

I also have our annual “chili party” planned for family.  As our family grows, its getting more and more fun to look forward to.  I will see if my weather prediction for the first weekend in November always being fabulous works out.  Otherwise, its a good thing we’re family and get along because we will be squeezed in! We have been before, however, and it works out! 

So I guess I DO have a lot to look forward to in November.  It will be a month filled with excitement, fun and family.  My goodness, how did I get to be so lucky? What about YOU? 

Was that a year? Really?

Today is my birthday and although I worked today I did spend a little time reflecting over the last year, to see what's different, what's the same and what needs to change.  I prefer to do this kind of thing around my birthday rather than New Year's Eve; to me, it just makes more sense.

I really, really like my new job.  It is not enough money...there is not enough time in the day to get everything done but, for the time being, that's okay.  We can visit those issues later.   I am so enjoying being with the art everyday, I can't even tell you.  There's some minor adjustments that will need to be made along the way to some of the processes that I work with every day, but I really like it.  The people are great as well.

Someone said to hubs last week that the job comes with its own social life and that is so true.  I've had two events and one dinner to attend! Me, who never left the house to the concern of my friends and family!  I am very grateful as one of the things that needed to change, if I were being honest, was that I need to be out and amongst it.  Check.

I looked at my face for a while in the mirror this morning and felt okay about what I saw.  I see my mom's neck there but that's to be expected, I guess.   I again thought to myself "Not bad, not bad" as I took a brief survey of the lumps and bumps of me.  I don't sweat the weight gain and the gravity drain as some others might.  I just don't want to be burdened with thinking about that ALL the time.

You know about my hair cut and my change of shampoo.  My hair is growing super fast but is not looking much thicker than it was.  I've got thin spots to be sure, but my hair is healthy and shiny and I like it alright.  So. My nails are super tough.  My feet swell and my legs sometimes hurt.  Still can't get to sleep every night but I get to sleep most nights so that's good.  I think all in all, I like me pretty well.  I looked in the mirror and thought, again, not bad for a bird your age, Cindi Lou.  Just like last year,  I thought "Yep, not bad for 56." Do the math...57, not 56.  Why can't I get that right?

Back in the saddle.

Hubs and I went to our big capitol city over the weekend and while there enjoyed a visit to a pumpkin patch to help the granddaughter pick out pumpkins.  The pumpkin patch we visited was like pumpkin patch infinity as was far more than just a pumpkin patch.

There was so much to do at this patch that it can not be called a patch.  It was a production.  It was incredible!  After being directed to park for a $5 fee, we tumbled out of the mini-van with two pregnant daughters and their husbands, and the princess who allows us to dally in her domain. 

As we walked through the gates of the bustling farm,  her eye landed on small horses being guided around a circular loop, young riders on their backs.  A new adventure and I agreed as soon as she pointed her little finger and said she wanted to do that.  We stood in line, paid our fee and soon she was having her first pony ride.  Mommy walked along, with Daddy managing the camera and close by,  and a staff member was on the other side of the pony.  The little girl in pigtails, who holds my heart in the palm of her hand, bounced along on that little pony and grinned her biggest grin.  Mommy smiled big, too, and Daddy snapped away, taking great pictures. 

Something went slightly awry about halfway through the well worn route,  the pony danced, shook and the granddaughter sort of fell off/was pulled off and caught. Staff members came scurrying over and the pony was calmed, Mommy reassured and the little girl was plopped back into the saddle.  Not being sure what spooked the little guy, named LeRoy, the staff suggested it might be the sound of Mommy’s keys, attached to her purse handle.  

The pony finished its circuit and came to a halt, carrying the brave little princess, her smile not quite as confident but still in place.   She was lifted out of her saddle by a teary eyed Papa.  She informed us that LeRoy was scared, and so was she, but she liked it. 

I can’t get over how brave of her to get back in that saddle to “try again”, which is one of her favorite phrases, usually with a giggle.  I can’t get over how brave of Mommy and Daddy, either!   I can’t get over how quickly my heart melts, again and again. 

Can I stand any more?

Along with my new job, I decided to go for a new haircut.  A new style.  My hair had gotten pretty long, almost too long and while somewhat easy to take care of, it could be a bit of a pain as I'm definitely not a pony tail girl.  I decided to go for something a bit more trendy, to fit my new job and my personality...a bit of spunk.

About three weeks ago I decided to try this cleansing system for my hair that you see advertised on infomericals and I gotta tell ya, I like it.  Is it better than all the other products out there? Time will tell, but so far, I like it.  I especially liked it the week I tried it on my longer hair.   I'll keep posting how that product works for me in case any of you have wondered about it.

All in all, then, my life is pretty good, right? Well, grab on to yourself or your loved one because the NEXT thing is my youngest and her husband announced her pregnancy! I am so over the moon with it I can hardly bear it.  Two pregnant daughters and more grandchildren on the way.  Life is good, very good.

Here is what happened to me today, however.  I was standing in front of the mirror, fixing my new do for my trip in to my new job, feeling pretty good about myself and my life, maybe even whistling,  when it occurred to me that I have seen this longer, somewhat shaggy, side swept hair cut...it's Justin Bieber hair.  Oy. I have opted to have my hair cut like a boy pop star.

"Ya'll come". So I did.

Had the great good fortune of visiting family, a small reunion of sorts, at my brother's cabin in Kentucky over the weekend.  I couldn't tell you exactly WHERE I was, but I was in a sort of remote little slice of heaven for two and a half days.

The cabin is located somewhere outside of Cadiz, Kentucky.  I am not sure what body of water, and I couldn't tell you if it is north, south, east, or west of Cadiz.  Part of the mystery and charm is not knowing.  I felt worlds away but I did go in to town and do some shopping with two of my sisters-in- law, after about a twenty minute twisty turny ride.

Being in the cabin in the woods, with a great fire pit and a spectacular location would seem kind of redundant since I have woods, a fire pit table and, you know, a pretty wonderful view of my own, but, there is something about being somewhere other than home.  My brother and his wife are wonderful hosts and you don't want for anything while in their care.  There is no cell phone, no internet, no distractions other than from the squawking heron, the calling owl and the occasional skittering in the woods of deer and raccoon.  Yes, I have all these same sounds, but it's different I tell ya.

Originally hoping for all of the family to be able to go, it was not possible for my three kids, nor my third sister-in-law, nephews and families.  So it was just "us".  The grown-ups.  My niece and her family came over for a brief visit on Friday evening so I saw great nieces I had not yet met, and got to catch up with the young wife and mother, whom I last saw as a new bride.  It's stupid to let too much time pass before you see family, let me just say that.

We ate, we laughed, there was fishing, boating, shopping and bourbon.  It was fast, fun and familiar.  I want to go back tomorrow.  To laugh with my brothers, whose memories are as long as love and who make me laugh.  My cabin owning brother is generous, inviting anyone to stay, to visit, to come.  He reminds me of "home".  My other brother, was asked by a visitor "How many brothers and sisters are there?" He replied "Three".  I looked at him and said "Well, gee, there's four of us here."  We laughed and laughed over that one.  Musta been the bourbon.

My mama said

Good things come to those who wait, so my mama told me. She also told me you can’t hurry love. That there would be days like this. And, to always wear clean underwear, in case I end up in ER.


Last week I announced the end of a chapter as I set out to find a new job outside of my home-based business. I began with a cheery outlook but as I searched a few pages and stayed up late going through websites and postings, I wasn’t finding much, I had one hour or so of a bit of panic.

I’ve been through a fair amount and determined what kind of setting I would need to be in. Collaborative, supportive, creative and true. I am very much aware of who I am and I am more aware than ever of what I will and will not surround myself with, and who, and I determined that had to be so in my work life as much as anywhere else.   I’ve done the whole working for someone and pretending to be someone else…like someone who likes them, for example…and I determined I was not going down that path. I crawled out of that quagmire, just by the hair of my chiny chin chin. (and that's not a waxing reference!) We have probably all read the articles about how to present yourself, what to ask, what to wear and say. Nope. I will be Cindi. I will wear what I am comfortable wearing and I will find the place that fits me. I can’t hide my 56 year old face and body, so, here you have me. Glorious, capable and fun ME.

The clouds opened and revealed a perfect location for me, and a job I can certainly perform. At – get this people who know me well – a center for the arts. The Arts. Can you believe it? The interview went well, the wait excruciating but in the end, perfection. The Arts! I start next week and not doing the job I actually interviewed for but one that is so much more.

So it’s next chapter time, folks. The people are smart, fun and ooze creativity. The conversations lively, animated and honest. Man. Someone PINCH me!

Don't try this at home

Were you one of those unfortunate women a few years ago who burned their neck with a curling iron?  A few trips to the hair dresser and we took note that “Hey, they put the comb between my head and the curling iron, like a shield!” I have memories of many, many friends with big hickey like burns on their necks, their foreheads, their palms...yes, palms.  A result of grabbing the curling iron as it slid off the bathroom sink. 

I haven’t used a curling iron in years, however, a couple weeks ago an equally freakish and ridiculously stupid burn happened to my décolletage.   You see -  and this is for you young women who have yet to experience the joys of menopause, as well as for my peeps, who can relate - when you pass a certain age, along with male pattern baldness, you can begin to “sprout little tiny hairs all out your face” (that was either Steve Martin or Bill Cosby, Google it) and they can be a bit embarrassing.  So, a solution is to wax.  Now, a lot of us allow a professional to perform this barbaric act, but there are also women of pioneer stock such as myself who will attempt this torture on their own.  I have wax and I have a microwave. 

Usually, this goes pretty well.  Oh, its uncomfortable for a brief period, but I’m careful, making sure the wax is warmed to the consistency of honey, like it says on the instructions.  Sometimes it has "hot spots" but that's why you stir it, and it cools a bit as I move to the bathroom mirror.   Its over and done with in a quick few minutes and I’m on my way.  I’ve learned how to put it in the microwave and stir it, and put it back in, and stir it, and put it back in, then stir it.  The problem came about because, well, I guess because it has reduced in volume through using it for a few months and this last time, that last microwave spin created a bubble at the bottom of the cup. 

So, I began to stir with the plastic tongue depressor thingy that came with the bright blue wax but the bubble was there and it “popped”.  Much like lava in a volcano and hot wax jettisoned out of the cup and onto my chest. I mean it hurt like H.E. double hockey sticks ladies and gentlemen, and I’m not even kidding.  I knew it was hurling towards me and I ducked, if that’s even possible and some how avoided my face.  I turned my head, too, and wax flung itself into my hair.  

I spent the next few minutes peeling wax off my chest before I realized it was also skin.  Ew.  That’s gross.  I also had to cut chunks of hardened wax out of my hair (sorry Rhonda, who styled my hair the day before).  I looked down at a favorite deep magenta tank top, now splattered with bright blue wax.  Durn. 

I didn’t cry.  I have cried more when pulling the wax off my upper lip than peeling it off my chest, which included skin! Now, it hurt but how can little tiny hairs hurt so much more?  Some of it probably was the adrenaline and the need to get the wax off me was kind of in charge.   Anyway, a few days of neosporine and a vitamin E drop or two and my wounds are healed although they might scar a little.  The top went to the garbage, the hair has blended in and I scraped the wax off the kitchen floor.  

That night, as I relayed the day's events to hubs,  I pulled back the neck of my shirt to show him the burns and he was horrified, empathetic and sweet.  And dumbfounded.  “Wait, you put hot wax on your lip?”  Innocent babe.

It is time for me to wax and I looked at that cup yesterday for a long, long time and decided against it.   I may just have a full Magnum P.I. by Thanksgiving. 

Oh, these times they are a changing

Along with the seasonal changes, I am beginning a change.  I have decided to leave my  independent contractor status and have started to job search.  I did an evaluation of where I am, where I want to be and all that.  I brushed up my resume and I’m starting out.  I am pretty excited, and looking forward to what life next holds for me. 

I have really enjoyed the last four years.  Its given me time to do a little repair, a little shoring up and no, I am not referring to the house.  I had a bit of work to do on me, and now seems like a good time to leave the workshop and test the product.  I feel good about me, and that says a lot. 

When you are in this place, ready to begin a new adventure, there is bound to be a little hesitation.  Its been a while.  My clothes are all wrong.  I no longer own anything other than flats and flip flops.  I will have to work my way back in to make up.  I'll get there, to be sure.  I look forward to seeing faces, rather than just hearing voices and reading words.  

I am filled with anticipation, excitement.  I know what I want and I know what I do not.  I am more sure of who I am now than I have been in 10 years or more.  It will be different, it will be new and it will be me! 

Wish me luck! 

More on signs

Last week I posted about the signs we should wear when we want people to approach us a certain way.  Maybe we are sensitive or just, well, cranky, and a sign could certainly help. 

I thought about this over the week and heard from a few of my closies (I made that word up!) who wondered if I was referring to them.  Not referring to anyone, just an observation, folks, about things that most of us could take ownership of at one time or another. 

Of course, there are a variety of signs that each of us could wear, every day.  From the outside, and without a sign, one may never guess that we are lonely, weary, sick, confused.  We put on that other happy face sign.  If we can’t quite muster the happy face, we may just put on empty face.  Ever heard of someone who never gets out?  Maybe just not able to put on a face, or wear a sign. 

I am constantly amazed by, and work to avoid, my own misperceptions of people.  Along with being sometimes cranky (hey, I can admit it!),  I have been, often, wrong (harder to admit!).   I am reminded of a beautiful friend, who works full time, has a great family and a busy church life.  She is also sometimes lonely, often alone and yearns for a “girlfriend”.  I would not have guessed.  She wasn't wearing that sign, but, brave soul, expressed her needs out loud.  Love her for that.  

This circles back to the “empty nest” misperception as well.  Even though I am campaigning against the feelings of “empty” in my own life, and maybe even making some headway, I have to know, have to see, that others may not be, in the words of Charlie Sheen, winning.  When we look upon others, please remember, it is not a race.  Slow down so others can catch up.  Step to the side so someone can join you.  Don’t forget to look for the signs that someone needs you, cause someone does.  It may not be who you were expecting, and double bonus, you just might need them, too.  

Signs

I have made loads of mistakes in my life...too many to list.  A mistake is a one time thing.  It was a mistake, I learned from it and now, move on. 

When a mistake is repeated it is no longer a mistake but a bad choice.  After all, I made the mistake,  saw the outcome and now I am choosing to do it again.  Then we march on to the definition of insanity...repeating an action and expecting a different outcome.  

Sometimes the mistake was expressing an opinion or view, in a free flow of conversation.  But today, the conversation takes a turn because, well, either it was misunderstood, too personal or, on some days, just not the right day.   

Wouldn’t it be awkward but, beneficial,  if we all wore signs that read “Sensitive today” “Hormonal” “Mad at the World, and that includes YOU”? Wouldn’t it help in our conversations if we knew how to approach each other on certain days?  On days you didn’t have a sign, we would just be like always...ourselves.  Or, we could wear a sign everyday...mine would always read "Blunt" I think.  Or maybe I could just change my name to Frank.  There are days when we are not our typical self, and a conversation that would be fine tomorrow, can not be held today.  

Naturally, bringing your own mood into a typed conversation, whether email, text or facebook...yikes.  That's a whole different can of worms, isn't it? Where's my sign now, lady? How was I to know? 

Is it better to approach everyone, everyday, like they are on eggshells? I am not sure...I think that might be insincere.  I know to speak and write with kindness, gentleness, empathy.  I can with you, if you need it today.  I have a feeling, and we have a history, though, that is not how we usually are with each other.  So, can you hook a sister up and give me a sign?   

Shimmies and similarities

I had the most entertaining weekend I have had in a very long time.  It started Friday night as we enjoyed a lovely wedding ceremony and reception for a childhood friend of our middle child.  They were cheerleaders together in high school, were together all through their elementary, middle and high school years.  It was so nice to have been included and the bride was stunning. 

Now, along with hubs and middle daughter, who’s husband could not attend, we took our two and a half year old princess.  She’s developing her boundaries and showed us a thing or two about who we think we are, anyway.  She was a doll during the ceremony, only a little squirmy, then a pistol at dinner, rejecting her chicken fingers but going whole hog for the bread and butter, and cake.   Then the music started.   Oh my.  She danced, she swayed, she jumped, she spun.  Yes, she crawled on her belly like a reptile at one point.   She walked up to strangers and took them by their hands and wanted to spin.  She forced herself into a circle of dancing nurses (the bride is a NICU nurse) and demanded the attention of each one.  She even danced her way in between the bride and groom and then, took over the groom, leading him away from the laughing, and perplexed, bride.  She was, in a word, precocious.  But, adorably so.  

She also shrugged off Papa, who tried to corral her on the dance floor, apologizing as he scurried after her.  Having none of it, she ran to the next unsuspecting dancer and jumped up and down in front of them.   Each one responded in kind, giving her a twirl and a shimmy.  

The wedding was a beautiful event and brought together two cultures ~ the groom is Serbian.  The women were gorgeous, thin and sparkly.  The men were intense and jovial with each other.  Affection wound its way through each table and group.   I loved every moment of the ceremony, with prayers delivered in two languages. I was honored to be included, and tried to appreciate the subtle similarities, alongside the differences,  in the traditions.  

To watch the two year old, turn her beaming,  fair complexion, blonde haired self to the dark, handsome groom, each of them happy, each of them smiling and appreciative of  the other, warmed me with pleasure.   If we could all find where we stand alike rather than where we stand apart.  

Pimento Cheese and other thoughts...

I have been handed some great recipes in the past and some I remember to get out; some, I forgot I had and rediscover after a long drought. I’ve been digging in recipes, as I often do, to find some sort of inspiration for dinner.  Its not always easy as I don’t always feel like it.   

One recipe I recently came across was for my aunt’s pimento cheese spread.  If you haven’t tried home-made pimento cheese spread, otherwise known in some parts as “PC” or “Carolina Caviar”, you don’t know what you are missing.  Folks doctor it up in all sorts of ways but my favorite is shredded cheddar, mayonnaise (not the fake sweet creamy white miracle of sandwich spreads folks, MAYONNAISE), pimentos, a dash of Tobasco and pecan chips.  You notice that there are no measurements there...because I have no idea.  Just whatever looks right.  Dangerous on saltines while dinner cooks or waits to be cooked....

Another recent discovery is the absolutely fabulous four cheese rosa jarred sauce for pasta.  Its a brand name, Bertolli I think, is slightly pink and has tomato you can see in the jar.  On some pasta with peppers and sausage, if you have it and is how I met it, or alone on some shape or another, its fantastic stuff.  Thanks to my sister-in-law for this one.  Does not have the “canned” taste like some alfredo sauces I have had and has that nice undertone of tomato.  Try some! Be sure you get the Four Cheese Rosa, not the Vodka Tomato Cream Sauce...entirely different.  

Finally, my recipe for today comes from my youngest child.  I threw it in the crock pot a few minutes ago and will serve it up later with a packaged cornbread muffin mix.  Slow Cooker Chicken Taco Soup and can be found online at allrecipes.com.   This is an amazingly good and quick soup, a little reminiscent of chili but not quite as heavy.  Good stuff and freezes well, which is awesome as it makes a LOT.  Good for company, too.  Thanks youngest child! 

I just realized I have referred to three of my very favorite people in these great tips.  Wow...that is a coincidence not planned.  Isn’t life grand? 

Update to the strainers!

So, I have heard from several of you that you are now the proud owner of the strainer set.  That's awesome and I hope they bring you luck and fortune.  I do want to add that I saw a similar set at Target with a different bold color for each size.   They are almost twice the price, however.  But, they were also very neat. Very.

Shiny memories

Ever been camping? I have only been a handful of times, maybe a dozen.  Tonight for dinner I made some awesome “hobo” foil packets ~ they are a good small nest entree.  It made me remember some really good times from a few years ago when camping. 

Hubs was not much of a camper and I had only been once or twice as a young, single, woman on a motorcycle date with some other couples.  Not much to tell there.  Can’t remember the guy’s name or how I even knew the others, but, off we went for a weekend of camping and riding.  I remember feeling extremely cool but other than that, eh. 

Tonight, hobo packs on my gas grill reminded me of camping with families I love and the fun we had.  The first trip, as many of you will remember, was about 30 degrees at night.  It was COLD.  My instructions were few, my layers many.  It was arranged that we would gather for a group breakfast the first morning.  There was my friend, boy scout  mom, making some fantastic thing in some fancy pie maker jobs over the fire.  Over there was my friend, pioneer woman, making some biscuits for the crowd, over a fire.  Another friend, natural woman, stirring the sausage gravy to go with the biscuits over a fire.  Bacon fried, sausage sizzled.  It was a glorious but chilly morning.  Husband and I plopped a box of donuts on the table and asked about coffee.  Oh, it’s over there...by the fire. 

To say we were newcomers to this camping deal would be the proverbial understatement of understatements.  We were so ill equipped food-wise, blanket-wise, and fire-wise.  We slept in a little hut and heard mice run ALL night long.  We were miserable and fatigued. It was creepy and cold and the best weekend our little family ever had!  

I thought of that great Memorial Day camping adventure as I looked out over my yard tonight, waiting for my gas grilled hobos to finish.  I remembered us as young families.  Goodness, how times and lives have changed.   I think of some of my favorite girls, now moms of their own growing families.  They were so silly and I loved them all so very much.  My “group” of young men. Goodness, what fun.  

Sometimes I think I want to camp.  To hit the open road, to set up a spot and relax.  Foil packets of meat and potatoes do that to me.  

Red, white or what?

I am not a connoisseur of wines but I do enjoy a glass with my evening meal and shared among friends around a kitchen island or counter.  On a porch or a deck, with a view or without, around a fire.  I like cheese, too, and yes even the tangy blue.  Crumbled, with some walnuts.  Yummy.  I enjoy a creamy brie, a smokey gouda, a soft muenster.  I do like cheese. 

Not all of you are wine drinkers.  I hear some folks get headaches from wine. So sorry for you.  This, I guess, is more common for red wine than white.  Others don’t drink wine  because of a personal belief or a history of issues and addictions.  I respect those circumstances.  

My favorite is Cabernet.  Like it.  Can find it in any price range and frankly, sometimes the “cheap stuff” is “good stuff”.  I’m fond of the little label Mad Housewife but have recently really loved Bogle.  

Have you tried Bogle? Great smoothness, nice fruitiness.  I am trying the Bogle Merlot this week and it is also very good, a bit lighter than the Cab, and nice sale price at the local grocery this week.  

While I am not huge into whites, I do love the Toasted Head Chardonnay and will order this when I am out.  Served at the right temperature, it is a pleasure to drink.  Its a strong white so if you like the light and fruity, don’t bother.  But if you like to taste a wine, this one is good.  Also under $14 a bottle and can find on sale around $10 at times. Its worth it, but remember, the temperature on a chilled white makes ALL the difference.  I don’t have a wine cooler which is why I often wait to have a glass when I am out at a place with a great wine selection and good refrigeration.   

If you can, try a glass of wine.  The experience of drinking a glass of wine is different than slamming back a shot or a beer.  Savor it.  Relax with it.  Linger over conversation with interesting, or even boring people (they get better with a glass of wine in them). Don’t worry about what you are eating, just enjoy a glass.  If you can’t, that’s okay, I understand but please don’t mind if I do. 

See?

This weekend in my not-so-empty-nest, I'm expecting some visitors from the south.  Only about 2 1/2 hours south, but south none the less.  Two of the three offspring are arriving, grand daughter divine in tow,  for some chill time.  Love it when they can all be here at one time but this weekend the youngest is staying in her home to take care of some post insurance painting.

I love, love, LOVE for the kids to visit and I will take them in any combination.  Sometimes it's one, sometimes two..and all that they bring with them.  Sometimes it is for a certain event or get-together, sometimes it is just because they are available and willing.  This weekend was to be a celebration of a favorite aunt's birthday but, details changed and that's been postponed.  Since they had already made the plans, its on like Donkey Kong.  We're excited.

This means a bit of a rush around clean up for us.  Which is very good as I am not a Suzy Homemaker and house work is not my thing.  (I deplore it, really, so its always good when company is coming and I spruce up.)   For years and years it seemed like I was the only one to whom it mattered.  Once I purposefully left a sock lying in the middle of the floor, to see if anyone other than me would pick it up.  No one did. Well, not until I did, about a week later.

The kids were fairly grown and I thought "Why am I busting my butt, getting all stressed out, yelling, threatening and generally acting like a crazy woman, when no one cares but me what this house looks like on a day to day basis?"  It was on that day that I decided I was not going to be a House Wife.

My mom invested her entire day to housewifery.  She got up to make my dad's breakfast, she cleaned the kitchen.  She fed all of us breakfast.  She cleaned the kitchen.  She scrubbed, she ran the vacuum, she dusted and washed windows, used Windex on all the mirrors, did laundry, made lunch and then cleaned the kitchen.  She folded laundry, she ironed, she had an afternoon snack for us, cheese and crackers for my dad when he got home from work, she started dinner and she cleaned the kitchen.  I'm sure your mothers did much the same and in some homes, even more.  As kids, we did some chores on Saturday and we made our beds,  but mostly it was my mom.

I couldn't keep that pace as I worked outside the home when my youngest turned about 2 and everyone had to pitch in.  The kids did their own laundry at a very early age, and they really, overall, were huge helpers around the house and still are.  Times they needed some gentle prodding and I would state, sometimes in an always loving but slightly raised voice "For crying out loud, take a look around and see what needs to be done, then do it!"  There were things they didn't HAVE to do but there was plenty of stuff they could do to help out...and sometimes, I acted like a crazy woman and that can be  blamed on a little thing called PMS most of the time.  I have a different set of hormones controlling me now.  Whatever happened to that catchy phrase, anyway?

Now the pace is much different.  I clean a bit, and a bit more on the weekends, a bit more than that when company is coming, and even more when I have a shindig or soiree and then, I can be a shadow of that former crazy woman self and go just a bit hormonal.  I am not tied to housewifery like my little mom was, and her mom before her.  I tried to be that person for about 10 years and just couldn't keep up that pace.  Don't get me wrong, the house is clean, folks, but not always as tidy as it could be.  You won't be seeing me on a TLC series or anything.

Empty Shmempty

I am not a politician nor a campaigner.  I am not someone to spear-head, whatever that is.  However, I may start...today.

I've heard or used the term empty nester, and well, I don't like it, and I'm putting a stop to it.

Empty is sort of a negative, isn't it? Empty gas tank, empty room, empty mind.  I decided this week that I don't want to be the "empty" nester.  The whole idea of the "empty" just goes against what I believe to be true about the times ahead, what I believe to be true about me.   I'll be a nester but I am not going to be empty, thank you.

I want my "golden years" to be filled.  Filled with family, filled with friends, filled with hope, filled with adventures and filled with memories.  I'm ready to take this on, folks.  I'm spear-heading, I think?  It's a campaign! It's a grassroots effort! Is it? What does that mean again? Join me!

My nest may be less crowded than it once was but its not empty! Not as long as I am here!

This just in!!!

Had to post this quickly, before the taste left my palate!  If you read the Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond's blog you may have already seen this, but IF you love avocado and don't mind a hard boiled egg, mix those two puppies together and make your self some Avocado Egg Salad.  Wow, is all I can say.  I spread mine on a flour tortilla for a bit of a wrap, with lettuce, chopped tomato and Oh.My.Word.   Bacon in there would be FABULOUS as well. Why have I not thought of this before? Build on it people!

One of the best things I have ever bought...

Alright, I'm going to take a bit of a turn here and post about this great 3 piece strainer set I recently got at Wal Mart.  Now, think what you will about Wal Mart but they do have some great stuff..you just have to admit.

If you didn't know by now,  I am an "empty nester"; I am also an empty nester in a small nest so I try to shop reasonable sizes.  Not to say I haven't gotten some very wrong items over the years, I have many, many times.  But, I completed the 12 step program on over-sizing and over-purchasing a couple years back and things are much less crowded around here.

So a couple weeks ago, middle child and I were shopping at the Wal Mart in her town.  I got held up looking for an item in the housewares and she wandered off.  As I rounded a corner, there she stood,  holding this set of strainers with a look of awe and wonderment on her face.  I right away widened my eyes and "Ohhhh'd", as is appropriate when out shopping.   We looked for a second set so we could each have one, then a third for youngest daughter and a fourth for son and his girlfriend.

This strainer set is ideal for my kitchen!  See that small one? Well, its perfect for just my single serving of grapes, or for straining olives for my egg salad.  Washing a few cherry tomatoes for your salad? Perfect!  I love this little thing!  The bigger sizes are great as well with the largest not quite as big as a traditional size colander but the steep sides make it super for big quantities or sizes.  The set is stackable of course, in this bright fun green and.....wait for it.... $5.97.  $5.97!

I am very deliberate about my purchases these days; I have wasted too much money on the wrong thing  far too many times.  I have suffered through tons of clutter and am still drawn to a wide variety of "things" but I have streamlined a bunch in the past five years.  I try (and its not perfected yet, I said TRY) not to bring anything in unless I know something is going out.

Long live the small house!

Take time, take care

Living on a small lake, I enjoy sharing the lake with others in our large family.  Its a great piece of property and although we wonder how we are going to be able to care for it as we age, we’ll figure it out later.  That day isn’t here yet. 

We had great weather for the 4th of July, and a great family time.  It may be my second favorite holiday while hubs says its his very favorite.  I am fond of Thanksgiving, personally.   But, this year, the 4th will be a standout.  

Hubs got to cross off a bucket list item when he swam in the lake with his granddaughter.  She wasn’t wild about the lake in the previous summers and he was so looking forward to going out there and bobbing around with her.  She was a champ and kicked her little legs like she has been taught.  Has a great floaty vest and took right to the water.  It was a lot of fun to hear my daughter’s voice saying “kick, kick, kick” like we did with her.  It reminded me of my own dad getting such a chuckle when my kids  earned their guppy designation at their swim lessons at the Y.  It was hard to understand the joy at the time, but I get it now, Dad.  I chuckled.  

We also had a nice family get-together with a lot of family here.  Its really important to me to try to bring family together when I can.  Its really for selfish reasons...I love them being together.  I love watching them all in one place, interacting.  Here I am as that observer again, but, I love just seeing it.  I enjoy the similarities, the weaving of lives together, the changes.   

Family is everything.  I know that might be repetitive as I possibly have stated that before, but I so enjoy spending time with my own kids.  I so enjoy spending time with my brothers-in-law, their wives and their kids.  And their kid’s kids.  Oh, my, I love my great nieces and nephews.  When I was first married into this large family I loved having my sisters-in-law so close; built in friends.  As our babies were born, my own had their best buddies a house or two away.  I love to see our grown up young men and women, careers underway, spend time with each other and refresh their relationships.  It can be a bit awkward at first, as their busy lives and their distance try to remain in front, but after a while that washes away and the familiar is in the lead..its the "I KNOW you" that wins, every time.  

Take time for family! Take care of family! 

Swingin'

This week my mood is swinging. Less than a swing really, more like a sway. 

Have you ever had one of those weeks? Where it is just off for you?  Can’t rally, can’t wallow.  Don’t really want to call it a low, as its more like a...oh,  I don’t know, when you are walking along and there’s a change in the terrain and you sort of sink for a second.  Like mole runs.  

I have been watching a show in which a character develops Alzheimer’s.  Its so sad and it brought back some personal sadness for me.  The show is kind of dark and gloomy all around, actually.  

I think I need to pop in a Disney movie.  

Cow manure anyone?

Today is one of those gloomy days.  One that makes you think there is no such thing as the sun or bright colors, and draws you to stay snuggled in a big bed with fluffy covers. 

Snap out of it.  

There’s always something to do, even on these gloomy days.  Today, for example, I looked down near the lakeshore to where I have a couple small flower boxes.  I weeded these boxes over the weekend.  I also took advantage of the cooler, sunny day and dumped out the garden cart, cleaned off some tools, emptied a couple of cow manure bags, black dirt bags and the like of the dredges that remained,  laid things out on the lawn to “dry out”.   Inventoried what I had left over,  what I might need to purchase.  Nearly full cow manure bag, full bag of top soil.  That will be enough for some other small projects near the house.  Set those aside, tool caddy empty and shaken out, animal nest of at least two pair of my jersey work gloves thrown out...need new gloves.  Left the garden cart, one of my favorite things, in the sunshine to receive some air and for the dirt clods to dry so I could easily sweep it.

This morning, naturally, I looked down to where my garden cart is left in the field, its sunny spot replaced by a torrent of rain.  I did not want my garden cart to get wet, to become swollen with moisture! I did not want my tools to be strewn about, now near floating as the rain creates puddles in my yard, to become rusty and gross.   I certainly did not want the plastic bag of cow manure, with an ever so small opening, to turn into heavy liquid mush.   Why oh why is it raining again today? 

Find some rubber sandals, tredge down to the lakeside, attempt to empty the cart of standing water, pull it, yank it, through my now soaking yard; would have been much easier yesterday, when it was dry and breezy.  Into the barn, where I have been left no room to roll my cart in and out, but squeeze it in after turning it on its end, banging against my shin only twice.  If I were a cartoon character, and somedays I think I am, I would have one of those bubbles with @#&%#$@ above my drenched head.  

Faced now with the heavily laden cow manure and top soil issue, the assortment of tools, empty pots and what was once  fertilizer granules, I hear thunder and I chuck whatever plan I had brewing for salvaging what I could.   Eh, it will be there tomorrow, having left  big yellow patches in my lawn, but I’ll get my garden cart out and go load that stuff up. 

Stories. Yours, mine, ours.

When I started thinking about a blog a couple years back, there were particular topics rolling around in my noggin’ that I thought I would write about.  Creating a name, thinking about what was important to me, chimed in.  Being able to look out of my window, both at the big picture and my little corner of it came into play.  Then there is the whole looking inward thing, you know, Cindi’s window into Cindi, and ta-daa.  (Did you think it was only about looking out that window?)

As it turns out, some of the topics no longer interest me.  Some of the “fire” of the topics has simply become stale or stupid, to be frank, so I think they would not interest you, either.  Coupled with this is my true desire to be somewhat entertaining.  I like being entertaining. I think of myself as a storyteller, although not accomplished particularly, I love a good story.  I love the retelling of a good story, and hearing a good story.   

I think this is the old lady that I want to become.  The one that gathers all the little children to her feet and tells some great story, that will keep them enraptured for about a half hour.  Some may say I already am this person.  I kept many a kid at least  interested in a particular experience or two along my life’s highway and I really enjoyed it when they would share one of theirs with me.  Usually wasn’t a law breaker - those I think they kept to themselves or shared with friends.  I’m kinda grateful, as if any of them did have something illegal to tell me, well, I would have been heavily burdened on how to move forward, both with them and with their parents!  As it were, it was mainly about romances and relationships, but also just fun, goofy stuff.  

I have some nieces and nephews and I love to hear their stories.   I wish I had more of their time so that I could pull details out and watch them come alive with storytelling.  I love to hear my niece giggle as she sets aside her teenage isolation to become an active participant in family conversation.  I truly enjoy a favorite (should I call one a favorite among several? Well, he is, I can’t help it!) nephew squirm when he realizes he has revealed too much and may have just stepped over a line.  But, he’ll figure it out.  Like his growth spurts, his mouth spurts are unpredictable at times.  He steps in it more often than around it, and it is, right now, part of his charm.  

As kids turn in to young adults, and having had a few bruises and bumps along the way, they often turn reluctant to remember, to share.   Getting their stories out is one of my favorite things.   Talking to strangers is another.  I have learned so much from strangers.   I like to go to museums or displays or flea markets...whatever... and instead of just walking by ask questions and wait for the story.  There are too many that will walk by, nod their head and let the story remain untold.   Adults don’t ask.  It’s funny when we see adults prod little Johnny or Sally to ask questions they themselves really want to know the answer to!  Ask.  That person did not set up that display, or volunteer to work that table so we will all walk by as uninformed after passing as we were upon approaching.  Ask!  Tell!  

Bring it on, Grandma!

I LOVE my children.  I mean, I seriously love them.   When my friends and family became grandmothers one by one, I was often told “Just wait.  You won’t believe it.”, I admit I thought to myself “Really? How different can it be? I LOVE my children”.  

Well, from the moment this first little blonde head popped into my life I am a flag waving member of that “Just wait...you won’t believe it” group.  I don’t believe it.  I don’t believe the joy she brings to me and hubs.  I don’t believe how she makes the faces of others light up with delight.  I don’t believe the look in my daughter’s eyes as she talks about her, or my son-in-law’s pure affection for her.  I don’t believe I am the grandmother to this beauty.  I don’t believe how I ache to see her and almost run her grandfather over to be the first to get to her.  I don’t believe I could be any more fulfilled.  

I also don’t believe the way she looks at me.  She loves me.  She finds me funny.  Told me yesterday, in fact, “You funny, Gigi”.  I am so thrilled with her, and with my daughter, that I could almost explode.  I am entertained by my husband rolling around on the floor with her, and her squeals and giggles.  When she cries and sticks her lower lip out because things don’t go her way, I can’t help but chuckle, even when she is in deep with Mama.  

But! I have a new grandbaby on the way and more to follow, of this I am sure!   I am so looking forward to more joy, more disbelief, more, more and more.  I know the capacity to love is great in me!  I AM READY! 

I

What was that you said?

I started training to service a new virtual client. It has been a while since I have been challenged and I’m glad I took this on but it has meant that my days have been very, very long.

I told hubs about two weeks ago this was going to be a very stressful time, and I wasn’t wrong. I’ve put in 14 to 15 hour days at the computer and while I understand that sounds glamorous, it is so not. I am tired. My eyes are tired, my butt is tired and my feet are swollen. This is not, my friends, even remotely glamorous!

The scheduling of this training has been difficult because I also continue to work a certain number of hours in order to keep my budget in line, and is why the days have been long. This is the drawback of working for yourself, working from home. My training is at my expense. When I say yes to a new project, I pay for it. I also pay for my own sick time, vacation time, personal leave and that sort of thing. Guess who doesn’t have benefits?

Poor hubs has eaten well this week but not exactly served in style, nor early. He’s seen me in the same pair of flannel pants for four days at least and we won’t even start on my hair. He asked me one night if it was worth it as I don’t seem to “have a life”. Well, I pointed out, I told you it was going to be a very stressed two weeks. It’s been five days.

This is a recurring issue in our discussions. He has no sense of time when it comes to this kind of thing. Five days is not two weeks. Two weeks of a stressful schedule is not equal to not “having a life”. No, this is, as I have discovered through our years of marriage, his way of telling me there is something HE needs.

This afternoon, I had enough of my very long week and changed the last half of my day. Sent an email to hubs letting him know there would be a square meal this evening. I was pooped; I needed a break but so did he. It has been a long five days, and there will be more long days ahead but tonight, it was time to put up my feet, have a glass of red wine and enjoy a perfectly grilled steak. Anyone that has been married or in a relationship for any length of time knows you have to listen for and respond to the cues.

Not my kid.

Many blog posts ago I mentioned a group of lady friends that I have.  We’ve known each other for a long time now and have rallied, cheered and prayed each other through some great, and not so great times.  I have to say, though, more great than not.  We have kids the same ages and its been fun, to say the least.  

Of the original 10 members (we now boast 11), our youngest just graduated from college with her four year nursing degree.  This is our baby...the one we all carried around at some point, or sat in the nursery with, when she was the only baby there.  She was a chubby, beautiful, sparkly treat.  

I felt somewhat grown up when my own baby graduated from college, then got married.  As I looked at a few pictures from the youngest Yada (yes, we do have a name...) baby’s graduation, I felt really progressed.  Advanced aged.  I remember sitting with her on my lap and singing over the sparkly diamond on her little lacy anklets, while her blonde curls danced.  Now here’s a picture of her with her sparkly blue eyes and brilliant smile in a grown girl’s face.   

I am blessed with a great group of ladies, and their families.  I have had amazing experiences and adventures with them.  They entrusted their children to me on a variety of occasions, events and excursions.  I’ve sat up late with many of those children and heard their dreams, listened to them as they questioned their place, celebrated with them as they achieved a goal.  I would not trade those times for silver or gold...they are precious to me.  I watch (cause that’s what I do) as they move onward in their lives, no longer a part of their week or weekend, but as dedicated to them as I have ever been, still cheering. 

Allowing me to love your children...thanks ladies.  That’s more valuable to me than you may ever know.